


A Love Story

by NCISVILLE



Series: The Royal Rooks [1]
Category: Victoria (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergent, Episode study, F/M, Goes into deeper detail for episodes 1-4, King Consort William Au, Secret Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-11-14 13:51:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 51,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11209383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NCISVILLE/pseuds/NCISVILLE
Summary: It was always accidental. They never meant to fall in love but there's only so much you can do to fight nature. The only remedy is to embrace it and let your heart lead you, even if it means marrying the Queen in secret.Follows episodes 1-4 then diverges into an AU that ultimately ends with King Consort William Lamb Melbourne.





	1. Accidentally in Love

**Author's Note:**

> Finally this baby is ready. It's only been 9 months in the making. Caution, as much as I'd love to update daily (as I have the story completed) I live in a remote part with no WiFi atm and have to drive a half hour to the nearest Starbucks for internet. So all this to say, I will be posting as much as I physically can.

Melbourne’s first impression of the new Queen was that she was direct and did not withhold her opinion on how she perceived things. 

“The prince with a head the size of a pumpkin.” 

He had to fight to contain the bubble of laughter that wanted to burst forth from his mouth at her statement. 

The next thing impressed upon him was just how different her brain worked. Rather than a name, her doll had a number. When she realized she’d be Queen she didn’t rejoice in the power or prestige she would gain; instead she thought practically about the size of the crown.

The third thing impressed was her dislike of Sir John Conroy. He noted the sharpness of her tone, the glare in her eyes, and how cold she became at the mention of his name. He could tell from the stiffness of her posture and her clipped words that Sir John had done something to her in the past and possibly still was by what she said. No one spoke about another in such a way unless offense had been done. An idea sparked in his mind and he decided to offer her his help; it would give him a chance to get to know her better, and work more closely with her. He found a certain pull to her from her candidness that amused him, or perhaps it was something more…perhaps attraction. He shook the thought from his mind and continued on.

The fourth thing impressed upon him was just how strong her will was. She was headstrong and he found that endearing. She quickly turned him down and said with confidence she would ask for help if she needed it. She was already showing the face of a strong queen and it made him smile. 

Even this early on, he could tell this time around would be different as Prime Minister. The Queen would keep him on his toes for sure, and he anticipated a certain amount of amusement. She intrigued him and he wanted to uncover more of who she was. He genuinely was beginning to look forward to his job for the first time in years. 

 

                                                    XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX 

When he saw the Queen next it was for the address she gave to the Privy Council, and he could see clearly how nervous she was. She was softer spoken, she gripped her hands tighter, and she was struggling to breathe properly. He watched her scan the crowd and upon seeing him, he offered her an encouraging smile and nod. She needed a friend and he wished to be one. 

Her speech was regal and confident, inspiring him for the reign to come. She was small but he paid no second thought to it. She looked like a Queen and held herself like that of a true monarch. Even as she sat down he looked upon her with eyes of admiration. It was no small task to suddenly take the weight of the country upon ones’ shoulders, especially at such a young age. Not that he thought that would adversely affect the country, merely thought of how much responsibility she was taking on, and how well she was handling it. 

He watched painfully as moments ticked by in silence after Lord Ilchester kissed her hand. She had been sheltered in Kensington; it was not surprising she did not know her subjects name. He could practically hear her distress and took it upon himself to help her despite her earlier protest of not needing help. He stood off to the side and whispered the name of each person in her ear. The longer he stood and helped, the more confident he watched her become. He was happy to be of service, and it gave him an unknown thrill to be so close to her whispering in her ear. 

He found himself irked by her uncle and the insinuation that he would soon be in government. The Queen may well be inexperienced and young, but he felt in his heart that she was exactly who the people needed and she would grow into her role as Queen and be the finest monarch this country had seen. He felt a certain pride that he would get to see her growth and perhaps facilitate a portion of it. 

Melbourne was grateful for his ability to think quick on his feet and thought of an appropriate excuse to stop Cumberland’s exchange with his Queen. She did not protest and seemed to follow his guidance. He led her out towards the balcony, dutifully staying a step behind her. 

“Queen Victoria.” 

He liked the sound of her name that came from his mouth and could not help the pleased smile that overtook his face. Pride swelled in his chest as he watched her wave to the people below, looking elegant and regal as only a true Queen could. She did it so naturally and with a grace that could not be learned. He found himself wanting to bestow affection upon her. There was a feeling beginning to grow inside him, like the seed of one of the flowers he once grew.

 

                                                    XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX 

The third time he had an audience with the Queen, he found himself rather looking forward to the long ride from Kensington to Buckingham House. He would have more time to unravel the mysteries of the Queen that intrigued him. She told him stories about Dash and the horrors of Sir John and she asked him what being Prime Minister for her uncle was like. He was all too happy to tell her and share things about himself as he learned more about her and uncovered who she truly was without the crown. The more he learned, the more captivated he found himself. She was so fascinated by the world as they passed by town after town. Her eyes were wide with wonder and awe. They sparkled with youthful vibrancy, and it made his own return. He felt younger beside her and couldn’t help but smile. When they reached the house, he found himself curious by her comment about light and felt compassion from her answer. She really had led such a sheltered life. His heart hurt knowing just how much life she really had yet to experience. 

Watching her walk through the house was such a joy in and of itself. She ran through the rooms and he had to stifle a laugh of joy at her childlike wonder. Her smile was contagious that he couldn’t help but feel light when he walked. Seeing her on the throne was a tad amusing. She looked like a child trying on her father’s clothes. 

“It is hard to be dignified when your feet are six inches from the floor.” He smiled at her own good humor of the situation and continued following her around, answering questions, finding himself dreading when he would have to leave her presence. She was a breath of fresh air, a cool drink of water on a hot summer’s day, and he never wanted to stop drinking her in.   

She was freely talking to him, telling him all about the way her mother and Sir John treated her and he felt offense on her behalf as well as indignation. This petite girl held so much fire within her and he felt like a moth. How could he not be drawn to her? 

She sat down on a bench in what would become her bedroom and he stood some feet in front of her trying to keep a safe distance so he could not be burned by her light. Even from a distance he felt the hurt in her voice when she said, 

“They don’t believe me capable of being Queen.” 

“I think they’re mistaken ma’am.” He spoke truthfully. His lips turned up in a small smile at the joke that ran through his head. Wanting to put the Queen in good spirits he decided to share. “And anyone who dares comment on your stature should be sent straight to the tower.” 

Her smile and chuckle made his heart flutter and he found himself wishing to hear her laugh fully, and smile widely. He wanted to lift her spirits completely and make her believe in herself the way he already did. 

“I’ve only known you a short while ma’am; but I’m confident that you will bring great credit to the monarchy. It’s true your education may be lacking in some areas but you have a natural dignity that cannot be learnt.” 

“You don’t think I’m too short to be dignified?”

“To me ma’am, you are every inch a Queen.” And it was true. He hoped his cheeks weren’t as red as he felt, that he hadn’t given away too much of what he was already beginning to feel. Hearing his words however seemed to fill her with confidence and that’s really what he had been trying to accomplish. 

“Lord Melbourne, when we first met, you offered to act as my private secretary.” 

“You did not accept my offer.” He affirmed, confused by her revival of the subject. 

“But you are still willing?” 

He tried to fight off the smile that wanted to take over his features. She was asking him to be even closer to her. In that moment it was all he really wanted in the world. “I would be honoured ma’am.” 

“Thank you.” She offered with a smile that made his heart swell. “Lord M.” 

He found himself amused and the name endearing. This time he couldn’t fight off the smile.

 

                                                  XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

Even when he was not in her presence, Melbourne found himself thinking of her no less. She consumed every thought of his, and all he could do in return was keep giving away more of his heart for her to take. She was so kind and gentle one moment alone with him, but the next moment when in the company of another minister he watched as she transformed into a Queen who would not take any nonsense, and engage combat with a sharp tongue. She was exactly who this country needed in power and he felt honoured to have such a privilege of being her prime minister. In the house he could not help but speak up to defend her not just because it was his duty but because he wanted to, felt inclined to. He wanted everyone to know just how marvelous she truly was. 

When he got to be with her again, his world seemed to fall into alignment once more and he began to find purpose. Where just a while ago he would have given anything to retire, he found the very notion now appalling. He never wanted to leave her side. He felt his passion for politics reinvigorated the more he got to teach her and fill in the gaps in her schooling. 

Every so often as they were up on their horses at a ceremony he would lean over and tell her the significance of a certain action and the proper response, sometimes he would just make a joke to see her smile. 

The next day as they were choosing her ladies he found that they could not go more than a few minutes without teasing each other and sharing looks that made his heart beat faster. If she kept looking at him like that there would be no stopping him from falling in love with her, he suspected however, that it was already happening.

 

                                                    XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX 

Sir John was indeed a snake. The audacity the man had to tell Melbourne that he was the one controlling Victoria. He had to bite back the remark that it was not him who tried to control the Queen, but rather Sir John, whose only interest was securing power for himself through Victoria. Instead he found a way to insinuate that very notion in a more roundabout way. 

The only thing he cared for was Victoria herself and making sure he equipped her to lead confidently without help from him all the time. He wondered how Victoria had managed for so long under such a manipulative man and commended her for not letting her strong will break under such a forceful hand. He left Sir John knowing he had won the argument and wished now for a glass of brandy and to see Victoria. 

He took a moment to compose himself, staring at himself in the mirror of the door, trying to rid himself of the anger that had bubbled up from Sir John. He didn’t want to be angry around her. He knew the only reason he became so upset from the conversation was because of how deeply he felt for his Queen. It was becoming uncontrollable. The more he was around her, the more he found himself needing her smile, her presence. He hoped he wasn’t so obvious; perhaps there was a grain of truth to what Sir John had said. He wasn’t in any way trying to manipulate Victoria, but perhaps that’s what other people saw. They were together a majority of most days. He, of course, loved spending the time with her but maybe in doing so he was hindering the Queen from being fully accepted. 

He pushed through the door to her, ready for their ride out as he was accustomed to, his mind now plagued with doubts.

 

                                                      XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX 

“There is a message from Lady Portman, My Lord. She says she knows what day it is but the Queen is asking for you.” 

The coronation ball was today. The same day that reminded him so acutely he had lost the one person who had meant the world to him after his wife’s betrayal. His little boy, Augustus. It hurt just as much as the previous years, but today, this time he had a glimmer of hope where before there had been only darkness. Now, he had Victoria. He knew she did not know the significance of the day; how could she? He suspected she was afraid of being on her own, without him to reassure her. It was her first affair with all royalty and the house present. The world was watching her now. 

He spent another moment mourning his son before taking a deep breath and leaving his study to dress. The Queen needed him, and in that moment, he needed her just as much. 

When he arrived at the ball he quietly slipped in to see she was dancing with the Grand Duke. He couldn’t help but smile softly. She looked so beautiful. His soul once downcast, was now being lifted as he caught her eye and they both smiled at one another. His attention was grabbed away from her for a moment as he saw Emma walk up to him. 

“You have been missed.” 

“She seems to be managing quite well.” And it was true. She did not truly need him at all. She was capable and strong to be Queen on her own. Soon she would realize this and he would be sent away. He quickly pushed the thought away. She caught his eye again and he smiled, feeling happy that of everyone in the room she actively sought him out. 

“Are you going to watch her all night?” Emma asked amused and silently challenging him to do something. Emma was too perceptive for her own good. He huffed a laugh and looked to her with a smile before looking back to Victoria, captivated by the grace and beauty she had while dancing. 

“She’s completely artless I suppose. She no sooner has a thought than she expresses it. She’s too impulsive for a Queen. And yet…” He broke off, too taken by Victoria. He was helplessly falling for her; so enraptured by her personality and character. He knew he must look like a love sick fool with the way he couldn’t stop smiling as he watched her, but she was saving him. She was giving him purpose, a reason for being, a renewed love of politics. She was a beacon of light for his boat that had once been aimlessly sailing in the dark headed for destruction. She took his mind off his dead and buried family and helped his heart beat again. How could he not smile? 

He watched as the Grand Duke let his hand fall to a more uncivilized place and jealousy flared within. How dare that man touch his Queen. He sent Lord Alfred in to stop the dance before quickly swooping in. He tried to argue that his rage was because of the way the Russian was handling Victoria rather than the fact it was not Melbourne who was holding her. Once Victoria was separated he began to make his way over to her so when she turned around he was right where he always wished to be. 

“May I have the honour?” 

There was something he saw flash in her eyes that he could not name. When he held her there was something in him that screamed to never let go, to continue to dance with her forever. It felt so right, so perfect, and in that one moment something shifted in his heart and he knew for sure that he was in love. 

“I thought you might not come.” She confessed openly. 

“I had a matter to attend to.” He didn’t want to tell her about Augustus, not on this night when she was supposed to be happy. 

“I thought perhaps you were cross with me.” 

What a silly thought. How on earth could he ever be cross with her? She was the only one who made him smile. “You? Never.” 

“You dance so well. I wish I could dance with you every night.” 

His heart leapt. When he looked in her eyes for a moment he thought he saw mirrored what he felt. But how could she? Why would she? He was old and foolish, she was not. He must have been deceived in what he saw. 

“You are very young.” 

“I am eighteen. Old enough to be Queen.” 

He laughed at her defiant response. It was one of the things that had drawn him to her. 

“You are not old Lord M.” She replied with an equally amused laugh. 

He marveled at how easy things could be between them; how they seemed to float across the dance floor and through conversations as though they’d always known each other. 

“If only that were true.” 

The song ended a moment later and he smiled and bowed, happy to have gotten to dance with her and hold her as he now wished to do for eternity. He held her gaze for a moment, a smile on both their lips and again he saw his own emotions mirrored in her eyes. Surely, he could not have imagined that for a second time? He slipped away to the back of the room again to watch her as it was all he could do now. He’d already danced with her once. To do so again would hurt her own reputation and give away his true inclinations towards her.

He stayed in the shadows watching, noticing, and winced when he saw her drink some more and begin to raise her voice towards Lady Flora. He moved himself into position to ease the situation and help her out of her champagne induced trouble. 

“Ma’am. It’s very hot in here. Shall we go walk out on the balcony?” She thankfully followed his lead without another word and walked out of the room away from the crowd that was now surely talking about her. He wished to keep her from further trouble and embarrassment. 

“I’m afraid you’re tired, ma’am. Perhaps you should retire.” He knew she wasn’t tired however, just very drunk. She never had a filter before and he feared now would only be worse. 

“I don’t want to retire. I want to dance with you.” He felt her latch onto his lapels and pull them both together. 

Where once she had been feet away she was now pressed to him. His heart was beating wildly and at the same time he felt he couldn’t breathe. All he could do was look into her eyes. Those eyes shone brightly her affection for him and he began to lose himself in the turbulent stormy blue seas. They were silent as she sobered for a moment upon how close they were. He longed for nothing more than to slowly lean down and taste the champagne on her lips, to become drunk from her kisses and touch. 

“Not…tonight, ma’am.” He found himself gently saying. 

Even after his words they did not move away. He knew he should take a step back, but both were too entranced by the other. They stayed, silently gazing at one another until Victoria pushed herself up on her toes and slowly began to reach for his lips. His mind was screaming for him to move, to stop her, to do something to maintain propriety, but his heart…his treacherous heart yearned for this. Inevitably, he was the one who brought their lips together in a gentle kiss, testing out the waters. She pressed harder and he responded, holding her face in his hands. Her lips were warm and soft, the taste of champagne lingered and he found himself wanting more. She broke their kiss, gasping for air. It was her first kiss he suddenly realized and beamed, proud to have given her that. There was a smile on her face that he had never seen before; she gripped his hand tightly before beginning to take off running down the hallway. He laughed at suddenly being yanked and tried to keep up with her, lest she drag him. And while he knew everything that was happening was wrong he found himself not caring in the moment. She’d made him drunk off her kiss.She snuck him out to the balcony, giggling as they avoided the servants and guests. 

“What are we doing out here, ma’am?” He asked, suspecting he already knew the answer to the question. 

“Hiding.” She whispered, pulling him to the corner of the balcony, hidden in the dark shadows cast by the night, and out of the line of sight of those walking by from the inside. She looked rather proud of herself for doing something so rebellious and improper. 

“We’ll get into trouble if anyone finds us out here.” He tried to reason. 

“Have faith, Lord M. I’ve been hiding in Kensington from mama for years now. I know how to remain hidden when inclined to.” 

“I do not doubt it.” He answered affectionately, his eyes and lips smiling, his heart leaping for joy. 

She lay her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly, body flush with his. She breathed in deeply and he felt his heart flutter. “I know I drank too much Lord M, but I know in the morning I shall not regret this. Not one moment.” 

He chuckled, “Well I am relieved to hear that, ma’am.” 

“For you see…you are the only one I think I shall ever desire.” She confessed, lifting her head.

He smiled and stroked her face before she reached up with her hands to bring his face closer to her own. Their lips met again for the third time that night and it was a much slower, languid kiss; one of exploration. 

“How do you make my heart beat so, Lord M? I feel as though it wants to leap right out of my chest every time you look at me. And now…when you kiss me, I feel it stop.” 

He felt it too. He knew what she was describing was love but it was too early to confess such things. There were so many things that could happen and he was still much too afraid. 

She laid her head on his chest again and began to breathe softly. They silently stood there embracing. She was so silent he believed she had fallen asleep.

“Ma’am?” He asked. 

She only hummed and it confirmed his suspicions. She was indeed falling asleep. 

“You’re tired ma’am. I believe it really is time for you to retire now.” 

“But if I retire then you shall leave.” She mumbled. 

“I’ll be back first thing in the morning, ma’am.” He assured. 

“Do you promise?” 

“I find I cannot stay away from you ma’am, try as I might. So I shall see you in the morning after breakfast. I promise.” 

She seemed happy with his words and looked up at him, with sleep clouded eyes and pecked his lips. “Something to hold me over until the next time I see you.” She explained. 

He smiled and squeezed her hand before helping her to walk back inside and towards her rooms. Despite the haze of sleep and champagne, Victoria seemed to understand that they had to maintain a respectable distance now in the sight of others and he was grateful for such. If anything more between them was to continue it would have to be in secret. He already knew of the rumors floating around in Dover House of her being referred to as Mrs. Melbourne. The very thought made him warm inside. If only they realized how much that name was valued to the both of them, they would not say it. 

When Victoria was safely in her chambers he went off in search of Lehzen to let her know that the Queen had gone to her room to retire and was in need of help getting ready for the night. 

He went home that night feeling happier than he had in years, the taste of Victoria still on his lips, her scent filling his nose, and the feel of her head on his chest and arms around him. He was in love and there was no denying it any longer. A single kiss had solidified his affections for all eternity.

 

                                                 XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX 

When he saw her next for their ride out after breakfast, just as he’d promised, he found Victoria feeling particularly vexed. Her mood only slightly softened when she saw him and gave an affectionate smile but quickly he was told how she had something pressing to talk about regarding Lady Flora. 

Upon hearing how distressed she was believing Sir John and Lady Flora had joined together and were with child he knew this may come back to bite Victoria. She was already under scrutiny for her age and gender alone, this surely would only serve as further detriment to her name. 

“I have no desire to stir up the Tories at the moment. It’s hard enough controlling my own party, but I don’t want you to do something rash.” 

“I believe I have a duty here to find out the truth.” 

“I’m afraid the truth is vastly overrated. Much better to let this affair alone.” 

“Tomorrow, I take the coronation oath. How can I promise to serve my country faithfully when my court is rank with corruption?” 

“The problem with a scandal is the mud does not always stick to the right people.” 

“Is that all you care about? Avoiding a scandal?” She asked harshly. 

He knew she hadn’t meant it the way it was implied, but it hurt all the same. All he wanted to do was protect her from the same fate he had thrust upon him. 

“I do know how painful and humiliating a scandal can be.” He answered softly. 

For a moment they rode together in silence before Victoria said, “I’m sorry. I did not mean it Lord M. I know you mean only to protect me.” 

“I do ma’am, because I care.” 

“Thank you. I care for you as well.” She gave him a smile and he found himself returning it. 

They were silent again, exchanging glances before he spoke up again and asked, “Are you ready for tomorrow?” 

“I am nervous.” 

“Why?” 

“I’m afraid of saying the wrong words or falling as I walk.” 

“You have nothing to fear my Queen…I’ll be right beside you every step of the way.”

She gave him the same smile he’d received from her last night and his heart swelled and stuttered again. 

“I can always count on you, Lord M.” 

“I’ll never forsake you.” He vowed. 

 

                                                       XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX 

Beautiful. Elegant. Regal. Graceful. Strong. Confident. 

As he watched her be crowned he could not help but be moved by her commanding presence. She caught his eye often and looked to him for support and he all too willingly gave it to her. He knew there was a smile on his face and his eyes were gleaming with pride. 

_God save the Queen._

Everyone was chanting it and each time his heart beat louder in his chest. She looked to him again and he nodded encouragingly with a smile. He followed behind her as she went out to the people all too proud of her for standing tall and being brave despite how afraid she confessed to being. 

He met her back at the palace later on, wishing to have gone up to her right after being crowned but there was tradition and he had his place. The Queen too had a tradition to follow and no matter how much he wished to be with her he could not. 

“Ma’am.” He said making her aware of his presence. 

He found her giving Dash a bath in her dress and couldn’t help but shake his head. She could have ordered one of the servants to wash her dog, but instead, here was the Queen getting herself dirty for her pet. He found it endearing. 

“I wanted to congratulate you on your performance today. You were most regal.” 

She opened her mouth to speak and took a step forward but quickly they were interrupted. She gave him a look that said they would continue the conversation later on and she stepped back away from him. 

“Sir James Clark.” 

He stood silently off to the side and cringed. She had done it after all. She’d ordered an examination of Lady Flora and she had not been pregnant, but gravely ill. His mind raced with thoughts of what people would say. She’d only just been crowned Queen for a day and already a scandal would be exposed. He tried to give her a supportive smile that said despite his disappointment he would help her.

  

                                                  XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX 

He was stopped on his way from the House to the Palace to see Victoria, urgently rushing to see her, when her uncle crossed his path. 

“It’s unfortunate this business has gotten into the papers. My niece has been Queen for five minutes and already the crown is covered in scandal. A firm hand on the tiller. That’s what this country needs.” 

Angry by what he knew the Duke to be implying he replied, “And would that hand be your own Sir?” 

“Seems the obvious choice.” 

The obvious choice, in Melbourne’s opinion, was for the Duke to back off and let Victoria be Queen. No monarch was without mistakes, and Victoria was still yet young and inexperienced; she would make mistakes. She was only human and no one was perfect. While yes, he had tried to warn her, it was all he could do. Give counsel and try to guide her, that was his job. He wouldn’t use her feelings for him against her and force her into something she did not want to do. She’d been manipulated and controlled her whole life, he did not want to be another one who fell into that category. 

“But not the popular one I think. The Queen may have her difficulties at the moment, but the one thing that would rally the public to her support would be the prospect of being ruled by you.” 

He walked away and continued on to the palace where he found Victoria with her ladies playing cards. 

“Might I have a word with you, ma’am?” The news he had to tell her was grave. “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m afraid it couldn’t wait. Flora Hastings has taken a turn for the worse. 

“I should have listened when you told me to do nothing.” 

He knew there were people just in the next room but he reached out and took her hand to offer her comfort. 

“It’s always easier to give advice than it is to follow it, ma’am.” He rubbed circles on her hand with his thumb as she spoke. 

“I’m afraid.” She confessed with a sigh. 

“I know, ma’am. But I also know how much courage you have.” He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to it.

He watched her eyes close as she savored his kiss and he wished to properly comfort her. 

“Thank you Lord M.” 

“It’s my utmost pleasure, ma’am.” He replied, a small sparkle in his eye. “But now you must go and admit to Lady Flora that you were wrong. It will be hard, and I know you are afraid, but you were also afraid of the coronation and you were so brave then and preformed wonderfully.” 

“But you were with me then.” 

“I am with you now as well, ma’am. I’ll just be waiting for you here with your ladies.” He pressed another kiss to her hand before sending her off. 

When she returned he saw she was shaken and he smiled proudly at her. She’d done the right thing. She seemed to find comfort in his action and so he kept his smile until she sat down and was able to laugh again.

 

                                                  XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX 

He received a message from Harriet Sutherland saying that Lady Flora had died and the Queen was distressed. The troops were growing impatient waiting for her to come outside. He wondered if all her ladies seemed to see right through the both of them. He quickly went to her and found her sitting on a piano bench staring off at nothing.

“Good morning, ma’am.” 

She seemed frozen. He wondered if she had even heard him speak. He walked closer. 

“Come. There are three regiments waiting, I believe.” 

 Still she did not acknowledge him for a moment. 

“I can’t.” Came the weak reply. “I can’t do it.” He heard her voice break again. “Everything is ruined.” She whispered, tears beginning to fall. “It’s all my fault.” 

His heart broke and he sat beside her, taking one of her hands in his own again as he had done the night prior. For a moment he wondered what he could say to help her and the image of his son came to mind. He took a deep breath and rubbed circles on her hand, trying to gain his own strength. 

“I don’t believe I ever told you why I was late for the coronation ball.” She was staring blankly ahead, not having looked at him yet. “Did you know I had a son?” Her head tilted toward him a bit, finally having moved. “Augustus. And that day was his birthday.” He paused for a moment, trying to fight off the emotions rising within. “When Caro ran away, he became very afraid of the dark. He would only go to sleep if I was holding his hand, much like I am yours now. Funny thing is, I don’t think I was ever happier than on those nights when I was sitting there, feeling my little boy drift off. When he died, I thought there was no point to my existence.” 

He saw her head whip toward him now, “Lord M, how can you say that?” 

“I no longer feel that way, ma’am.” He met her eyes and gave a gentle, reassuring smile. “I thought I would never find any solace. But then I became your prime minister and I think, I hope, your friend. Of course, nothing can bring my boy back, but through you, I’ve been given a reason to continue.” 

She leaned forward and kissed him softly, bringing the hand he held up to his face. It was a brief kiss but she gently stroked his face. 

“Of course you are my friend. You are much more than that, dearest Lord M.” She kissed him again, chastely, just a brush of the lips but enough for the both of them in that moment. “Thank you, for telling me.” 

“Now, you must go out and do the same. You must smile and wave, and never let them know how hard it is to bear.” 

Victoria nodded and reached out for his hand again. “I shall try.” 

“I know you will.” He replied softly with a smile and a kiss to her forehead. “You must get ready now, ma’am. I shall see you as soon as I am able.” 

“Where are you going?” 

“I’m afraid the House needs me again, ma’am.” 

“I see. Thank you for coming to me first.” 

“Always, ma’am.” He replied with a nod and bow before walking out.

 

                                                  XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

When he finally got home that night he found a letter from Victoria waiting for him in his study. He smiled upon seeing it and opened it, anticipating she would tell him how it went after he’d had to leave. 

_I followed your advice as far as I was able._

_I waved, but I couldn’t smile._

_But I feel I shall smile in the future._

_With your help, and your care, Lord M._

_Victoria_  

He smiled at how she signed it and brought the letter up to his nose. He could faintly smell her perfume, and it brought him back to the night they first kissed. He read the letter through once more before setting it down to retire for the night. He would see Victoria in the morning and for the first time in a while they would get to be alone in her study without supervision. 

He loved her and all he wanted to do for the rest of his life was make her smile and laugh. He cherished every kiss, every stolen glance, every fleeting touch, he cherished it all.


	2. Missing You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victoria and Melbourne face their first obstacle and the turmoil that comes with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can, I would recommend watching the episodes before or after you read these first four chapters. You can see the small details I nitpicked and picked up on. I think it adds to the episodes when you are reading on another layer to them. Thank you all for your nice comments on the first chapter. Hope you're all just as captivated by the end of this second one.

Every day with Victoria was something new; and everyday their affections for one another grew in depth and passion. It was becoming harder to conceal but they both did their best to be mindful of their surroundings. On days like today however, he found it impossible not to look at her and admire her beauty. She was simply stunning and he loved that it was his job to be her prime minister and private secretary. 

As he helped her out of the carriage, he looked upon her lovingly, eyes displaying the adoration he held for her. She smiled and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze that could not be perceived by any onlooker.

As she walked past each minister he took note of how confident and steady she was now. When she first began her reign, she had relied solely on him, but now she was beginning to step out and preform her duties without his helping hand. His lips turned up in a smile as she walked past him through the door, pride swelling his heart. 

He’d been caught looking at his watch again. He truly felt like a husband being pressed by his wife as to why his attention was not solely on her. He smiled inwardly at the notion but just as quickly dismissed it. 

“Sorry, ma’am.” He offered an apologetic smile. “There’s an anti-slavery bill going through Parliament at the moment. I’m worried about its’ outcome.”

“Surely slavery was abolished a long time ago.”

“Well, it’s still legal in some of the Caribbean islands. The Tories have taken up the cause because they think they can bring down my government.” 

“Can’t I do something about it, as Queen?” The corner of his lips pulled up in a smile. She never ceased to amaze him.  “If it’s known that I support abolition…” 

“Well, I’m sure the Liberals would applaud your good sense, and the Tories would think I’ve filled your head with bunkum.” 

“And if I insist?”

He smiled again, pride filling him. “You cannot, ma’am. Advise, yes; encourage, certainly; even warn, but you cannot insist.” He informed. 

The woman in front of him seemed discouraged that there was nothing she could truly do to help. He applauded her ethics and sought to cheer her up. It meant a lot to him that she was wanting to act on this. They shared a moment of gazing into each other’s eyes, exchanging a silent conversation. 

_I want to help you._

_I know but you cannot. The gesture means more to me than you know._

_I want to kiss you._

_I want you too as well, but that you cannot do either. Not now, anyways. Later._

_Later then._ She promised with a sparkle in her eyes before Sir John and her Mama entered. 

He watched her demeanor change as he stepped off to the side and found it endearing how she could be so relaxed in his presence. She trusted him enough to let down her guard and now she was beginning to trust him with her heart as well. As she went off her separate way he was confronted again by the serpent himself, Sir John. 

“Surprised you’re not at the house, my lord. I hear the vote is… very close.” 

His heart plummeted. He had to leave now. He sought out Victoria and found her again with all the ministers preparing to speak. He hated to leave her so soon, but he could not in good conscience stay and do nothing to fight for his government. 

“Ma’am, sorry to desert you but I’m afraid I’m being called back to the house.” 

“Now?” She asked, and he could see her change again.

“Do not be afraid, you are more than capable of doing this without me. I’ve watched you grow more confident and sure of yourself. You can do this, the house needs me more at the moment; please forgive me.” 

“I forgive you. So long as you come to see me the moment you are done.” 

“I promise.” He replied with a nod of his head and a small smile before leaving. 

                                                 XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

His heart was heavy as he rode to the palace. With every clop of a hoof he got closer and his heart broke a little more. They had only just begun. They were still trying to figure out what was going on between them, still new to everything and already it was ending. How could he go back? How could they suddenly stop? She was the only thing that gave him life, and now she was being taken away. He shed some tears; better here than in front of her. How would he cope? How would she? He supposed she would get over the loss sooner than he. She would find someone else, someone who truly deserved her. Perhaps a prince who was as young as she; someone with whom she could start a life. Looking back on it, how had he really expected this to go? There was no way he could ever have a life with Victoria; he would only ever hold her back. He could not give her the things she would want. He was just an old fool who had disillusioned himself into thinking he could have a happy ending. Now, he’d been brought back down to earth, crashing like a fallen star with his passion blazing bright and destroying him from the inside out. He looked out the window and saw the palace. His heart stopped. Where once love had filled the space in his heart, dread and sorrow now filled him. 

Walking down the corridor his heart waged war. He fought back the torrent of emotion and stopped for a moment in front of the mirror to compose himself. He continued walking to the sitting room where he knew he would find her.

“Lord M!” Her voice and the joy bouncing off her small frame upon seeing him was enough to make him stop and his knees go weak. All his composure lost at the sight of her beauty and utter happiness to see him. 

“The others had given you up, but I knew you would come. I must show you a painting I did of Dash. I got him to sit still for just long enough.” 

He laughed at the image of Victoria trying to wrangle Dash into position. “That’s a feat in itself.” He said loud enough for everyone to hear then quieter said, “I must speak to you ma’am…in private.” His voice was hard as he tried to remain stoic. He noticed Victoria’s features change, watched the worry seep into her as she perceived something wrong with the way he was talking and acting. 

She looked behind her to her ladies and replied, “I shall be in my study and return in a few moments.” 

They walked in silence into her study and upon closing the door he felt an air of finality surround them as the words he was about to speak collected in his throat.  

“What is it? What’s wrong, Lord M?” 

“I must tell you, ma’am…” He began to stammer, his emotions seeping into his voice, “The Jamaica bill passed by only five votes this evening.” She stood not understanding and he swallowed hard, “And that means that I can no longer lead the Whigs in government.” 

“But if the bill passed, why should you resign?” She asked, tone softer than usual. He could hear her trying to comprehend the true meaning of what he was saying and trying to fight back the tears. 

“The Tories are like hyenas, ma’am. Once they scent a man is down, they circle, looking for weaknesses. The next vote we would certainly lose. I’d rather leave now.” 

“This cannot be. How can I…how will I…you said you would never forsake me; you promised. Do you really mean to do so?” Her voice cracked under the weight of her heart breaking. 

“I have no choice, ma’am.” He choked. 

“No. I…I cannot lose you.” She cried, her eyes beginning to well with tears. 

He took a step towards her and she stepped back. “No, no.” He paused in his advancement as she began to cry. She looked ready to fall and he rushed forward despite her protests and held her as her legs gave way. She collapsed in his arms sobbing. He felt his own eyes begin to prickle with tears. She gripped him tightly, staining his shirt as her face was buried in his chest. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He choked out holding her. 

“I cannot lose you, not now.” She cried holding him to her tighter. 

“I don’t have a choice; please believe me.” 

“You said you would never forsake me. You promised.” Her voice was so broken, despair clutching her heart like a vice. 

“This is all my fault, I’m sorry my Queen. I should never have engaged in this behavior with you. I should have protected you better.” 

“How can you say that? Do you regret it?” She asked aghast. 

“No. I could never regret the moments spent with you; but I was foolish to believe that I could ever truly be happy. I’m so sorry for causing you so much pain. It is best I leave now.” 

“No! No, please…please don’t go. Don’t leave me.” She whimpered, clawing his lapels in desperation. 

“Please…Victoria.” He whispered, tears falling from his eyes. He tilted her chin up and kissed her one last time. It was bittersweet and salty from their mingled tears. They both tried to commit it to memory, fearful, that this was indeed the end of their time together. With what little will he possessed he pulled back and sat Victoria down in a chair before walking away, unable to look back as he heard her begin to sob again. Her painful cries shattered his heart and he walked out unable to stop or hide the tears. 

“She needs you.” He managed to get out in a choked whisper, as he walked by Emma and Harriet.

“William, what happened?” Emma asked grabbing his arm and forcing him to look at her. She gasped upon seeing the full state of his distress. 

“Please, just…just go to her quickly. She cannot be alone right now.” Emma reluctantly let him go and he walked faster out of the palace, wanting to weep in peace and drink himself to sleep. 

                                                   XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

A letter came for him as he sat drinking his second glass of brandy that morning. He was contemplating drinking it straight from the bottle at this point. He was glad for the alcohol. He doubted he could have written to Victoria otherwise without falling apart.

 

_I strongly suggest, ma’am, that you ask the_

_Duke of Wellington to form a government._

_He is, of course, a Tory, but better the devil you know._

_Faithfully yours,_

_Lord M_

With the letter sent off he went back to his chair and swallowed down another gulp of the brandy. He hadn’t cried or drank so much since his son died. He resigned himself to his chair and looked out the window, wondering what Victoria was doing. He loved her so much he hadn’t foreseen his heart breaking so painfully.

                                                  XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

It was nearing evening when he heard the door open. Had he not been clear in saying he wanted to be alone? Filled with frustration and wanting to mourn alone he bellowed, “I’m not to be disturbed!” 

Glancing to his side to see which servant had disrupted him, he leapt out of his chair upon seeing Victoria. “Your Majesty!” 

He looked around and swept a hand through his hair feeling entirely uncomfortable. He was not properly dressed and his heart was beating a mile a minute. He hadn’t realized just how starved he’d been of her. She was such a sight for his sore eyes. He longed to reach out for her. Oh, how he had missed her this last day. 

“As you would not visit me, I decided to visit you.” 

“Forgive my disarray, I-I was not expecting visitors.”

“Evidently.” 

He laughed at her reply and heard her laugh as well. She truly was his sunshine and for a moment he forgot that he was no longer her Prime Minister, her anything really. Reality, all too quickly, came back in. 

“Please, at least…come. Come, sit. You can tell me what has brought you from the palace.” 

They were so close as he stood waiting for her to sit that he had to look down and avoid her gaze for fear of reaching out for her. 

“I saw the Duke of Wellington. He has refused to form a ministry, and says I must send for Sir Robert Peel.” 

“As I thought he might.” Melbourne sighed low and defeated.   

“I don’t want Sir Robert Peel. Lord M, how can you leave me to face this alone?” 

“Do you imagine that I want to leave you, ma’am? That I want to make you unhappy? To be the reason for your distress? There’s something more important here than my feelings, or even yours. You are the Queen of the greatest nation on Earth, one that elects its’ government and abides by the rule of law. Now, I don’t believe in much, as you know, but I do believe in the British constitution in all its’ tattered glory, and nothing, not even my devotion and affection for you, will stop me from upholding it.” 

“I see.” She spoke softly, defeat evident in her features. 

“Peel’s not such a bad fellow, really. Just remember, if he suggests anything that you don’t like the sound of, just ask him for a little time to consider. When in doubt, always delay.”

“And you will come for dinner tonight so I can tell you all about it?” 

“No, not tonight. Not until this matter is settled, and even then I cannot be at the palace as much as I have been.” 

“Why not? I think if you are not my Prime Minister, you are still my friend.” She asserted weakly. 

His gaze softened, his heart ached. “I think you must know why.” He rumbled, giving her a sympathetic gaze. “It would be too suspicious for me to be around you, and in private as well, now that I am no longer in power. A monarch cannot be seen to favour one political party. You must dine with Robert Peel. And he may ask you to make a few changes in the royal household. Harriet Sutherland and Emma Portman are both married to Whig ministers. He will probably want you to replace them with Tory ladies.” 

“But they are my friends.” She said incredulous. 

“I would ask the same in his position. A Prime Minister must feel he has the confidence of his monarch.” 

“I have already lost you Lord M…I cannot lose them as well.” Came the weak plea. 

He sighed and took her hands in his own. “I know this is not easy, for either of us, but you must be strong. You will grow stronger with time the longer I am gone. You will be happy again, ma’am. Do that for me…be happy.” 

“How can I when you are no longer by my side?” 

“I am sure you will find someone else, ma’am.”

“You are not replaceable, Lord M.” 

He smiled sadly and gave her hand a lingering kiss. “I’m afraid that is not true, ma’am. It’s time for you to leave now.” 

He escorted her to the door but not before she stopped and turned around to meet his gaze. “Tell me you are happy without me and I will go and not broach this further.” 

“I…I cannot say that, ma’am.” He replied, eyes downcast. 

She left without another word and his heart began to ache more at the loss of her presence. He had missed her dearly, and already he missed her again. 

                                                        XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

Not having the responsibilities of Prime Minister left him with too much time on his hands that he was no longer used to. It gave him time to be plagued with memories of Victoria, of her touch, and her kiss. The only time he wasn’t plagued was when someone else was talking to him, but even then, it only lasted for a moment as they inevitably wanted to know about the Queen. He adored Emma, and loved his friendship with her and her husband, but she was also the gossip type and it only made his heart hurt more. 

“So, what will you do now, William? Now that you don’t have to play nursemaid to your royal charge.” 

“I shall go to Brocket Hall to finish my commentary on the life of Saint Chrysostom.” It was something he’d been meaning to do and he could only hope the distance would help. 

“Little Vicky told Peel she won’t give up a single lady, and she doesn’t want him as Prime Minister.” 

Of course she had. Why did she have to make this hard on the both of them? “It’s not her decision to make!” Came his indignant outcry. 

“A message from the palace, my Lord.” His butler interrupted. “The Queen would like to see you at your earliest convenience.” 

Emma had too pleased of a smile on her face. If only she knew what was really going on. “That’s your summons. What are you going to tell her?” 

“I believe, Emma, the Queen knows the difference between duty and inclination.” He replied softly, heart burdened for the conversation that was to come. 

                                                        XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

Seeing Victoria again made it feel as though there was a knife in his lungs every time he tried to breathe. She was everything he wanted, but nothing he could have. These visits were doing nothing but making it worse for the both of them. At this point, he just wished for the pain to stop completely, and seeing Victoria only served to further injure.

Respectfully, he bowed and kissed her hand as was proper, but oh how he longed to feel the skin of her lips under his. 

“Dear Lord M. Don’t you think I’ve arranged things marvelously?” 

“You have been most resourceful, ma’am.” He said, careful of his words. 

“Sir Robert was so rough with me. He wanted to send all my ladies away and replace them with horrid Tory spies.” 

“Peel is um, he’s a fine politician and a man of principal, but I fear he has never understood the fairer sex.” 

“I have missed you.” 

He laughed. He missed her too, every second. “It’s been all of a day and a half.” He took a breath, trying to brace himself for the next few minutes. “And whilst I salute your tenacity, ma’am, I must tell you that if I were to return as Prime Minister, it would not be in your interest.” 

“Not in my interests? But it is all that I desire in the world.” She said incredulous, her eyes wide. 

“Well, you flatter me, ma’am, but I cannot allow you to jeopardize the position of the crown on my account.” He explained, unsure of how else he could make her understand the situation. 

“Allow me?” 

“Peel was perfectly within his rights to ask you to make some changes in your household.” 

“If I lose them, I will have no one! It’ll be like Kensington all over again. I’ve already lost you and I cannot bear it. Peel, does not understand this, but you do. I know how you are feeling because I feel it.” 

He softened for a moment. She was in as much pain as he, but she was refusing to accept it. He had to be the reasonable one. “He may not understand, ma’am, but he does deserve your support. A monarch must be seen to be impartial.” 

“I can’t help it if all my friends are Whigs!” 

“Perhaps that is because it is all you know.” 

“I don’t believe, if Sir Robert had been my Prime Minister from the first, I would ever have liked him half as much as I like you!” She argued vehemently. 

“All affections aside, ma’am, you are still young and inexperienced, and it is my job-, no, it is my duty, to see that you come to no harm. If I were to form a government now, critics would say that I had manipulated you for my own advantage.” 

“I am not a piece of clay to be molded by any hand!” She cried indignantly, frustrated with his words. 

“No, indeed, but you must understand that it does not matter who you like or do not like.” 

“How could you say that?! Surely my inclinations are paramount!” Her voice rose, distress seeping into her words which only upset him and caused his own voice to raise in response to her. 

“Your Majesty, surely you understand what is at stake here!” 

“Lord Melbourne, you forget yourself!” She yelled, taking him aback and reminding him of his own place. Her voice softened when asking, “Don’t you want to be my Prime Minister?” 

“More than anything, ma’am, but…not in these circumstances. And I will not allow my own affections to put you at risk. The relationship between crown and Parliament is a sacred one, and I will not allow you to put it in danger for the benefit our inclinations.” 

He left quickly, knowing if he were to stay longer tears would well up in his eyes. He loved her and her will to fight for them, but it was clouding her better judgement and despite his own heart, he had to do what was right for them both and the country.

                                                        XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

It was Victoria’s birthday, she was turning nineteen now, and he wished to experience it with her. He hoped she was enjoying it despite all the pain and heartache she was going through. She had Emma and Harriet around to help ease her burden, and he was grateful for their friendship with Victoria, but he wasn’t sure even they could keep her in high spirits today when he inevitably did not show. He pondered briefly what to send her, and decided to give something that had meaning to him. He grabbed the telescope sitting on his desk and boxed it up. He’d spent many nights looking to the stars for comfort after Caro had an affair. He hoped she too could find comfort in them, knowing she was not alone and was surrounded by so many people who were looking at the same stars she was. He wrote a quick note to put in the box as well.

 

_Happy Birthday, ma’am._

_Though we may be apart,_

_The stars we look at are the same._

_They unite even the furthest of hearts;_

_I think you would benefit greatly from studying them._

_Faithfully Yours,_

_Lord M_

He gave the parcel to his messenger before isolating himself within the library with more brandy, trying not to let the memories overcome him. He dozed off later in a brandy haze and dreamed of Victoria. 

                                                         XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

It was the day Victoria’s portrait was to be revealed to all members of the House; everyone was present awaiting the Queen’s arrival with murmurs of excited anticipation. He stood off to the side by a window, in an attempt to blend in and stay unseen. Wellington, however, came up to him despite his valiant attempts. Melbourne just wanted to get through the event and go back home to his library, where he could indulge in brandy again and try to cope with once again seeing Victoria, and not being allowed to hold her. 

“This situation is getting out of hand, Melbourne. Cumberland thinks the little Queen listens to voices in her head, like her grandfather. If he’s right, we’ll have to appoint a regent. Must have someone sensible at the heart of things.” 

Righteous anger began to rise within him. Perhaps the Queen had been right to go to such lengths to keep Robert Peel at bay. If they had been brought to power in government, the Queen may have already been stripped of her rightful crown by yet another man looking to control her. “You cannot mean that, sir.” 

“Perhaps not. But I am not the man to put those rumors to rest…Melbourne.” The Duke winked, and a light switched on within Melbourne. The Duke was giving him reason within that of the sake of the country to stay in power, to return to Victoria. His heart soared. Could this really be? He smiled at the thought of remaining by Victoria, restoring their relationship, and mending their broken hearts. They could be together again. 

Victoria’s arrival was announced and he stood proudly, heart blossoming once again after being trampled on and left in the cold for so long. He remained in the corner off to the side of the portrait. He watched as she tried to pull down the heavy drape on her own and struggled due to her limited stature. 

He walked over to her side with graceful restraint and asked quietly, “May I be of assistance, ma’am?” 

“I should be most grateful. It seems I can’t manage unaided.” She replied in turn, just as quietly, her voice laced with disappointment and heartache. 

“Then it will be my pleasure to serve you, ma’am.” His eyes twinkled just a moment as she met his eyes. 

“Do you mean…” 

“If you do me the honour of asking me to form a ministry, ma’am, I would accept.” 

The dark cloud that seemed to have been hovering over her instantly dissipated, and her eyes sparked to life as her lips pulled up in a smile. He did the same and this time, together, they pulled the cord and the drape fell. It felt symbolic to him; the drape being the circumstances that had originally forced them apart. Apart, they could not manage, but together, they could do anything; and together they would do it despite the circumstances wanting to keep them apart. Maybe things would not always be perfect, but now he was certain that it was in Victoria’s best interest for him to return, as he at least had her interests at the forefront of his mind, rather than the power he could gain from her. As the drape fell and revealed her portrait the energy from everyone filled them both and added to the joy they both were thriving on. 

“No picture could truly do you justice, ma’am, but this comes close.” They shared a smile and seeing her happy made his heart happy. Knowing he was the one who once again made her happy…it helped his heart beat. She laughed, and he assumed it was from overwhelming happiness, because he too felt it crackling in the air surrounding them. 

                                                        XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

He met her at the palace that night for dinner, and the shift in mood was palpable. He kept noticing Victoria glancing at him every so often and occasionally they caught each other’s gaze and tried not to smile with all the company present. They needed a moment alone but there had been no time for them to sneak away. After dinner, she was brought straight to playing games but he saw her longing gaze, and he was sure his eyes had the same look. 

Lord Alfred came up beside him and he tried to break his gaze away from Victoria only able to give the man a fleeting glance. “So young. And with such responsibilities. She should not have to bear them alone.” 

Once again, Victoria’s eyes met his, and he tried to withhold a smile. 

“But you do know your days are numbered, don’t you?”

“Yes, of course. Any Prime Minister knows that.” He answered, swallowing back the melancholy that threatened to take over his cheery disposition. 

“I mean that the Queen must marry.” 

The word felt like a sharp knife to his heart. He had only just gotten her back; he didn’t want to think of reality again. He didn’t want to think of his Victoria being in someone else’s arms, not now at least. 

“Soon. And then…” 

He released a pained breath and replied, “Yes. Then she will look to her husband, not to me.” She smiled at him again, and softly he finished saying, “I know.” 

He tried to slip out unnoticed to the balcony for some air, to repel the thoughts that Lord Alfred had implanted in his mind. He didn’t want to think of losing her again when he only just now got her back. He willed the ache to go away as he stood outside, gazing up at the stars, begging them for solace. 

“I thought I might find you here.” 

He turned around in surprise at the voice, and found Victoria there smiling softly at him. 

“I…needed some air.” He replied, forcing a smile, but genuinely glad to see her. 

“What troubles you?” 

“It’s…it’s nothing, ma’am, just some silly thoughts.” 

“I know this face my Lord; I know there is something more troubling you.” She brushed a hand through his hair and held it on the side of his face. “Tell me what ails you.” She pleaded. 

He sighed and closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. “Marriage…ma’am. Lord Alfred made mention of how you will be expected to marry soon.” 

“And that troubles you?” She asked curiously. 

“What troubles me, is the thought that soon it will not be me who makes you happy.” 

“Oh my dear Lord M, how could you think that?” 

“Because it is true, ma’am. The country will be looking to you to marry a prince of some noble King and I…I will no longer be in your affections.” He confessed, seeing the way their lives would play out before him in his mind’s eye. It was so bleak and pained him in a way that made it hard to breathe. 

“Please do not think that Lord M, for I have no desire to marry, or give you up. I only just got you back. I do not think I could bear to have you ripped away from me again so soon.” 

“Nor I, ma’am. It was unbearable.” 

“Then why did you resist my efforts before today?” She asked simultaneously frustrated and confused. 

“I…I believed it to be the right thing to do, no matter how I feel about you. But then it was revealed to me that should Sir Robert form a government, they would look to your Uncle for a regency, and I could not let another man manipulate power for himself at your expense.” 

“I am in your debt then Lord M, for saving me…again.” 

“It’s my greatest pleasure, ma’am.” He replied, eyes now smiling as well as his lips. 

“My greatest pleasure is you by my side, whispering in my ear how much you care for me, and teaching me the joys of your kiss.” 

He felt himself smile wider. “I enjoy that as well.” 

“I have missed you so much.” She confessed taking his hand from the railing and holding it tightly in her own, for fear he would slip away again. 

“I’ve missed you as well.” 

“We don’t have much time left I’m afraid. I snuck away saying I was going to the bathroom.” 

He felt laughter bubble up within and burst forth. “Most clever of you, ma’am.”

“Let’s not waste more time talking, we have tomorrow for such things.” 

“Indeed.” He replied before she pushed herself up on tip toes to capture his lips. He held her waist and rejoiced at her touch. He’d been starved of her and desperately craved more. She hungrily kissed him, eager to restore what had been broken between them. A moment later she pulled back and he found himself groaning, reaching out to kiss her again. He heard her laugh and opened his eyes to find her smiling at him. 

“I’m afraid I’ve no more time left, my dear.” 

“I shall see you tomorrow then.” He managed to get out, voice cracked. 

“I count on it.” She replied placing a kiss to his forehead. “Sleep well, my dear.” 

“And you as well, ma’am. Sweet dreams.” 

“I’ll look to the stars tonight and think of you.” She promised, a content smile on her face as she walked to the door. 

“Goodnight… Victoria.” He smiled, tentatively testing out her name on his tongue. 

“Goodnight, William.” She echoed, before leaving him on the balcony. He stood out a minute more to avoid suspicion and found he could not stop smiling. She had replaced his foul mood and replenished his soul with tender kisses that were like honey to his lips. He loved Victoria Alexandrina and he would not for a moment let it fade.

 

                                                    XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX


	3. Rooks For Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following episode three, except this time... a marriage happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the love. Always appreciated :)

Their days together flowed naturally as they worked side by side, day and night, sharing stolen kisses and longing glances between each event. No one seemed to be any the wiser, and they applauded themselves at how careful they were being while falling so madly in love. Their time together was precious and gave breath to their beings. The more time went on the deeper they felt, the more their bond grew. They were almost inseparable and yet to the outside world they were nothing more than Minister and Queen. If only the people knew of the way they kissed each other in dark rooms and amid the shadows. They took walks in the garden together, holding hands when out of sight and sharing furtive glances over meals. Their love was blossoming, and yet neither had declared that love despite knowing what the other felt. 

They were taking a walk around the corridors, looking at the paintings hung on the walls and discussing how well she’d spoken yesterday. 

“How was I yesterday, Lord M? I was trying so hard not to look at my Uncle Cumberland. He was glaring at me so ferociously I believe he was trying to put me off.” 

They were entirely comfortable around each other now that they didn’t need to have secret times to meet. Talking about even the most mundane things there was an atmosphere of flirtation about them that was addicting. 

“It’s very likely, ma’am.” 

“I am plagued by uncles. My mother’s brother, Leopold, has written to say he’s coming to visit.” 

“And how delighted you look at the prospect.” He teased good naturedly. 

She smirked and answered, “He wants to lecture me on how it is my duty to get married.” 

“Not all Queens marry, ma’am.” He replied looking to Queen Elizabeth. 

“Do you think she was lonely?” 

“I believe she found companions.” He spoke aloud but silently said to her with his eyes, _Like you and I._

“Well, I have no intention of marrying at present, as I told you once before.” She glanced at him, assuring with her gaze that she was content with the way things were now. “I have not seen so many happy marriages.” 

“Neither have I, ma’am…. Neither have I.” He agreed, reflecting on the outcome of his own.

They were interrupted by Lehzen and upon learning he was being summoned elsewhere, neither were truly surprised. He smiled apologetically, but she knew it was just a part of the life they had to endure. He had a duty to the country that could not be ignored. She let him leave with an encouraging smile to go and be the man she’d fallen for. Melbourne felt his heart enlarge in capacity to love her more in response.

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He returned to the palace later that night and picked things up with Victoria exactly where they’d left off. They took a walk around the halls, this time with Dash for company, before dinner was to be served. He was not particularly looking forward to the added company of King Leopold. 

“I remember Leopold being most ambitious for the Coburgs.” 

“Nothing has changed. He has a plan to marry me to my cousin Albert.” He could hear the disdain and annoyance in her voice and it made him happy. He could not help but feel a twinge of jealousy spring up at the thought of Albert with Victoria. 

“I do not think marriage between first cousins is wise, ma’am.” 

“There is no need to look so worried, Lord M. I told him it would never do. Besides…I’m quite content with you.” She assured, a smile on her face as she put Dash down. 

“While I’m pleased to hear that, ma’am, if I seem concerned it is not on account of your Uncle Leopold…not entirely anyway. I fear there has been an uprising in Wales by a group calling themselves Chartists.” 

“What a strange name.” 

“Well, so called because they’ve written a charter demanding universal suffrage, annual elections, a secret ballot, and even payment for MPs. Their ideas are impossible, of course, but they have much support among a certain class.” 

“But you always tell me the British are not a revolutionary people.” 

“I don’t believe they are. But this year’s harvest failed, and when people are hungry, they fancy themselves radicals. You, your safety, and your happiness are the only things that disturb my peace of mind.” 

“And you will come with me to the opera tonight? I do not think I can bear an evening alone with Uncle Leopold.” 

“You forget the Russian Grand Duke will also be there. You seemed to enjoy his company very much at the coronation ball.” 

“You sound jealous. He dances well enough, but he’s no substitute for you, Lord M.” Victoria spoke with a glint in her eyes. 

“You flatter me, ma’am. And like all men, I am susceptible to flattery.” 

“Oh but I do not flatter, I speak the truth. It is what I feel in my heart.” She combatted, a smile playing on her lips. 

He returned the smile and drew closer to her. “I shall be there tonight, but I fear in exchange for less time with you at present. There are matters to go over at Dover House that are in need of my immediate attention.” 

Victoria stood from her seat. “Then I must properly say goodbye, it’s been so long since last we kissed.”

He laughed, “It’s been all of day, but yes, I agree. It has been too long.” 

She smiled and pushed herself up on tip-toes; he bent down the rest of the way, holding her by her waist. Their kisses were gentle and tender now as time went on. Every so often passion re-invigorated their bones and set them ablaze, but often their kisses were a comfort, a regular indulgence that helped to set them at ease when there were times they would be apart for longer periods than was bearable without such a comfort. After a few slower, languid kisses they parted and exchanged a conversation with their eyes. Words of love were shared that had yet to be affirmed with words. 

“I shall see you this evening then, ma’am. I’m sure your Uncle will be quite happy to have me miss dinner.” His tone was gentle and soothing. 

“Yes, I am sure he will. I shall bate my breath in anticipation for when I see you again.” Victoria placed a hand on his face and held it there, smiling for a moment before dropping her hand to let him leave. 

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He’d never found the opera as engaging as Victoria always seemed to, but it brought her such joy that he found himself enjoying it as well through her. Just being able to be in her presence was satisfaction enough for him now that they were together. His love for her burned brightly, but he no longer found himself on edge whenever he was around her. Now, there was a comfortable, natural aura that had settled between them that he’d never experienced with someone else. He was comfortable enough in the presence of his friends, but with Victoria things flowed between them with such ease that it brought a calmness with it. He was never more at peace than in moments like this where she would look to him and catch his gaze and exchange affection. 

There were others around him but he suspected Emma and Harriet had their own suspicions about what was really going on between him and Victoria. Then, of course, her Uncle, cousin, and Grand Duke were present, but they were careful and she knew not to interact too heavily with him. Their relationship felt as natural as breathing now and they’d become good with maintaining social boundaries that were required of them when in public view. 

The opera ended all too soon and he bid her goodnight as he helped her into the carriage with her Uncle. She gave him a smile he understood before saying goodnight. 

 _A truly good night would end with me next to you._ He thought before banishing it quickly. 

They could never have that kind of relationship and it was folly to even entertain such thoughts. He rode back to his home and slept peacefully, dreaming, as he often did, of Victoria.

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He was with her again first thing in the morning where they rode out as per usual. They were never alone on the rides but there was enough of a distance that they could at least speak freely without fear of being overheard. They’d started with the usual questions of ‘how did you sleep’ and the usual ‘I missed you’ before really talking.

“Did you enjoy _Luchia_ , last night?”

“It’s not Mozart, ma’am.” He replied respectfully. “But I did not go because I’m fond of it, rather, you asked and I cannot pass up any excuse to be in your company. And you? You seemed well attended.”

“The Grand Duke is amusing. It is refreshing to have someone who understands the cares of my position. He is a good ally to have. But he’s too foreign to be entirely comfortable.” 

“And Prince George?” 

“He’s so pleased with himself.” 

Melbourne laughed knowing it was utterly true. “Oh, well, perhaps. But I think he would like to be a candidate for your hand.”

Victoria smirked and he smiled at her amusement. 

“An English marriage would be very popular.” He advocated. 

“An English marriage?” He could see the wheels turning in her head and wondered what was going through her mind at the moment. 

“Would go down very well.” Briefly the thought of marrying Victoria entered his mind again and it pulled his lips up in a small smile. It was a foolish dream but one his heart wanted nonetheless. 

“I shall bear that in mind, Lord M.” 

The rest of their ride they talked of silly things such as their favourite time of day, favourite season, and what they enjoyed most on a day off. 

They worked hard after riding until it came time for the ceremony. They rode separately, much to their displeasure, but it was yet another burden they had to bear if they were to maintain the secret of their companionship. Standing by her side once more at the ceremony things felt right. 

“Why are there so many soldiers, Lord M?” 

“I’m afraid there may be some disturbance from the Chartists, ma’am. I asked them here to ensure your safety. Since Newport, the movement has grown in strength.”

“Do chartists wear bonnets?” She inquired teasingly. “Because there are a great many of them out there today.” 

“Some Chartists do believe that women should have the vote, ma’am.” 

“Now you are teasing me.” 

She smiled and he found himself doing the same. Seeing her smile always made him smile, it was what he longed to do every day. 

“It’s time, ma’am.” He said with an encouraging nod. She nodded back and stepped forward as he stepped back keeping to her side so she could glance over her shoulder and see him there.

Her voice was calm and genuine as she spoke, pronunciation eloquent and spotless. Not for the first time he realized just how great of an orator she was. It was one of her greatest assets. He watched on with pride and awe as she delivered her commemoration speech. He found himself amused by the Duke and George trying to compete for her hand, when in all honesty the only hand she would ask for help would be his own. But in this she did not need his help. She was confident and sure of herself, and that alone made him proud. She truly had come a long way from first being Queen. 

His body tensed at the first shout and he moved to block Victoria from any attack.

“Lord Alfred, I believe the Queen is leaving. Will you escort her and the Duchess?” 

“With pleasure.” 

She looked to him worriedly and he gave her an assuring nod and promised her with a look that he would be fine. He noticed her continue to look back and he tried to tell her with a look not to worry. 

“Lord Melbourne, may I have a word?” 

“Can it wait?” He asked with annoyance that Leopold wanted to talk now while the Queen was in possible danger. His mind was solely focused on making sure she was safely in her carriage and leaving with no injury or assault. 

“I think not. I wish to talk to you about my niece.” 

“Indeed?” He steeled himself, inwardly knowing already the conversation the King was ready to start. 

“You must admit, I think, that the sooner she is married, the better. Her reign so far has been troubled. A husband, children, could steady her giddiness.” 

“I do not see the urgency for her to marry. It is more important, I think, that she chooses wisely.” 

“There could be no better choice than her cousin Albert. He takes after me in so many ways,” Melbourne fought the urge to roll his eyes. “And he is of course the same age as her.”

This time he could not contain all his amusement as it found its’ way to his eyebrows. Ah, so this wasn’t just about marrying her off, it was about him. They had been so careful, had the King seen or heard something or was it just the rumors of her being called Mrs. Melbourne? He stayed silent on the matter so as not to give himself away and instead commented on Albert. 

“I do not believe she took to him the last time they met.” 

“Victoria will change her mind,” He wanted to laugh in the man’s face. Did he know his niece? When Victoria set her mind, it was near impossible to change. “But, only I think if she understands that such a marriage is in her best interest. I believe, my lord, you could persuade her of that.” 

He could, and would do nothing of the sort. Duty be damned. He was in love and he would not force her to consider a marriage she was adamantly against. 

“I think you exaggerate my influence, sir.” 

“I have seen the way my niece looks at you.”

He kept his face straight until the King walked away but quickly began thinking of ways to further conceal their relationship. Victoria had given herself away. 

He spent the rest of the day away from the Palace but sent word to Victoria assuring her he was unharmed but unable to dine with her that night. That night as he was in his library sitting on the couch he found himself plagued even more so with thoughts of marrying Victoria. He appeared unable to even stop his mind now. His imagination was running away with fairytale endings of being together and his heart ached; but what he had now with her was better than having nothing and being miserable and apart. He looked out at the sky, at the star they one night had designated as theirs, and wondered if she was looking at it too. 

Like the star that gave off light and heat, Victoria was the star of his life. Every time he was with her she gave light that guided his path and a heat that warmed his heart on the coldest of nights. Her affection for him burned consistent like the star. While some days his doubt clouded his better judgement, he could always look to the star and find it unchanged, unmoved, like Victoria’s affection for him. He still found himself wondering some days if it was all just a dream. If one day he would wake up and find he’d been ill and asleep for months. It just meant he took nothing for granted. Every moment, every kiss, every look was a blessing and he was counting them. 

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The next morning, he sent a letter to the palace apologizing to Victoria and telling her that he had some business to attend to at Brocket Hall, but he would see her again in a day’s time. Unbeknownst to both him and Victoria, the letter had been intercepted by her uncle who immediately disposed of it. 

He was sitting on the stone statue watching his beloved birds, pondering on his future with Victoria, when he heard a rustling that wasn’t caused from the wind. He glanced to the side and looked back again for a second time to confirm what his brain told him his eyes had seen. Victoria.

Surprised by her sudden appearance and equally amused by her attempt at disguise he teased her. 

“Oh, it is you, ma’am. I couldn’t tell.” There was a cheeky smile on his face that betrayed his delight at seeing her. 

“The butler said you would be here.” 

“I come here for the rooks. They’re sociable animals. A gathering like this is called a parliament.” He informed, all too happy to share with her his knowledge of the bird. “Altogether more civilized than their human equivalent.” He couldn’t help but quip. 

She smiled at the information briefly but her smile was quickly replaced with a tight line. He watched as she began to wring her hands. “I’m sorry to disturb you, Lord M. But I had to talk to you.” 

“You did not disturb me, merely surprised me. Brocket Hall is honoured nonetheless, ma’am.” 

“I’ve come here incognito, of course.”

“Of course. But your presence cannot be entirely disguised.” He teased with a smile, trying to lighten the tense mood. 

A moment of silence passed between them and he took hold of it to study her face, committing all of it to memory. 

“Yesterday, I realized something.” She began softly. 

“Yes, ma’am?” He asked all too curious, gravitating closer to her. 

“I think perhaps now, I’m speaking as a woman and not as a Queen.” 

He felt his heart beat faster, anxious for the words that would follow and swallowed the lump in his throat. Had she realized that she deserves so much better than hiding with him? That she could have more happiness than he could give?

“At the beginning, I thought that you were the father I never had. But now I feel- no, I _know_ …with utmost conviction, that you are the only companion I could ever desire. I…I love you, William.” 

His heart flipped and broke free from his chest, soaring up amongst the clouds with the rooks. A smile occupied his face and he took her hand delicately in his. 

“Did you know that rooks mate for life? Every year, they build their nest together, renewing all those little civilities that make a marriage sparkle. I think we could learn much from them. If I had just spent more time watching the rooks, my wife would have felt more attended to.” 

“She should never have left you.” Victoria cut in, passion and conviction strong in her voice. “I would never do such a thing.” 

“No. No, I don’t believe you would. But if she had not…I would not be here with you today; having experienced such freedom and affection, having felt your love and being able to give you my love as well. I believe when you give your heart, you give it without hesitation.” 

“I think you have it already my love. You have always had it. ” 

“I love you, Victoria. For you see…like a rook, I mate for life.” 

He watched her eyes well with happy tears before she surged forward and kissed him with reckless abandon like never before. She was in love, he was in love, and in that single moment nothing else mattered. 

Victoria pulled back giggling again and rest her forehead against his. “So, are we rooks then?” 

“Yes, I am whatever you want me to be.” 

“My husband.” She said softly, meeting his eyes. 

His breath caught and he inhaled shakily. “I…I don’t think that possible in our position, ma’am.” 

“With everyone pressuring me to marry, it made me realize that when I thought of marriage the only person I could picture being my husband…is you, Lord M. There is no other for me, only you.” 

He took her hand and held it gently in both of his, rubbing circles over her hand. “As deeply as I love you, and as much as my heart yearns for such a thing, we can never marry.” 

“But you said yourself an English marriage would be received well. Are you not English?” She asked confused. 

“I am, ma’am, but I am a mere Viscount, a man who is not of noble blood and certainly not esteemed enough in the eyes of the public. To marry me would bring shame on yourself.” 

“I see.” He could tell her heart was now downcast and he wished he could take away the pain, but no matter his fantasy and his heart’s desire that’s all it could ever be…a fantasy. She was silent for a moment before speaking again. 

“Marriage, though a sacred institution, is a matter of the mind is it not? I mean that it is all dictated in the way one behaves and the faithfulness of that person. Can we not yet be married in heart and soul without being married in church?” 

He applauded her thinking and her perspective. She was so creative to come up with a solution that would change their relationship without truly hurting her image. 

“It is an idea, ma’am. One I don’t believe anyone else has ever reflected quite so deeply upon.”

“Then it is settled. Lord Melbourne…William, will you marry me with all your heart, soul, and mind?” 

He smiled brightly and answered, “It would be my greatest pleasure and honour in life, Victoria.” 

“Then by the power and authority granted to me by the church and state, I declare us husband and wife from this day forth.”

Melbourne found his heart rejoicing and was overwhelmed with happiness at the words spoken from her. She shared his smile and when he remained unmoving she laughed. 

“Are you going to kiss me?” She asked expectantly. 

He chuckled and brought a hand to her face, drawing her closer to him until their lips met in a kiss that they both understood to be symbolic of their binding marriage. It wouldn’t be a smooth or easy path by any means, but it was one they were both willing to journey on so long as the other was always by their side. 

                                                     XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

Elizabeth and Leicester. He had yet to tell her the significance of the two, but Victoria was set on portraying herself as unavailable to those in public. He found her choice of Elizabeth as a perfect opportunity to dress as a companion and tell her of the happiness both had despite not being married in public. Unbeknownst to anyone though, they were indeed married in all the ways that mattered. They were emotionally unavailable to anyone else, even though for the sake of propriety, the Queen had to put up the pretense as being very much unattached. If only they knew the depth of feeling behind that dress. 

He crept in and stayed against the back wall as per usual, immediately seeking out Victoria with his eyes. He found her dancing with the Grand Duke and smiled seeing her wear the orchids. He hadn’t explained what the flower meant but knew she would be told by either Emma or Harriet. As he watched her dance just seconds after getting comfortable by the wall Emma approached him. 

“I hope the Queen has saved a dance for you.” 

He wished to boast and reply with, ‘ _I should hope so, I am her husband after all_.’ But instead he used reason and answered, “She’s busy tonight.” 

“She will have to marry one day, William.” 

 _She already did. She chose me._ “Yes, she will. I just hope her husband will appreciate her.” 

He walked away before his pride won over reason and sensibility, and sought out a drink. He stayed to the edges of the room for a while, fighting the urge to dance with Victoria. There was a new unexplored layer of their relationship that once more had him desperate to be near her. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her; how as her husband he would cherish her, honour her, and love every part of her. He wanted to kiss her and hold her close. He fought so hard against all the emotions and wondered if Victoria was struggling to keep her composure as well. He constrained himself for the better part of an hour before giving in. The need was too great. As he made his way to find her he overheard Prince George insulting her. As her husband, he wanted to lash out, defend her honour, but knew he could do no such thing and it pained him deeply. He saw how she tried to play it off and feign calmness but unlike everyone else he knew it’d hurt her. He wanted to comfort her and so he did the only thing he could do. 

“May I have the pleasure, ma’am?” 

“I think this one is free.” 

“Have you danced with George yet?”

“He wants to dance with the Queen, not necessarily with me.” 

“Then he’s more of a fool than I suspected. Do not listen to his comments, ma’am. You are more royal in the way you act than he could ever be.” 

“Thank you.” She said quietly, giving him a small smile. 

“You are still every inch a Queen to me.” He watched how her eyes came to life and it made him smile knowing he held such power over her heart.

“I wasn’t sure if I would dance with you tonight.” She confessed. 

“It would be unkind for Elizabeth to refuse her Leicester.”

“Leicester was her companion?” 

“He was. He did have a wife, but then she died.” 

“But even though he was free, they never married?” 

“I think both he and the Queen understood they were not in a position to marry publicly…whatever their inclination.” 

He watched understanding flow through her brilliant iris’ and he began to slow their dancing until they came to a stop. He bowed and kissed her hand before retreating, keeping his eyes locked with hers as he backed away. 

Melbourne went to grab a glass of brandy before sticking to the walls again to simply watch Victoria. If he was honest, he enjoyed it just as much as dancing with her. 

“I believe my niece made an impromptu visit to Brocket Hall.” The sudden voice jolted him from his thoughts and startled him. He took notice of King Leopold and inwardly groaned. He didn’t feel like having yet another conversation about Victoria needing to marry. He was worried he would out of spite tell the King that Victoria was already married and had chosen himself and she didn’t want someone like Albert.

“You are very well informed, sir.” He spoke instead, hoping his usual ease of manner would stay about. 

“It seemed to leave her in low spirits. Perhaps she did not get what she wanted.”

 _Oh, she got what she wanted. She wanted me and I gave myself to her wholeheartedly._ “I could not say.” 

“You should know that I have sent for my nephew Albert.” 

“Without the Queen’s permission?” He found himself now on edge and upset. He was sure his body tensed as he moved to confront her Uncle. 

“The sooner he comes, the better. A young girl’s head can be turned so easily.” 

He locked his jaw fighting not to say anything, to stay silent. He had never taken up offense so easily before in his life, but it seemed the moment he and Victoria both consciously said, ‘I do’, something within him sparked and all he wanted was for the world to know he was the one who held Victoria’s precious heart. He wanted to scream to the world how deeply he loved her and yet his duty . He kept him silent as the rocks. He knew what he’d agreed to when he told Victoria ‘yes’, yet still he was not prepared for such a passion to ignite and wage war for control over his tongue. He was gentle in manner with everything except the topic of marrying Victoria off to her cousin. He stepped out from the ball without another word, this time going to the balcony that they had shared so many kisses on. It always helped calm him and clear his mind. He was there staring up at the sky for a considerable time, renewing his strength of will and mind for the uphill battle to come. Albert was coming and there was nothing he, nor Victoria, could do to prevent that. 

“Why in God’s name is my husband out here freezing on the balcony, when there is a ball going on inside?”

He smiled, not even surprised Victoria had come looking for him, heart filling with pride at hearing her call him husband. Melbourne turned around to face her, his mood instantly improved. 

“I’m sorry my love, I needed the air to help clear my thoughts.” 

“This seems to be becoming a habit of yours William.” She spoke, a hint of worry in her tone. 

“I cannot help it that I find comfort and clarity out here where so many memories have been made.” He defended, taking her hand in his own. 

“What troubles you tonight?” 

“I find I am having to use more restraint than usual now when your uncle or someone else mentions marriage. I have never been a man of war, that has always been the Duke of Wellington; yet…I find myself ready to take up arms to fight those who persist in telling me you must marry soon. I so wish to yell at them that you are married, that you chose me above everyone else, yet I know to do so would be treason and bring trouble for your reign.” 

Victoria smiled and brought his hand up to her lips. “Take heart dearest William. It will not always be this way. They will see soon enough that I have no interest to marry who they wish me to.” 

“I’m afraid that it may not be so easy. I’ve just heard from your Uncle himself he has sent for Albert.” 

“Against my express wishes?! Oh, the nerve of them all!” She cried, her eyes displaying her anger with a raw intensity he’d seen only once before. 

“I came out here after I heard.” 

“Then we shall just have to play their game better than they do. They will quickly realize calling for Albert was a mistake. The only man I will ever love is in front of me and I proudly call him my husband.” 

His eyes sparked at her words and he leant forward to kiss her. She received it happily and moved her hand to his face, caressing him firmly. With fervor, she returned his kiss moving her hand from his face into his hair. A soft moan came from him and it spurred her on as he deepened their kiss. He was the one to break away in need of air. There was a fire burning in his eyes that was simultaneously consuming his soul. He wanted all of her, wanted to fully give himself to her as only a husband could. Instead, she pulled away putting some distance between them. 

“I must be getting back inside. My guests, I imagine, are quite suspicious of my prolonged sudden disappearance.” She informed, frightened of the fire she’d felt and seen reflected in him. 

He only nodded, words failing him as he was flushed with desire for her in a new way. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you as well.” He answered with a gentle smile. 

She pecked his lips, her eyes filled with adoration and that same desire he felt. Quickly, she exited through the doors and left him to try and cool down in the chilly autumn air. She would be the death of his sanity. 

                                                        XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

She never ceased to stop amazing him. Her compassion was something to be admired and not for the first time he found himself falling for her all over again. 

“Such things may have been necessary in the reign of Elizabeth, but I would like my reign to be a merciful one.” 

The woman in front of him was extraordinary. How had he been so lucky?  “Then you must know, ma’am, that as Queen, you may commute their sentences. Instead of being executed, they would be transported to Australia.” 

“In that case, I should like to exercise my right.” 

“You’re sure, ma’am?” 

“Quite sure.” 

They shared a smile and he tried to withhold his tongue from proclaiming the amazing woman and Queen she was. There were people near and they had to be on their guard more than ever with King Leopold around. 

“Is that all, ma’am?” 

“That is all. Thank you, Lord M. I expect to see you tonight for dinner.” 

“I shall be here, ma’am.” 

“Splendid. I look forward to it.” She dismissed him with her eyes a glow, her spirit lifted and joyous. He returned her smile before leaving, heart swollen with pride for his wife. 

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“Elizabeth seems to have become something of a favourite, ma’am.” 

“I have decided to follow her example and reign alone.” She looked to Melbourne and with a mischievous look added, “With companions, perhaps.” 

“Really, ma’am?” 

There were people just in the room next to them, keeping them from speaking freely, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t speak with their eyes. 

“Have you told your Coburg cousins? I hear the brothers have departed for these shores.” 

“I did not ask them to.” He could see she was still furious her uncle had sent for them.

“Nevertheless, they are coming.” 

“I cannot believe Uncle Leopold sent for them against my express instructions.” She shook her head and he wished to be able to cheer her up. “Why doesn’t he understand I’m quite happy as I am?”

Melbourne’s conversation with her Uncle popped into his head and for a moment he remembered that soon he would no longer be able to work with her and it would put a strain on their secret marriage. 

“You know I will not be your Prime Minister forever, ma’am.” 

“Don’t say that, Lord M.” Her voice dropped and became small. Instantly he regretted ever saying something. He should have just continued on in their fantasy that nothing would ever change. He chastised himself for such reckless and harmful words. 

“But I must. Let the Coburgs come. Perhaps Albert will surprise you.” 

“I don’t want things to change.” She confessed weakly. 

“I know, ma’am. But I believe you will not be happy alone, even with companions.” 

“If you think I will not be happy then you underestimate the value of a companion.” She said her anger flaring up, veiling her true meaning. _You are enough. You will always be enough._   

He smiled kindly and looked down at his hands to distract himself from her intense gaze. “You need a husband to love you, honour you, and cherish you.” 

She stayed silent but he could see her forming some sort of plan in her head. He could almost see the intensity of her thoughts and he wondered what was drawing such an intense focus from her. 

“When I marry…if…I marry…it shall not be to please anyone else.” 

“No. You must please yourself.” He affirmed. 

She gave him a smile that told him he was who pleased her. He chuckled and looked down at his hands again, letting her go back to concentrating on her painting. 

                                                   XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

They’d spent most all day together and currently he was listening to Victoria play the piano. He marveled at the dexterity of her talents. Painting and playing piano was quite the combination. He loved watching her play and he had the perfect seat to watch how lost she would get in the music. He smiled at the passion with which she played and he’d had that same passion directed to him. It warmed his heart thinking of the way she’d always kiss him on the balcony. There wasn’t a part of his body that’d been cold after she kissed him with the same intensity she was now playing piano with. 

He saw movement from the corner of his eye and when he turned to look his heart stuttered. Albert had arrived and he was indeed as Leopold had said, what appeared to be a good match for Victoria. He was handsome and close in age. She could have a longer life with Albert, it would certainly be easier. He could only dream of being able to outwardly show as much affection for Victoria as Albert would be permitted to. His heart scolded him for thinking such things and belittling Victoria’s own feelings. She had confessed her love, she was confident in her feelings, and she had married herself to him in heart, soul, and mind. Victoria had chosen to walk this path, had chosen him knowing nothing would ever be easy for them. He had to have faith in Victoria, as she did in him. She never questioned him about leaving her for a better match, he should give her the same consideration. 

He stood, as obligated, and watched curiously to see how Victoria would respond. She was so enraptured by the music she hadn’t noticed everyone stand. The only time she did notice was when the piece was ending and she finally opened her eyes to see a hand turn the sheet page for her. He watched her stare up and wondered what was going through her head. 

He could practically see the Prince begin to fall for her in that moment they held eye contact, the same way he had. He couldn’t blame Albert for that, but a part of him felt pride. He already held dear what the Prince had come for, her heart and her hand in marriage. 

“Victoria.” 

“Albert.” 

Their conversation was stopped from progressing with the protest of Dash barking at Albert. Melbourne’s lips lifted in amusement. Dash had never once barked at him. He took it as a sign. 

The boy had no tact. He was stiff and awkward, and though attractive, it seemed he did not have charm to go with those looks. He insulted Victoria’s playing and then quickly was saved by his brother. That boy, on the other hand, oozed charm and Melbourne guessed he was quite popular with the ladies. He seemed the type to flirt and charm his way out of any situation. He found himself so caught up in analyzing the princes that when he heard his name he found himself startled and unprepared. 

“Don’t we, Lord M?” 

He racked his brain trying to figure out what she had been saying earlier and hoped he was on the same page. 

“Oh, yes, ma’am. The dispatches from Afghanistan will require your complete attention.” He fumbled knowing that he was lacking his usual confidence, for the sole reason he didn’t know what was going on. 

“I’m terribly sorry, but I was not made aware of your impending arrival. I cannot stop being Queen and forsake my responsibilities. I would have made you aware of the long days of work ahead for me before wasting your time in coming. I do hope you will be comfortable here and find a way to entertain yourselves. Lehzen, would you be so kind as to show Cousin Albert and Ernest to their rooms please. I am going to retire for the night.” 

“Of course, Majesty. This way please.” Lehzen lead the way taking Albert and Ernest with her. Leopold followed shortly after saying goodnight to Victoria and his sister. 

“I must be going as well, ma’am, we have such a long day ahead of us tomorrow. I must get some rest.” He announced. 

“Yes, I will see you tomorrow, Lord M.” 

He nodded and on his way out passed by and whispered, “Balcony.” He made his way there and made sure no one was passing by as he slipped outside and hid off to the side. He gazed up at the stars as he waited, occasionally glancing at his pocket watch. Twenty minutes passed, but he knew Victoria would come. He was willing to wait an hour if it meant being able to finally have some time alone with her. Forty minutes elapsed before Victoria slipped out onto the balcony, silently closing the door behind her. 

“I’m sorry it took so long, I could not manage to escape Lehzen.” 

“It’s quite alright. I would have waited longer just to share these few minutes alone with my wife.” 

Victoria smiled and stepped closer taking both of his hands in her own. She was in her nightgown and it added a layer of intimacy between them that had previously been covered. 

“Oh William, I’ve missed you so much. My heart has been longing for this closeness with you all day.” She sighed and leaned her head on his chest. 

“So have I.” He confessed, taking one hand out from her grasp and combing his fingers through her hair that was let down. He’d never seen it this way before and he liked the feel of being able to run his fingers through it. Victoria hummed in appreciation. 

“I love you.” She breathed out, burying her face into his chest as much as she could. 

“I love you too.” She shivered against him and he knew she had to go back in. It was cold and she had come out in nothing more than a nightgown. Even her feet were bare. 

“You’re going to become ill being out here in so little.” 

“If that is my punishment for spending a few precious minutes with my husband, then so be it. I will not trade this time for anything. It is all that keeps me sane during the day when I long to reach out and touch you, to caress your face in gentle kisses. This is my only relief for such torture, one I will gladly bear at any time so long as it is for you.” 

“My heart rejoices when you call me your husband. My ears crave that gentle caress of your love.” He confessed holding her close. 

Victoria lifted her head from his chest to meet his eyes, a smile on her face. She let go of his hand and held his face in her hands, brushing his hair with her thumbs. “My husband. My light and salvation. The one for whom my heart beats. The reason for the love in my heart.” 

“My wife.” He parroted, voice cracking under the emotion heavy on his heart. “My saving grace. My purpose. My very being belongs to you.” 

He watched her eyes become glossy and tears begin to fall. He wiped them away gently with the back of his finger before tipping her chin up and leaning down to kiss her. Her hands moved from his face to around his neck, one hand lost in the back of his hair, aimlessly threading through the short curls. Despite the cold, he felt the heat from her body and held her close to him to absorb the heat, and share his own with her. 

In the shadows, they appeared to only be one person and truly they were. They completed each other in ways no one else could. Their hearts beat in consort, their minds synced in love, souls blended into one whole. No one could destroy what they had. Despite the wishes for her to marry Albert it would never happen, not now that her and Melbourne were one in every way they could be, apart from true union between a man and wife. Even still, there was no way to break the love that had formed between them. Try though as others may, they would always be destined to fail in their attempts.

 

XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX


	4. Marriage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melbourne and Victoria enjoy the beginnings of their marriage together while Victoria searches for a way to make it legal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's been almost a month y'all. Bottom line...life. Life happened.

Watching Albert try to interact with Victoria was as painful as trying to vote on a bill in the house. Just as things seemed to be going smooth the boy would say something unflattering, as well as rude, and return to square one. Melbourne could understand why her Uncle desired a union between the two, but Albert was not well versed in the art of subtlety and charm. Those two things were his downfall. He would improve over time, of that Melbourne was sure, but for now…it was already too late. Despite even playing well together at the piano he caught Victoria trying to look his way and indicate that she was playing for him, her husband, and no one else. Knowing he held claim as the sole recipient of her affections made him feel at ease despite the numerous attempts from others to push her and Albert together at every avenue they could. He had encouraged her during their time working to try and be a good host, to look to build a friend and ally, rather than simply push Albert away as an unwanted suitor. She had reluctantly agreed to try her hardest despite Albert’s lack of manners, and her contempt for her cousin. 

Once again, he dismissed himself early before the others were ready to retire and caught Victoria’s eye. She smiled and gave a short nod of understanding. He was only standing waiting on the balcony for ten minutes before she came out. 

“Must you leave so soon? I do not think I can bear cousin Albert without you present.” 

He chuckled. “I’m quite confident you will manage without me.” 

“Has this become our routine now?” Victoria inquired.

“I suppose it has.” 

“Then let us not waste a moment more.” She commanded, a smile on her lips. Melbourne understood and returned her smile. He couldn’t deny he’d been thinking of nothing else but kissing her. 

Their kiss was gentle and languid, an attempt to slow down time around them and live in the moment. It was only when air became a necessity did they part. He leaned his forehead against hers as they tried to catch their breath. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you.” She repeated, pecking his lips. “My husband.” She whispered reverently, ghosting her fingers across the plains and valleys of his face. 

“My beautiful wife.” He echoed in awe. 

Their lips met again, the atmosphere around them charged with passion and complete adoration. Victoria was the one to break their kiss, cupping his face with one hand as their foreheads touched. 

“One day.” She breathed out. “One day we will be together in every way a husband and wife should be.” It was an oath. Her voice solemn and sincere.

“One day.” He repeated in agreement, a smile on his kiss bruised lips. 

“I must return now; I will see you tomorrow, yes?” 

“I do not think I am capable of staying away anymore, Victoria.” Melbourne confessed. 

She smiled and pecked his lips one last time before walking away. He smiled after her and waited another few minutes before leaving, trying to walk out inconspicuously. 

                                                  XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

“We will expect you for dinner tonight. There will be dancing afterwards. Nothing elaborate.” 

“I thought you weren’t having any more balls.” 

“Oh no, it isn’t a ball. It’s just a very small dance. I must do something to entertain the princes. I thought it might be a way to be civil and try to make a friend, like you advised.” 

Melbourne smiled, “How thoughtful of you ma’am; but I seem to remember you telling me Prince Albert does not care for dancing.” 

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to dance with him anyway. It’d be like waltzing with a poker.” 

His eyes smiled in amusement. “Very well then. I’m sure your other cousin would be a good dance partner.” 

“Of that, I am quite sure. Ernst has always loved to dance. What about you Lord M?”

“Me, ma’am?” He asked in surprise at her question. She nodded in affirmation. “Well…I think dancing is quite intimate and enjoyable, so long as one is dancing with the right partner.” He hinted. 

Victoria smiled. “Quite right. I have some other matters I must attend to that require my complete attention.” 

“But we have finished our work for the day?” He said puzzled. 

“We have yes, but I have not. It is a private matter that does not, at this time, require your expertise. I shall see you tonight for dinner.” She replied shortly, hastening to end the conversation before he could inquire. 

Melbourne was suspicious but bowed and left her to whatever work she planned to do. He would just have to wait and see if she would let him in on whatever it was she was up to. He had to stop by Brocket Hall anyways if there was to be another dance. Victoria would need a flower, and he had the perfect one in mind.

                                                      XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

He heard the change in tempo and knew that a waltz would be played. He shouldn’t dance with Victoria; it would become obvious to all those around, but it was such an intimate dance that he could not just stand by and let Albert fawn over his wife. Melbourne made his way over to Victoria who was as happy as ever, she really did seem to enjoy dancing with Ernst. He wondered if Victoria considered him a great friend or the brother she never had. 

“Dear Lord M! Thank you for the flowers.  They’re as beautiful as ever.” 

“The glasshouses of Brocket Hall are at your service, ma’am.” He noticed from the corner of his eye Albert begin to move and quickly he asked, “May I have the pleasure of dancing with you?” He noticed Albert stop in his tracks. 

“I would be delighted.” Victoria’s eyes were aglow with delight. Little did she know Albert had begun to retreat, crestfallen. 

They were close, their faces inches apart and bodies pressed together. It was intimate and their movements were smooth and graceful. It almost appeared as though they’d danced this hundreds of times. They were completely in sync with one another, even to the untrained eye. 

“What does this flower mean?” Victoria inquired curiously. 

“Traditionally a gardenia is used to convey a message of love and devotion from an unknown person.” He explained softly, careful to not let anyone overhear.

“A secret love.” She clarified. 

“Precisely. I thought it fitting.” He remarked. 

Victoria smiled and said in a voice just above a whisper so no one else dancing around them could hear, “I have the most thoughtful husband in all of England.” 

He blushed and continued to spin around with her, eyes locked. For a moment, it felt as though it was just the two of them and his heart felt free.

“You look as beautiful as ever tonight my dear.” He murmured quietly. 

“Thank you. I find you particularly pleasing to the eye tonight as well.” Melbourne snorted a laugh. 

“I don’t think so myself, but if you say so, ma’am.” 

“I do say so.” She emphasized. 

“Then I have no choice but to believe it true.” 

She giggled and he smiled. The song ended and with his spirits higher than before, bowed to Victoria. “Thank you for the privilege, ma’am.” Victoria stayed silent, a smile ever present on her lips. She felt giddy. “Might I suggest, dancing with Albert next?” 

“I shall think on it.” She replied. He nodded and took his spot in the corner of the room with Emma to watch Victoria. It was all he could do for the rest of the night given the way they had just danced. But in the end, he could not regret it for it had filled both him and Victoria with joy; it had rejuvenated them. 

“You both seemed to enjoy dancing, William.” Emma spoke, a hint of a smirk playing on her lips. 

“Well, I can only speak for myself but…I believe it was most satisfactory.” He replied nonchalantly. 

“You gave her gardenias.” 

“So I did.” He replied, voice even. 

“I cannot help but notice the Queen seems to excuse herself minutes after you leave and does not return for quite some time, and that when she does her mood has improved and she looks, dare I say, …flushed.” 

“I wouldn’t know.” Melbourne said, keeping his eyes averted, his heart racing. 

“Let’s not play games William, I am no fool. I know the signs of love. What is really going on between you?” 

“It is not for me to say Emma, certainly not here.” He murmured before slipping away, glancing to Victoria and holding her gaze as a sign. 

He was waiting for her once again on the balcony, inhaling the fresh night air. He closed his eyes reliving the waltz and for a moment entertained the thought of being able to waltz with her every night in the context of marriage. There would be no having to dance with one another in proportion. And if they so desired, they could dance together every night. He sighed at the image knowing it could only ever be a dream. But with moments like tonight he would be content. 

He lost track of time as he stood on the balcony, content with the love he felt in his heart. 

“Are you leaving already?” Victoria asked as she walked through the door. 

“Very soon I’m afraid, but I could not leave without having a short time of paradise with my wife.” 

“Such a loving and attentive husband you are.” Victoria smiled pushing herself up onto her toes to kiss him. 

“For you, I shall be anything you wish me to be.” 

“I shall bear that in mind, William.” There was a mischievous sparkle in her eye as she wound her arms around his neck. 

“I am confident you will.” He replied with a small chuckle before leaning down to kiss her.

“Thank you for the wonderful dance tonight, as well as the flowers. I shall cherish them forever.” 

“I have no doubt you will, as I will too.” There was a shared smile on their lips. 

Victoria gazed into his eyes, an unreadable look in them, as she played with his hair at the back of his head. 

“What is it, my dear?” 

“Nothing. I am just thinking of how happy you make me.” 

“You make me happy too, Victoria.” 

“You have filled my heart with a love I never knew possible to experience.” 

“I am most grateful you have given me a reason to allow myself to love again.” 

“I thank Almighty God each day that I can call you my husband, and I pray one day things will be different, that everyone may know I am your wife.” 

“If only such a thing were possible. I must confess that often I find myself dreaming of such things.” 

“Perhaps we will live to see our dream become reality.” 

“Having you is true enough for me.” He smiled and kissed her before taking her hands from out of his hair. “I believe it is time for you to return to your cousins and entertain them, continue to build allies. Although, I suspect, Albert may not be in an approachable mood. He was keen to ask you to waltz but I could not let him dance such an intimate exchange with _my_ wife.” 

Victoria giggled and pecked his lips. “If I did not know better I would say you jealous William.” 

“I am only a man.” He justified. 

“And you are mine, and I am wholly yours, gentle husband. You may sleep easy with this knowledge.” 

“Indeed.” He replied, kissing her one last time before saying goodbye and turning to leave for his own home.

                                                     XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

He arrived the next day as per usual with some work for them to do but looked confused upon seeing Victoria dressed to go out. He didn’t know of any event in public for the day. 

“Lord M!” Victoria shouted excitedly. “How fortunate you arrived now.” She all but bounced over to him. 

“Is it ma’am? I brought the latest dispatch from MacNaghten in Kabul.” 

“I’m afraid there is no time for work at the present, Lord M. I have decided to go to Windsor.” 

“On a Wednesday?” He questioned. 

“Yes. Albert does not like the gardens of Buckingham. He prefers the forests of Windsor and I am jovial enough to permit entertaining my cousin. They did come such a long way, and as you advised, I should spend time building allies with them even if I do not wish to marry.” 

“Oh. How thoughtful of you, ma’am. It is most considerate. I applaud your efforts towards showing gracious hospitality to the princes.” 

“You must come with us. There is still work we must do that I cannot get done without your guidance. And I do so enjoy riding out. We can sit down tomorrow and do the dispatches you went to the trouble of bringing.” 

“Very tenacious of you, ma’am.” He applauded. 

“So you will come, won’t you?” Her eyes were sparkling with hope, her features all portraying her genuine happiness. He wondered what had put her in such a delightful mood. 

“Only a fool would turn you away, ma’am. I am most honoured by your invitation.” He acquiesced with a bow. 

“Wonderful. You can ride with Dash and I and begin discussing the dispatches.” 

“Majesty, I do not think that wise.” Lehzen interrupted, startling Melbourne. He had forgotten they were in the presence of the Baroness. 

“Why on earth not? I am already spending precious time travelling all the way to Windsor for my cousin to be entertained. I do not wish to waste that time talking of nonsense when there is business to be discussed for the nation. I think it very wise.” 

“People will talk Majesty; you know they already do. And it is such a long journey.” Lehzen whisper hissed. 

“Let them talk Lehzen. I will not let their whispered gossip keep me from performing my duties I swore an oath to do to the best of my ability.” Victoria’s tone was confident and commanding, leaving no room for refusal from either him or the baroness. 

Lehzen curtsied, submitting herself before Victoria’s ultimate authority and left to tell her ladies of the change. 

“Come with me Lord M, I was headed to my carriage when you arrived.” 

“Indeed, it was most fortunate that I came at present.” 

They walked together a safe distance apart, finding it easy once more to play this role expected of them as both knew relief from pretending was imminent. 

“In this regard, I must agree with the baroness, ma’am. It is quite dangerous for us to be alone so long without supervision.” He murmured. 

“Perhaps, but I do not think I could bear the long journey without your company.” She replied, voice kept low as they walked, mindful of the servants around. 

They heard Dash come running up to them as they reached the carriage and much to Victoria’s delight Melbourne picked up the spaniel to help him into the carriage. Victoria’s eyes appeared glassy for a moment but when she blinked he noticed it was gone. They departed not long after but as soon as the carriage lurched forward and was past the marble arch, Victoria switched seats so she was pressed into Melbourne’s side, Dash in her arms. He put one arm around her, keeping her close, and pet Dash with the other. 

When he glanced to Victoria he noticed her eyes welling up with tears. “What is it, my dear?” 

“Nothing. I…sitting here with you and Dash, I feel as though I am home and I have never felt that before.” 

His heart simultaneously broke and soared. He mourned how sheltered and rough her childhood had been, the sacrifice of love for royalty. On the other hand, he felt as though his entire life of suffering and disrepute had all been for this one moment in his life, for Victoria. He was meant to endure all the pain and suffering for the complete joy and overwhelming affection and love from her. 

He took his arm off Victoria and turned her chin with a finger to meet his eyes. “You’ll never feel alone again. I’ll always be here.” Their lips met in a gentle caress but the moment soon ended when Dash began to lick their faces. They broke apart laughing and began to pet the jealous dog. 

“Come now Dash, no need to be jealous. William loves you too.” 

“Indeed, I do.” He affirmed, scratching the dog’s ears. 

The travel took hours, most of daylight in fact, but as Victoria had first told Lehzen they did discuss the dispatches and course of actions to take. If there were stolen kisses and conversations only a husband and wife would have in between talk of dispatches, well…no one would ever be any the wiser. 

                                                 XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

He was fastening the buttons on the Windsor uniform designed by her grandfather for members of the English Court when Victoria slipped in unannounced into his guest chambers. 

“Victoria!” He admonished in a voice just above a whisper as she floated over to him, a proud smile on her face. “What are you doing in here?” 

“Trying to catch a glimpse of my husband in disarray.” She confessed with a smile, remembering the state he’d been in last time she visited him unannounced. 

He chuckled and shook his head. “Then I regret to inform you that you’re too late. Shouldn’t you be getting ready for dinner yourself?” 

“Perhaps, but you’ll all be waiting on me anyways. I figured I may as well spend a moment of my time with you.” 

“I see. How fortunate for me, and unfortunate for those famished from the long journey.” 

“I found it quite pleasant.” She mused. “But perhaps it was the company.” She winked and gave him a quick kiss before slipping out of his room with a look saying she expected to see him in a state of undress later.

He chuckled as she left and shook his head once again. She was incorrigible.  

                                                     XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

When he arrived downstairs the Duchess and King Leopold were already waiting. He suspected they’d all be waiting a while longer since Victoria had only left his room minutes ago. He paused in his steps looking for a place to blend into the wall, but was stopped by the King who looked genuinely surprised to see him. Clearly word had not gotten to the King about his shared journey alone with Victoria. He suspected it would soon. 

“I did not know you were at the castle, Lord Melbourne.” 

“I should be at the House, but the Queen was most insistent we not put off work until she returns. So, here I am.” 

“And you do not care to refuse her.” 

“She is the Queen, Sir.” He replied politely, his voice even so as to not give away his inner musings. 

Mercifully any further conversation was cut short by the arrival of the Princes. He backed towards the wall and remained there silently, taking in the exchange between Ernst and Leopold. 

They were talking amiably with the Duchess; Albert remained silent a short while until sudden silence engulfed the room as Victoria entered with her ladies. Her eyes went straight to him and his heart swelled with pride that of all the people in the room her eyes sought him out first. 

“Oh, dear Lord M. I am so glad you were able to come.” He smiled and sent a message to her silently as he looked sideways to Albert. Her whole purpose for coming was to build relation with her cousin and that required interaction. She nodded almost imperceptibly and spoke, “If you’d excuse me.” 

He bowed and smiled at her encouragingly. He was proud of her for the effort she was making, knowing how much she really did not care for Albert. 

He overheard Albert’s remark that was no doubt pointed to him and he had to force himself to stay silent. He did not simply ‘flatter’ Victoria. He was truthful in all his charm to her. There was no need for flattery because every word he spoke about her beauty was truth. There were no words that could truly do his wife justice and if Albert were older he would understand the difference. The words that Albert spoke to the Queen were not truth but guileless and tasteless. They were insulting and rude and there was a difference. Perhaps the boy’s intention was to be truthful, but it was carried out without tact. All he was doing was pushing Victoria further away. 

Somehow, he found himself sitting beside the fire with Victoria and Albert whom he was trying most hard to like but the boy was insistent on flirting with Victoria and insulting him. It was hard to keep up civil pretenses but he knew it was his duty and he had to show Victoria that not every insult was worth rising up to. He bade his tongue and felt that even Victoria was beginning to take up offense on his behalf.

He simply replied to Albert’s challenging question, “It may have escaped your notice, Your Serene Highness, but I have been in government for ten years, first as Home Secretary and then as Prime Minister. So, I believe I am tolerably well-informed.”

When Albert turned away he met her eyes and shook his head in discouragement for her to not engage. 

It was not long after, that dinner was announced to be ready. Thankfully it went over smoothly and there was no further incident. He announced his retirement early in the evening encouraging Victoria to stay and play a duet with Albert again.

Everyone else found the suggestion agreeable and made their way to the piano where there were multiple duets played before Victoria announced her own retirement for the night. 

Melbourne knew Victoria would show up some time during the night and waited for her in a semi state of undress as he knew she was expecting of him. He occupied his time of waiting with going to the library and finding a work of St. John Chrysostom to bring back to his chambers. He had begun to fall asleep on the couch when he felt it dip beside him. His eyes snapped open and he noticed Victoria once again in her nightdress, hair down. 

“I can’t help but notice the top of your chest is exposed William while you are still dressed from earlier. Were you in fact waiting on me to dress for bed?” 

“I was.” He confirmed, voice thick with sleep, and eyes falling closed again.

Victoria smiled and began to card her fingers through his hair, a soft hum coming from his throat. She kissed his cheek and took her fingers from his hair. She bit her lip before moving her hands to the buttons on his shirt, beginning to further undress him. 

That woke him again and he held onto her hands to stop her, a questioning look in his hazy gaze. 

“You’re tired William, let me help you dress for bed.” She requested. He opened his mouth to protest but she added, “Just the top half.”

That seemed to put him more at ease and he nodded watching her curiously as she began to finish unbuttoning the uniform. She peeled away the first layer, the beautiful blue and gold that she thought was most flattering on him and helped remove it from his body. All that remained was the white blouse that he had already unbuttoned once, just enough for her to glimpse the skin that lay beneath. Her breath hitched as she looked up to meet his eyes. There was a dulled intensity there due to the exhaustion from the day’s events, but even still she could feel a shift in the atmosphere, how intimate things had now become. Another layer of their relationship was being added, a deeper intimacy of knowledge only a wife could truly have of her husband.

When the shirt was gone and the flesh of his chest was laid bare in front of her curious gaze, there was an instinct within that brought her hands to skim across his chest. She felt the muscle that lay underneath, felt the beat of his heart. It was beating for her. She alone laid claim to his heart and no one could ever take him away from her. She explored the plains and valleys of his chest, appreciating every line. She was studying him intensely, familiarizing herself to the feel of his skin under her hands, and the way his breathing hitched when she kissed his neck and chest. She wished to spend all night familiarizing herself with him, but he was too tired. She helped him into his night shirt and looked away as he did the rest himself. Their time would come when she would get to know his body intimately, and they would be together completely as man and wife should be, but tonight was not the right time. She did not wish to uncover such knowledge and then have to hide it. She was willing to wait till such a time as their marriage was common knowledge and it was not criminal to be with him in such an intimate way. 

When he was dressed she took his hand and led him over to his bed, laying down first. Even drowsy with sleep he was still conscious of propriety. 

“We are married are we not? I just wish to lay with you William, nothing more. I will return to my room in a while.” She assured. 

He acquiesced and helped her under the covers, turning out the lights save for one oil lamp near the door and away from the bed, so upon someone entering unexpectedly he could shield the person’s gaze from spotting Victoria beside him. 

When he finally laid down she curled into him and placed her head on his chest, holding him close to her with an arm. He in turn kissed her head and held her securely with one arm, lacing his fingers in hers with the hand draped over his waist. 

“I love you.” She murmured softly. 

“I love you as well, Victoria. So much more than I can ever accurately express.” Came his low response. 

She listened to his breathing, feeling the rise and fall of his chest against her cheek, his heartbeat in her ear. It was but minutes later he succumbed to sleep and her soon after, comforted by his arms around her, heart fully content with such intimacy. 

                                                    XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

He awoke early in the morning, before the sun had awaken, and was met with the weight of Victoria’s head on his chest. Her breathing matched his own and in that single moment he felt as though he finally understood what love truly was. Oh, what he wouldn’t give to have this every night. To wake up to her every morning with her, to be lulled to sleep by her fingers in his hair, a lullaby on her lips. He felt completely and utterly satisfied in that moment, heart filled with the joys of love. He kissed her head and held her a little tighter to which she subconsciously moved closer to him as though she wasn’t already pressed firmly to his body, her own conforming to the outline of his. With a smile on his lips he fell back asleep comforted by the satisfaction his heart found in her presence. 

When he awoke again Victoria was gone. It was rather cold without her warmth. He sighed knowing it was for the best, if she was to have been found in his chambers, her body molded to his own, it could have been disastrous. One day maybe they could have it all, but that day was not today. Still, he found his spirits being lifted with the knowledge of what it was like to share a bed with his wife. Perhaps the next time they shared a bed they would have, what anybody else would consider, a criminal conversation. To them however, it wouldn’t be anything so primitive or ghastly. It would be something to rejoice at, the union of man and wife in its purest form. His heart lurched at such an idea, he wanted to experience her in the ways a husband would his wife. That too, would have to wait for another day. There was solace in knowing that Victoria too wanted such knowledge of him. 

As he readied himself for the day a footman came in with a letter on a silver slaver. 

“From her majesty.” He announced with a bow. 

Melbourne took the letter and dismissed the man before opening it to read.

 

_Dearest husband,_

_I am terribly sorry to have left you before you awoke._

_I thought it best to make the appearance of having slept in my bed._

_All the same, I think I shall never sleep properly again without you._

_You looked so at peace and happy in your sleep I could not bear to wake you at such an unholy hour._

_I do hope you’ll forgive me._

_I have made plans to go riding with my cousins this morning, so I am afraid we cannot ride out together as we always do._

_I do not plan to make a habit of this._

_I have some matters to attend to alone this afternoon but I should very much like to have lunch with you._

_Perhaps in the west corner of the gardens at the stroke of noon?_

_I hope to see you there._

_All my love,_

_Victoria. Your wife._

Melbourne smiled before tucking the letter away and curiously wondered what matters she had to attend to alone, again. It was most curious. He went to have a light breakfast with some of the other guests before entertaining himself by taking a walk around the castle. The hours passed by quickly and soon it was noon. He quickly made his way out to the gardens but found no one waiting for him. His heart sunk, but he waited a few more minutes walking around thinking perhaps he had gone to the wrong corner. Still there was no sign of Victoria. A half hour elapsed and Melbourne knew there was something wrong. Victoria would have told him of a change of plans or been there early, eager to see him again. He raced back into the palace and asked the servants if they had seen the Queen. When no one could answer, he found Emma who said she had not yet returned from the woods. As he walked towards the front entrance of the castle he found Albert pacing furiously and Ernst trying to calm him down. If the princes had returned then Victoria should be close by. Heart hammering in his chest he walked over to them and upon meeting Albert’s eyes there was hatred pointed his direction.

“Where is the Queen?” He asked trying to seem nonchalant. Albert’s jaw set and he only glared in response. Ernst looked as though he’d been put in a corner. From him Melbourne could get answers.

“Where is she?” He asked again, voice a little higher and more stern. 

“In the woods.” Ernst replied, head downcast. 

“You left her alone?!” He shouted, heart clenching in fear. 

“I’m sorry Lord Melbourne, my brother wasn’t thinking straight. Please, allow me to come with you.” 

“I think you’ve both done enough.” His voice was icy, his glare sharper than Albert’s own. In that moment, he wanted to strangle the boy. Whatever had happened Albert had not only endangered a Queen, but his wife, his life. Albert remained silent, fury and anguish colouring his eyes most distinctly. 

Melbourne rushed out and quickly got on a horse getting up to a canter as he rode through the woods calling her name. A few beaten pathways and an hour later he found her horse beside a tree. She had to be close. He dismounted and began to run through the dying trees calling out Victoria’s name again. He was searching for ten minutes when he finally heard a faint reply. 

“William!” His heart skipped a beat as he followed the direction her voice came from. 

“Victoria!” He called again and a stronger reply came. 

“William!” He found her a minute later, on the ground, holding Dash in her arms, eyes red and brimming with tears, face stained by them and marked with dirt.

“Victoria.” He breathed out rushing to her side and falling to his knees. He took her face in his hands and kissed her soundly. “I was so afraid. What happened?” 

Tears began to fall again as she brokenly told him through her sobs what had transpired. “I told him! I told him!” She cried over and over but he was more concerned about her wellbeing than whatever she might have told the foolish prince. 

“Are you hurt?” She shook her head. 

“Dash. His paw.” She sobbed nodding her head toward her whimpering friend. Melbourne tried to examine the paw but Dash yelped at the smallest touch. The poor dog must be in so much pain. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, William. I’ve ruined everything.” Victoria cried out. 

“No darling. No, you haven’t. It’s alright. Come, Dash needs medical attention and you need food and rest.”

Victoria shook her head. “I don’t need any of that. I just need you. I need to hear you say you still love me.” 

He cupped her face again and pushed back the hair that had been trapped against her face from her dirt ridden tears. “Victoria, I love you. That will never change, ever. I promise.” Still her tears continued. “Look at me my darling.” She looked up and met his gaze. “I love you deeply, so completely, Victoria, that I am incomplete without you. Nothing can change my affections for you. They are irreversible. Whatever you told Albert, I still love you.”

His honesty shone through his eyes and he kissed Victoria again. Finally, he seemed to have gotten through to her and with a small smile he scooped up Dash gently, allowing Victoria to get up from the ground. They began to walk back together, Victoria holding onto Melbourne’s arm. 

“I knew you would find me. You always come looking for me.” She whispered before sniffling. 

“And I always will…till death do us part.” He affirmed reciting a part of their marriage vows. 

At that she smiled but it quickly went away. “I told him that we were married.” She whispered. 

Melbourne chuckled. “That would explain why the boy was glaring at me so heartily. It was nothing compared to the rage in my eyes at him forsaking you here, and with Dash injured. We must get him to a Doctor immediately.” 

“You are not cross with me?” She asked surprised. 

“No, my love. What led to you telling him?” Melbourne asked calmly. Inside he was beginning to worry about what would happen to Victoria. What would become of them? 

“He…I…Dash was hurt and when he was bandaging the paw he made mention of how he did not like how much time I was spending with you. He then insulted your character and I tried to be civil like you told me to, to not take up defense on your behalf, but he continued and said that I should marry you and-” 

“And then you told him.” 

Victoria nodded. “I’m so sorry, William. I’m so sorry. What’s going to happen now?” 

“I don’t know. Whatever happens next is in the hands of your cousin.” 

“I’ve put us both in danger. I’m so sorry.” Her voice cracked and tears began to fall once more. Melbourne stopped and turned to look at Victoria. 

“Peace, my darling. It will be okay. I do not blame you for anything that happens next. I love you.” He assured, meeting her eyes with all sincerity. 

Victoria nodded and they continued back in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. It was still too early to tell anyone and yet she had, and there was no way to rescind her words. It felt good to proclaim her love and yet she knew her recklessness could see such great pain come on William’s behalf. 

When they arrived back to the castle hours later, the sun had begun to bathe them in darkness. The first thing both Victoria and Melbourne noticed was that no one was looking at them any differently. No one said anything and it made them wonder if Albert had made mention of Victoria’s confession. 

Dash was taken care of first and set in a basket after being cleaned up. Melbourne and Victoria parted ways to change clothes and wash off the dirt that had caked onto them. They met later in the dining hall with everyone else. No one, apart from Albert, seemed to be glaring at Melbourne and he at Albert in return. Where once Melbourne had attempted to hide his dislike of the prince, he now withheld no ounce of disdain. No one seemed to be acting any different and Melbourne concluded that Albert had not shared the secret proclaimed to him in a moment of anger. Dinner conversation was minimal and what was spoken was stories told only by Victoria’s ladies and Ernst, with Lord Alfred chiming in every so often. 

A doctor arrived late that night and Melbourne stayed with Victoria during the examination of her injured pet. There was a knock at the door and upon seeing Albert, Melbourne tensed but nodded to Victoria after the prince requested to speak with her, assuring her he would not leave Dash. She thanked him with glassy eyes, grateful for his support. He nodded in response telling her he would always be beside her. Their conversation was silent and took place only through the exchange of glances. 

She returned a while later after the doctor had said there was only so much he could do for Dash outside of his office. Melbourne was told to bring Dash to a doctor in the city as soon as possible. At present, all the doctor could do was give the dog some medicine to take away the pain. It would make him very drowsy but would keep the pup from further injuring himself. He was placed back in the basket and made comfortable. Dash’s attention was captured by Lord Melbourne as the doctor stuck a needle and injected him with some pain medicine. When Victoria arrived in the room the doctor had already left and Dash had begun to fall asleep as Melbourne pet him, offering words of comfort to the poor animal. 

Victoria was silent as she sat next to him and began to pet Dash in tandem. He knew she would talk when she was ready and so did not pry. She asked to be taken to her room and Melbourne nodded picking up the basket Dash was now asleep in, while escorting her to her chambers. She requested Dash be kept in his room and while Lehzen and himself were shocked, he agreed nonetheless.

He settled Dash on the floor beside his bed and gave the dog a gentle pat on the head before finally dressing for the night. The day had been much too long and even night had begun blend with day. It was much too late and he was exhausted. Just as Melbourne began to drift to sleep the door to his room creaked open and closed just as silently. He felt the bed dip as Victoria began to climb over to him, resting her head on his chest once again, moulding her body to the outline of his. 

“He’s not going to tell anyone.” Victoria whispered. “But he also refused to be allies. He said he was not capable of doing so with someone who held his affections and was dishonest to everyone around. He also insulted you and does not understand why I would chose to risk everything for you. He’s leaving first thing tomorrow morning which means we will be headed for Buckingham shortly.”

“Good. I miss London.” He murmured kissing Victoria’s head. “Get some rest.” 

“I will now that I’m with you.” She replied pushing herself up to his face, pressing her lips to his softly. 

Melbourne smiled and lazily kissed her back before she placed her head back on his chest and took a deep breath, settling in for the night. They both fell asleep quickly, exhausted from the day’s events. 

                                                  XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX 

 

Melbourne was roused from his sleep by a rustling of sheets and the bed moving. 

“Victoria?” He asked just barely conscious. 

“Go back to sleep my love.” She replied gently, pecking his lips. 

He smiled through his sleep haze and closed his eyes again, met with dreams of grandeur of his future life with Victoria. 

                                                 XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

Victoria had awoken early with a plan to go to the library and learn as much as she could about the constitution and her role as a monarch and marriage. She was determined to find a loop hole and publicly marry her already husband. Two nights in his company and she could not imagine sleeping without his warmth to soothe her. She’d never felt safer or more at peace in her sleep than when she was curled up with him. She had to find a way to keep him beside her at all times. She wanted to experience all the joys of marriage and they would indeed be joyous. While she admitted to not knowing of many happy marriages she wanted to experience marriage in its fullness and she wanted to experience it with no one but William. She spent the early hours before dawn studying, determination and her will set to not leave until she figured something out. 

Victoria left her study with the beginnings of a draft that would allow her to marry William, gain him the title of King Consort, and their children considered legitimate heirs to the throne. She hid the proposed act and snuck back to her room feeling more confident and happy than she had yesterday. She owed Albert for his silence and wanted to send him off well enough. She had her differences with him but he was still her cousin and she knew how it felt to love someone, and thus felt sympathy for his situation. She woke Lehzen early and asked her to tell the Princes that she was preparing a hearty feast for breakfast in honour of their long journey. Skerrett came in to help her dress minutes later and Victoria found herself confiding in her dresser who had endeared herself upon Victoria’s heart. 

“Skerrett, tell me…what do the people think of Lord M?” 

“Ma’am?” She asked for clarification. 

“What is the common gossip surrounding him? Please, speak truthfully, withhold nothing for the sake of my ears as only the truth will benefit me.” 

Skerret seemed to turn a little red as she fastened Victoria’s corset. “Well ma’am…most women I speak with or overhear in the market say he is most handsome.” 

“But what of his character?” She inquired further. 

“Some say he is most honourable and well respected with the way he handled the scandal surrounding his wife, others are suspicious and question his intentions… regarding you, respectfully, ma’am.”

Victoria laughed. “It is quite alright Skerrett. I thank you for your honesty. It was most helpful.” 

They fell into a silence and Victoria wondered if she dare to ask a further question. It was when Skerrett was finishing her hair that she decided to ask. “The…the people would respond well to an English marriage, correct?” 

“Yes, ma’am.” Skerrett affirmed, cautious of her answer. 

“Tell me…” Her voice lowered as she asked her dresser, “How do you think the people would respond if I were to give my hand in marriage to…to Lord Melbourne?” 

Skerrett’s eyes widened slightly but the girl could not say that she didn’t really see it coming. There was a palpable tension in the air now and Skerrett wondered why the Queen would entrust her with such a question that could ruin everything. 

“I…I am not sure, ma’am. I can only speak for myself when I say it would be most shocking to discover. But I believe, with time, the people would begin to warm to the idea when they realize that you are both marrying for love and that Lord Melbourne did not seduce you.” 

Victoria hummed a laugh at that. “Indeed not. It was quite the other way around.” 

Skerrett smiled at that and finished pinning the pendant braid behind Victoria’s ear. 

“Between you and I Ms. Skerrett, …William and I have already been wed in secret, it is only today I found a way to be married in public.” 

“I do not understand, ma’am. Why would you come to Windsor? Lord Melbourne is known to dislike this place.” 

Victoria smiled at the boldness of the question and watched as Skerrett’s face became pale upon realization of her question. She begun to stutter apologies but Victoria quickly assured her. “It is quite alright, Skerrett. I find it refreshing to talk with someone whom I can trust, apart from William.” 

Skerrett smiled and bowed her head. 

“To answer your question, I did it with the intentions of keeping my cousin as an ally. Although he came here with the intention to marry, I was already married in heart and soul to William. I came here because Albert likes forests and William encouraged me to reach out and try to connect with Albert if only as a friend and ally. I also came as some of the materials I needed in order to fully research our constitution as well as the marriage of monarchs was known to be present in this library. I saw it as a way to please Albert, my husband, and achieve my own agenda.” 

“That is most clever of you, ma’am. I applaud your ingenuity.” Skerrett affirmed.

“Ms. Skerrett, please know you may speak freely around me when it is just the two of us. I suspect I will need someone in the coming days who is not my husband, nor one of my ladies.” 

“I am honoured by your trust, ma’am. I assure you that you have not misplaced your loyalty.” 

“I am pleased to hear that.” 

“I am most curious, ma’am…when…how did you marry?” 

Victoria smiled recalling the conversation in Brocket Hall. “Well…” She regaled Skerrett with the tale of her wedding and everything that had happened in between leading up to the very present moment. 

Skerrett found her heart fluttering with such a loving story and felt tears prickling her eyes. She hoped the people would receive the news well. The way the Queen spoke of her secret husband filled Skerrett with hope that one day she would find someone who loved her so much as to risk his very life as Lord Melbourne was indeed doing. When Victoria had finished, a happy glow on her face, Ms. Skerrett could not help but tell the Queen her thoughts. 

“I am most pleased you find such happiness with him, ma’am. I have always found him to be most admirable.” 

Victoria beamed and thanked Skerrett for her time and her ear to listen. She made her way to the sitting room to wait for breakfast and was joined soon after by her mother and uncle. 

“Albert and Ernst are leaving.” Her mother announced. 

“With no engagement.” Her uncle reminded. 

“He’s not a British subject. I could not stop him even if I wanted to, and I do not want to, so it is no matter.” 

“Of course you can stop him.” Leopold interjected ignoring the fact Victoria had expressly said she had no interest in Albert staying. “All you have to do is propose.” 

“Oh, is that all? I’m afraid, Uncle, it is not so easy.” Victoria mused, not finding it within her to care that he was leaving. 

“But why not?” 

“Because we’ve both agreed that a marriage between the two of us will never work.  Albert and I spoke last night and the matter is decided. I do not wish to propose to him and he no longer has his eye on a marriage with me. We are not suited.” 

“It is your destiny to marry Albert, Drina.” 

“No mama, it is your destiny for me, not God’s.” She answered biting her lip to withhold further information. Now that she had told two people about her marriage to William she wanted to proclaim to everyone her deep love and affection for her husband. With tongue silenced, she waited for the next objection from her family.

“Victoria, you and Albert are both young. I do not believe you truly know what you want. Your Lord Melbourne has filled your head with disillusion.” 

Victoria abruptly stood, seething with anger. “He has done nothing of the kind! He has only ever assisted and offered help from a selfless heart which is more than I can say for you! Do not think I do not know that you come here for a reason that is less than wholesome. You are self-serving and wish to gain power through a marriage between Albert and myself. Well, I’m sorry to tell you, Uncle, that will never happen. I will never love Albert and you will never have a foothold in my government.” Without speaking further Victoria left the room only seeing red. She was sick and tired of people accusing her husband of distorting her mind. He had done nothing of the sort. He had treated her like one of his flowers, given her the utmost attention and care to see that she flourished and blossomed. He was the one responsible for the success of her reign. 

Victoria ordered breakfast to be brought to the library and ordered no one disturb her, not even Lord Melbourne. She was on a mission and she would not rest until it was complete. She spent the better half of the day locked in her study and library. It was just before sundown that she emerged, feeling victorious. She told Lehzen that they would be headed home to Buckingham first thing in the morning. There was one last thing she needed and it could be found only within her Palace. 

She went out for a walk in the gardens with Dash, in need of the fresh air after having been cooped up indoors for so long. It felt nice to spend the time with her furry companion. He had been laid up in his basket all day and Victoria could tell he too had needed some fresh air. She found a bench and sat down gazing at the stars, Dash held safely in her arms. 

“That one is the Corona Borealis, the Northern Crown.” Melbourne informed, announcing his presence. Victoria was startled for a moment but calmed once seeing it was her husband who was in her company. She smiled and gestured for him to join her on the bench. He sat and returned her smile before continuing to tell her about the star. “The Greeks believed that the star is the crown of the Princess Ariadne. After helping Theseus defeat the Minotaur and find his way out of the labyrinth, Ariadne sailed off with the hero, but was abandoned by him on the island of Naxos. Dionysus saw her weeping there and fell in love. The two were later married. At the wedding, Ariadne wore a crown made by the god Hephaestus, and she threw it into the sky after the ceremony. It is said that the jewels turned into stars which form the constellation you see before you… the Corona Borealis.” 

“I do not think I could manage to throw my crown five feet in front of me, let alone the sky.” 

Melbourne chuckled and looked to her with a concerned smile. “What is weighing on you so heavily that you’ve locked yourself away all day?” 

“I…I had to do something. For us.” 

Melbourne looked at her questioningly, imploring her to explain. 

“All will be explained soon William, trust me.” 

“Are you alright, darling?” He asked placing a hand on her cheek. 

“I am better now that you are here.” She replied. 

He knit his eyebrows together, not believing her answer. “What can I do to lift this burden from you?” 

“Love me with every breath in your body.” Victoria answered evenly, begging him with her eyes. 

“Is there any other way to love you?” Victoria knew the question was rhetorical and smiled at his answer. He placed his lips on hers and peace flooded through her. 

“Thank you.” She whispered, her forehead leaning against his. 

“Thank _you_.” He mimicked. “Thank you for bringing me back to life.” He cupped her face in his palm and stroked her cheek with his thumb. “Were it not for you I’d still be a pile of bones living in a dead body. Your love and your light resurrected me and for that I thank you. You have given me renewed purpose…to love and cherish you with all that is within me.” 

A tear fell from Victoria’s eye and he gently wiped it away. “I do not understand why people believe you to be a villain who has tainted me, when you have done nothing but help me blossom like one of your flowers in Brocket Hall.” 

Melbourne was silent for a moment considering his answer before replying. “People believe what they want to, ma’am. To look beyond their own preconceptions would require a deeper understanding and many do not wish to understand. It is easier to judge than to understand.” 

Victoria stayed silent and looked back to the stars for a moment before Dash began to wiggle and whine in her arms. 

“I believe Dash is ready for his dinner. You should eat too.” 

Victoria nodded and allowed her husband to lead her inside, contemplating his words in silence. 

                                                      XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

 

The return to Buckingham the next day saw Victoria and Melbourne riding in two different carriages. Melbourne was needed at the house and Victoria needed a document from her library as soon as possible. There was a plan that could only be set in motion with that single document and she desired it the same way a greedy man desired wealth. This document would change her future and set her on a course toward eternal happiness. 

Upon arrival at the Palace she went straight to her study as Albert and Ernst prepared to leave. She only emerged when Lehzen urged her to say goodbye as it would be rude otherwise. Ultimately, she agreed upon hearing William recommend doing so in her head. Sighing she got up and went out to bid them a safe journey. It was mercifully quick and there was nothing spoken between her and Albert to stir up further trouble. She returned inside to the study at the protest of her ladies who said it would benefit her to take some time outside and walk around the gardens. Victoria however, was in the middle of drafting her future and refused, insisting she would go out when done. 

She spent another two hours writing up a marriage proposal to bring before the Privy Council and smiled when she had finished. She had done it. She had found a way to publicly marry William and with this they would be unable to refuse her union with him. Excitedly she ran out of the study clutching the pieces of paper in her hand and found her ladies in waiting. 

“Emma, can you see to it that this letter is delivered to Lord M at the house right away? It is a matter of utmost urgency that requires him here after he is no longer obligated to be present at Parliament.” 

“Of course, ma’am.” The lady replied, quite confused as to the Queen’s manner. 

Victoria’s heart skipped a beat as she thought of sharing this palace with her husband. She envisioned children in the likeness of him running around the halls chasing after Dash. Smiling she left for her room and secured the papers she would present to the Council within the next few days. 

With a glance outside Victoria realized it was nearing sundown. It was growing dim but there was just enough light left outside to take a walk among the garden with her ladies and Dash. She couldn’t wait until tonight. 

                                                           XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

Melbourne was not surprised to receive a summons from Victoria. What surprised him was the urgency which came with the message. It brought worry and he began to wonder if something else had happened to Dash. The hour was late when he finally made it to the Palace, unable to break away from his duties any earlier due to his last-minute leave to Windsor. 

He found her standing in front of the fire place in a white dress, her hair adorned with gardenias. She seemed lost in thought and had not heard his approach. Melbourne took the time to memorize the picture in front of him. She was beautiful, so achingly beautiful. Her brows were furrowed, a sign he recognized to mean she was thinking deeply. 

“You wanted to see me, ma’am?” He asked softly so as not to alarm her, but make his presence known. Victoria turned around quickly, smiling upon seeing him. 

“Yes. I want to ask you something.” 

“The messenger said it was of utmost urgency.”

“Indeed it is.” She affirmed with a nod walking closer to him. 

“What is it?” He asked concerned. 

He watched Victoria shift the weight on her feet and wrung her hands together. She was nervous, he observed. 

“Is everything alright?” Melbourne asked now properly worried, taking her hands in his to steady them and calm her. 

“Yes, I think. I hope.” She replied, her breaths short and fast. He rubbed his thumbs on her hands trying to offer her some small form of comfort and help her say what it was that was causing such discomfort. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. 

“William,” She spoke, her voice strong but unsteady. “would you do me the honour of…. Oh, no, it sounds wrong.” She shook her head and took another deep breath before trying to speak again. “William…will you marry me?” 

His lips pulled up in an amused smile. “I thought I already had.” 

“No, I mean…publicly. Will you marry me in the church with every royal and politician present under the authority of God.” 

Melbourne’s breath hitched. “Victoria…you know we cannot.” 

“I figured out a way, William. I’ve spent time researching, trying to make it work and I found a way for us to be properly married in the eyes of the state. That is…if you still wish to be by my side and endure ridicule.” 

His eyes began to twinkle as he comprehended the meaning of her words. “That is the work you’ve been secluding yourself to accomplish.” She nodded still waiting for an answer. “I’ve endured ridicule all my life for things I wouldn’t give my life for. For you I would die a thousand deaths, ridicule is no hindrance to me. If you truly wish me to be your husband and you want to endure the insults that may come in declaring yourself my wife, then my answer is yes. I will marry you.” His lips pulled up into a smile as he watched Victoria squeal with delight. She jumped into his arms and he spun her around laughing with joy overflowing in his heart. When he set her back down he cradled her face and pressed their lips together, a promise of their impending union. Victoria giggled when they broke apart, her eyes shining just as brightly as his. 

He would be married publicly to this beautiful woman who had captured his heart and nursed it back to health with her gentle hands; helping it to beat once more and now it only beat for her. She said she had found a way for them to marry and he believed her. He’d seen how many hours she’d hidden herself away, searching for this, and she’d found it. Now, in a matter of months he would be married to her. Life couldn’t get any better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love all your comments. :)


	5. Announcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victoria addresses both the Privy Council and the Public about her intentions to marry Lord Melbourne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for sticking with this story. I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.

Victoria closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to gather her thoughts and steel herself for the task to come. She nodded to the footman and then walked into the room before the Privy council.

“My lords.” She greeted. “Thank you all for gathering on such short notice. What I have to discuss with you today is no small matter. Indeed, the topic I bring forth to you today is on the protocol surrounding sovereigns and marriage.” 

Victoria could hear the sharp intake of breath from the men surrounding her. She watched their nervous glances to one another but she remained strong and confident. 

For the next hour she fought hard for her marriage bringing up how there was no law prohibiting such a union. There were only suggestions for her to follow but no real law. She also made mention of unconventional marriages of some other fellow monarchs from Sweden, Denmark, France and Spain and how they in turn had benefitted the country tremendously. She then turned the conversation to William and the tremendous asset he would be as well as his noble and honorable nature. She tried to win them over by reminding them how such a happy marriage would be beneficial for the nation and give hope to others. It would be a marriage to rival all others around and the only one that would go down in history as being fruitful, faithful, and happy. To end her argument, she also reminded them of their own marriages and subtly reminded them of the true extent of her authority as Queen and that without a marriage there would be no heir to come and she would refuse a match with anyone else. She proposed that in time William be made King to stabilize the monarchy and ensure that should she die, their children have a Regent on their side and another person to help govern the country; one whom was knowledgeable on the proceedings of court and parliament.

When she emerged from the room after almost three hours of negotiating, she went to her study where she knew William was waiting. She found him pacing and had not yet noticed her presence. It was endearing watching him pace holes in her fine carpets from India. 

“If you keep walking like that I’ll have to take money out from your allowance to pay for a replacement rug, William.” She said with a smile. 

He stopped in the middle of pacing and froze staring at her. “You mean...”

“You shall be called King Consort William Melbourne… but more importantly, my husband.” 

Victoria watched his face envelop in a bright smile as he ran up to her, picking her up off the ground and spinning her around the room. Laughter bubbled from her lips as she let him sweep her up, giggling as she continued to spin in the air. She never knew him to be so strong. When he finally set her down his lips were on hers in the next second and it was all Victoria could do not to melt in his arms. She cupped his face tenderly assuring herself that this was really happening and felt tears begin to cascade down her face. 

“Why are you crying?”

“Because you make me so happy.” She replied. “And now I get to tell the world how happy you’ve made me and show them by marrying you.” 

Melbourne smiled and kissed her again, soft and slow. “First, I think we’ll have to be apart for quite some time.” 

Victoria sighed and nodded, “I know. You must resign and then I must go to that dreaded Peel and ask him to form a ministry.” Victoria made a rather undignified noise at the realization and Melbourne couldn’t help but laugh. 

Victoria blushed and cleared her throat, and in an instant, her face fell. “Wait…Emma and Harriet?” Her voice was small and sad.

He gave her a sympathetic smile but his eyes reflected her own sadness. “I’m sorry.”

There was a lump in her throat but she shook her head. “No, do not apologize. You have done nothing wrong William. This is my burden to bear.” 

“As your husband, what ails you ails me. You are not alone in your suffering. I know how dear they are to you and how much you rely on them. To see you hurting from losing them hurts me.” 

Victoria’s eyes began to shine with unshed tears. “What did I do to ever win your heart?” 

“Well…” He began teasingly, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “I believe it was when we first met and you stubbornly refused my help.” 

Victoria giggled and her cheeks began to burn with a furious blush once again, the tears now being pushed away with laughter. He stroked her cheeks with his thumbs and smiled, glad to have pushed back the sadness at least temporarily. 

“I believe we have some work to be done today. I must write my resignation letter and you have boxes to go through, I believe.” 

Victoria huffed. “I do not need reminding of all the dull papers requiring my attention.” 

“I will be with you presently to help. My letter should take me no more than the lesser half of an hour.” 

“Then I shall see you again shortly.” 

“Most assuredly.” He affirmed kissing her forehead before leaving. 

                                                    XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

It took a week for a new ministry to be put in place and for Victoria to add new ladies to her household. The country was shocked at Melbourne’s sudden resignation, but those who were higher in the House knew there was something bigger going on that hadn’t been made public. The Privy Council had granted Victoria two weeks to get everything in order before they announced to the public about her intention to marry Lord Melbourne, who was soon to be raised to dukedom as a part of the negotiation to accept him as being an eligible match. The time constraint added extra stress to Victoria and her only relief was currently impossible to have. She couldn’t see him but in public and they had pretenses to keep up lest anyone catch wind of just what was truly happening between the two. Even correspondence via letters was something he told her could not happen but once a week and even that was possibly too much but it was the only thing helping both parties to endure the long suffering separation. There was only so much comfort that could be offered from the stroke of a pen and flowers, but it offered just enough gratification to pacify their aching hearts. The promise of days to come where they were never again separated was just within their reach. Only another couple days remained in preparing things for the announcement of their public engagement.

It was in one of these final days apart that Melbourne found himself looking at rings. Though not required, as she was the one responsible for proposing, he too wanted to propose to her and offer her a token of his love, a promise of his unconditional love. He’d had the idea of it ever since they’d been married that day in Brocket Hall and had since been saving his money to buy such a luxury. He didn’t plan on buying her the biggest rock in the store but wanted to have the capability of doing so if his heart became set on a more expensive ring. He spent the day going around to different places, his heart not having found the right one yet. He would know for certain if he saw it. Just as it was nearing sun down and he was ready to give up the hunt, he tried one last person whom the previous jewler had referred him to. It was said this person sold unique and unorthodox engagement rings. It didn’t strike him with confidence when he walked through the shop door. There was only a box of twelve rings but as he looked through them his breath caught, his heart lurched, and he knew instantly he had to get it. It was perfect. 

“Where did you get this one?” He asked picking up the diamond ring in the shape of an orange blossom flower. The flower of eternal love and marriage. The band itself was shaped like the stem of the flower, with two leaves branching off. 

“Foreigner came through looking to get rid of it. Bad marriage I guess. So, I took it off his hands.” 

“How much?” Melbourne asked, knowing there was no sum of money he wouldn’t pay as he stared entranced by the beautiful ring. 

“Ten pounds.” The man replied. 

Melbourne gave it quickly and left with the ring held tightly in his hand. When he got into his carriage to head home to Dover House, there was a smile on his face that didn’t diminish the whole way. In fact, it only increased upon learning there was a letter from the palace for him waiting in his study. He tore the letter open quickly and smiled at the words of affection scribbled in haste across the paper. 

‘ _Soon my love’_. He thought in response. He put the ring away safely in a drawer of his desk and brought the letter with him to bed, placing it on the pillow beside him so as he drifted to sleep he could smell her and imagine his wife was wrapped up in his arms. 

                                                   XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

Victoria was pacing around nervously in her study. She had dismissed Sir Robert saying that she was indisposed and not able to receive visitors. She assured him that they would make up for lost time and all work would be done in a timely manner. With Emma gone, Victoria had only Harriet to lean on and asked her to make sure that she got a message to Lord Melbourne secretly, asking that he come to the palace at his earliest convenience. She’d confided in both Harriet and Emma what was truly happening with Lord Melbourne’s retirement and that they were preparing to announce their engagement. Both girls had been sworn to secrecy and to not utter a word about it until it was public knowledge. Harriet was all too willing to help keep the secret and even provide Victoria with a carriage to go see him. Victoria had been tempted but stayed strong, knowing a day was coming when she would never be apart from him. With an appreciative smile, she thanked Harriet but assured her that she would be okay. She’d been without his presence for just over a week and every minute without his ease of manner, his comforting smile, his gentle touch was tantamount to torture. Now he was on his way and it was a matter of minutes until she would see him again. 

She was looking at the bookshelf when she heard the door opened and she turned around, heart leaping at the sight in front of her. She waited for the door to close before she ran to him, a smile on her face. He met her half way and lifted her up, spinning her around, a smile of his own stretching his face. He held her close and she giggled when he finally set her back down on the ground. 

“I’ve missed you terribly.” She sighed, drinking in the sight of him and his musky scent. She buried her face in his chest, hugging him tightly. 

“I have missed you to the point of physical pain.” He replied in earnest, holding her just as tightly. 

Victoria inhaled deeply, finding comfort in his scent. She hadn’t been able to sleep right without him near. She felt his finger on her chin pull her face up to meet his eyes. 

“I love you.” He said softly, begging her to believe him with his eyes, as though it was the first time he’d ever told her.

Victoria’s eyes softened, her smile matching the loving gaze in her eyes that reflected the one in her husband’s. “I know William. I love you too.” To prove this, she stretched up on her toes and touched her lips to his is a gentle caress. 

He returned her kiss and smiled, leaning his forehead against her own. “I have something for you.”

Victoria’s eyes sparkled, curious as to what he could possibly have gotten. Her curiosity turned to confusion when she watched him get down on one knee. 

“William, what are you doing?”

“You asked me to marry you, but I have a question for you as well. Will you marry me?” She watched him produce a ring from his pocket and held it out to her. 

Victoria laughed, eyes once more playful and sparkling with wonder. “William, I thought we were married?” 

“But we’re making it public and legal in the eyes of the state, and in that regards every man is the one to ask and gives a ring. You said you wished that we could just be a man and a woman and this is me trying to give that to you.” 

Victoria smiled and knelt in front of him. She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him in reply. “Yes. I’ll marry you William in front of everyone with a proud smile on my face and that beautiful ring on my finger.”

He returned her smile and slid the ring on her finger, huffing out a laugh. “A perfect fit.” He whispered, amazed out how perfect the ring truly was. “It’s an orange blossom; a flower that signifies eternal love and marriage. 

“I love it William, it’s beautiful.” She marveled at the ring on her finger and found tears in her eyes.

“It doesn’t come close to your beauty, Victoria.”

She blushed and kissed him in thanks. “You’re quite beautiful in my eye as well.” 

He chuckled and shook his head in protest. “I think you may be wrong there.” 

“Are you questioning the judgement of your sovereign, Lord Melbourne?” She asked teasingly. His eyes sparkled mischievously. 

“I would never dare do such a thing, ma’am.”

“Because if you were, I may just have to lock you up.” 

“And where would I be locked up, ma’am?” He asked closing the distance between them, their lips inches apart. 

“My room.” She replied before kissing him. 

He laughed into their kiss. “That alone would sentence me to treason.” 

“Then I guess it’s a good thing we’re married.” She retorted silencing him again with another kiss. 

                                                           XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

It was at dinner that night when the first public announcement of their engagement was made. Just as dessert was served Victoria looked over to Melbourne who nodded encouragingly. Victoria cleared her throat preparing her voice to be loud before she stood up.

“I have something to announce.” 

“What is it Drina?” Her mother asked, seemingly confused by Victoria’s impromptu announcement. 

Melbourne watched Victoria and saw her begin to tremble slightly as she looked around at all the eyes watching her. He tried to offer her his strength and she seemed to gratefully take it. He nodded once more. She returned the nod and took another breath before speaking. 

“I have asked Lord Melbourne to marry me and he has agreed. We are engaged to be married with the blessing of the Privy Council.” 

Every eye turned from her to him and some were looks of astonishment. Her mother was glaring at him furiously; there were a few knowing looks from her ladies and he could only guess Victoria had told them before. He offered everyone a small smile, readying himself for the verbal assault that was surely to come from her mother. When he caught the look from Sir Robert Peel he could distinguish nothing besides reluctant acceptance and disgust. It took but only another moment for the first protest. 

“Drina are you out of your mind?! What possessed you to do such a thing? Lord Melbourne is a man of dishonor! He has corrupted you! He has already tainted you.” At her last remark, she sent a mighty glare to Melbourne who only smiled politely in reply. 

“That is where you are wrong, mama. In the future if you have any concerns about my husband to be you can talk to me in private, not around company.” Her voice was firm and authoritative, leaving no room for negotiation on the subject. 

Harriet was the first to break the tension in the room and said, “May I offer my sincerest congratulations your Majesty.”

“I am happy to hear you have found a way to marry for love, Majesty.” Her newest lady, Emily Anglesey spoke trying to set Victoria at ease. Melbourne could tell she didn’t really mean what was said but was trying to stay on Victoria’s good side. 

“You should have asked Albert to marry you Drina. You have made a mistake.” Her mother said in a low disdainful tone. 

Victoria kept her chin up and ignored her mother’s comment but sent a chilly glare her way. 

“Congratulations on your impending nuptials, ma’am.” Sir Robert mumbled. 

Others voiced their hushed congratulations, some louder than others. Victoria sat back down to eat the cherries jubilee in front of her, trying not to let everyone get to her. She looked to her husband who smiled at her proudly. She had resisted engaging on his behalf. He was incredibly proud of how she kept her head held high and her voice strong. He noticed her lips pull up in a small smile as she looked away and back to her dessert. His own lips seemed to stay pulled up in a small smile and blushed when he met Harriet’s eyes, who said their looks had not gone un-noticed and been more intimate than what was meant for guests. 

After dinner, the Duchess disappeared and Sir Robert said he could not stay longer as his wife was expecting him. Victoria allowed him to leave and then went to play a game of piquet with her ladies. 

After the ladies left, Lord Alfred was the first to approach him. “When I said she would have to marry, I did not think you would take that to imply you should marry her.” 

“I know what you meant Lord Alfred, but as you well know, the Queen is the one who must propose to anyone.” 

“Her mother is right Melbourne, she should have married Prince Albert.” Lord Alfred said with heavy disapproval dripping from his lips. 

“Perhaps, but Victoria chose who she wanted and if she was to learn of you questioning her judgement, I do not think she would reply as kindly as I am Sir. Now if you would excuse me, I believe I hear my name being called.” Melbourne replied as politely as ever, but his eyes told another story. 

“There you are, William. I was wondering where you’d gotten off to.” Victoria said, her shoulders visibly relaxing as he entered the room. 

“My apologies, I got distracted with Lord Alfred.” He said, giving her a small smile, his eyes sending her a message he hoped she’d received. 

She in reply gave him an apologetic look and he gathered from her eyes that she was in need of his support. 

The rest of the night passed with civilities and platitudes as well as the story of how Victoria asked Melbourne to marry her. She told the story of the official proposal and as she spoke Melbourne occasionally told his side of the story. Amongst her ladies, it was clear to see who was supportive of their marriage and believed in marrying for love, and those who kept a thin smile on their lips solely out of duty. When the night was over, Victoria told Lehzen to prepare a guest room for Melbourne as tomorrow they would give an official announcement to all members of the House and her subjects. 

For everyone else’s sanity, Victoria refrained from publicly saying goodnight to Melbourne with a kiss. Instead they parted with a knowing look that they would be seeing one another shortly. She whispered that Ms. Skerrett would come to his room to tell him when it was safe and help him to her room.

“Until tomorrow, ma’am.” He said, his eyes playful. 

“Tomorrow.” She agreed with a smile, returning his playful sparkle. 

Two hours later she heard the soft knock on her door, saw Melbourne slip in the door, and Skerrett close it behind him. Dash barked happily from his basket and attempted to get up to greet Melbourne but Victoria held him down and silenced the pet from alerting Lehzen in the next room.

Melbourne slipped into the bed beside her and instantly reached out to bring Victoria against him. She giggled and nuzzled her head in the crook of his neck pressing a kiss there. 

“I’ve missed you. I haven’t slept properly all week without you here.” She whined holding him tighter. 

He chuckled and pressed a kiss to her head. “I thought perhaps it was just me.” 

“No.” She affirmed settling her head on his chest. “Goodnight William.” 

“Goodnight my love.” He replied with a smile. She fell asleep quickly and for a few minutes he marveled at her and their position. He committed her scent, the weight of her head on his chest, her arm draped across his waist, and her leg entwined with his own all to memory. 

He smiled happily as he noticed the ring still on her finger and intertwined his fingers with hers before closing his eyes with his other arm holding her securely to him. He knew the path ahead would be rough, but with Victoria, moments like this would be a reality if only they continued on strong in the rough times. 

                                                        XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

The public announcement went over rather well, especially with William by her side. The House was another matter entirely. There had been much uproar and whiplash and some of the remarks were enough to make her want to cry but with a strong quick squeeze of her hand from her rock she managed to withhold the tears until they were alone. He held her close as she cried, shocked by the mean expletives that had been uttered. She wondered how William did it and let them roll of his back. He seemed almost unaffected when they’d called him various cruel things claiming him to be a wagtail, flapdoodle, hornswoggler, ratbag, and other un-pleasantries. Still, he was unshaken and she marveled at him. 

“Do not listen to them my love.” 

“I tried William. How are you not affected?” She asked through a sniffle.

“Because I know who I am and who you know me to be as well. I am quite used to the mudslinging now my dear. It hurt the first time and I endured it thinking it to be worthwhile, how much more now would I endure that for you, Victoria? My wife, the only person who’s ever truly won all my heart. I’d do anything if it meant being with you. If that means listening to some fools call me un-true things because they are incapable of seeing past their own prejudice, then I welcome it with a happy heart.” 

The tears stopped and she couldn’t help but smile at his words. “I love you. I’m lucky to have you as my husband.” 

“No. I am the lucky one.” He argued shaking his head, but she could tell he had taken the words to heart from the look in his eye. 

She went on her tip toes and kissed him soundly, the insults melting away, her vitality restored. 

                                                     XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX


	6. Duke Melbourne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love, pain, acceptance, and dukes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your continued love.

It’d been two weeks since the public announcement of their engagement, and a portion of the public were still in an uproar. Others were supportive and thought it would be nice to keep the throne English. Some believed Melbourne had somehow seduced and manipulated Victoria into proposing to him, but a slight majority believed they were truly in love and that Victoria was too stubborn to let him go and marry someone of royalty as was expected of her. The consensus, according to Harriet, was that people were weary and cautious about the impending marriage but surprisingly very supportive. 

The happy couple were able to be more publicly affectionate, holding hands and dancing more often, as well as unabashed longing gazes. They were out in public often, attempting to win people over. To show the subjects how they truly loved one another, and to show that Melbourne would make an excellent husband and was indeed worthy of marrying the Queen. 

Of course, there was still the matter of planning the wedding and attending to the matters of government. Melbourne, after all, was still an MP and as such was required to be at the House; which meant there were days they would go without seeing one another. Despite their engagement, it was still improper for him to stay at the palace overnight, consequently resulting in poor sleep for both parties. When he was able, Melbourne would be at the palace for dinner and a few card games. Occasionally, Victoria would play the piano for them all but intentionally for him. They were granted a few sacred moments alone at the end of the night, but that routine had been established long before anyone else knew. Melbourne remembered all the stolen moments on the balcony. It was in one of those sacred moments they were alone that Victoria asked a question that stayed with him the rest of the night.

“On the night of weddings, I know it is customary for man and wife to…consummate the marriage, but… I confess I am afraid.” 

Melbourne was holding her in an instant attempting to comfort her. “Why are you afraid my dear?” 

“Do not mistake my fear for rejection, as I do desire you in all ways, it is just…I…I am afraid I will not please you.” Her voice was low, almost a whisper, eyes downcast, unable to meet his gaze. 

His eyes softened and his heart broke just a little. “I fear the same thing, Victoria.” 

At his confession she raised her gaze, confused by his words. “But you are…experienced, much more so than I.” 

“Is that why you are worried? Because you think experience is required?” He asked incredulous. The reddening of her cheeks confirmed his suspicions as she looked back down at the ground. 

“Do you think either I or Caroline were experienced when we were first married? Because I assure you we both did not know what we were doing. It was messy and completely wrong, but we both learned together and knowing that we both loved each other was satisfying enough. Just because I may have more experience than you, does not mean I will bring you any more pleasure than you will bring me. You are not Caroline, you are different… _we_ are different. We’re going to learn together. I do not expect you to know what you’re doing, Victoria. I do not care about that. What I care about is us learning together, showing each other the depths of our love in a way that I have longed to show you since that day in Brocket Hall with the rooks. I have no doubt you will indeed please me simply because I love and adore you. You are my heart. Do you doubt your heart will not beat the next day? It is the same thing, you will see. Slightly different, but the principle remains. You will know what to do so long as you let your heart guide you.” 

Her cheeks were red from the nature of the conversation but her confidence had been raised. She kissed him in thanks and smiled. “You always know what to say William.”

“Years of experience after always saying the wrong things.” He explained with a playful smile. Victoria giggled and kissed him again. 

There was a knock at the door interrupting them, alerting them both that their time was up. Melbourne sighed and rest his forehead against Victoria’s. 

“I believe that is Lehzen bidding you to get ready for bed.” 

“If only she knew you’d seen me in my nightgown and have held me close while sleeping in my bed.” 

“I believe that knowledge would kill your baroness.” He mused with a smile. 

Victoria giggled and nodded her head in agreement. “I best leave before she comes in and glares mightily at you.” 

“I believe she will do that anyways upon my leaving.” He corrected her, a mischievous smile on his lips. 

“Quite possibly.” 

The atmosphere shifted from humour and took on a note of seriousness as he spoke, “I love you.”, stroking her cheek with his fingers. 

“I know.” She replied happily. “I love you too.” She mimicked his action and added, “My beautiful, handsome, husband. All mine.” 

His eyes sparkled at her words and he kissed her tenderly, savoring this final moment together. 

There was another more urgent knock on the door that for just a moment they ignored, lost in each other. With another loud knock, Melbourne was the one to pull back with a sigh.

“That is my summons I’m afraid. I’ll see you at dinner tomorrow.” He promised, squeezing her hand. 

“I’ll miss you until then. When you sleep tonight…dream of me.” Victoria requested with a nervous bite of her lip. 

“I shall dream of nothing else.” He assured with a quick peck to her lips. 

He opened the door to see Lehzen with her hand raised again to knock. She glared at him and politely he smiled and nodded his head. “Good evening, Baroness.” With a final look behind him he smiled. “Victoria.” 

“William.” She answered, watching him walk away, a smile on her lips that were near kiss-bruised, her head light from his touch. She followed Lehzen silently, mind clouded with images of what her wedding night may look like. 

                                                        XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

“I think we should wait.” Victoria said suddenly as they sat planning their wedding. 

Melbourne’s heart stopped for a moment and hesitantly he asked, “Wait?” 

“To make you King Consort.” 

He released the breath he’d been holding. “Oh, yes, that.” 

“What did you think I meant?” she asked with a laugh. 

He blushed and looked down a bit ashamed as he said, “I took your words to mean wait to be married.” 

Victoria laughed incredulously. “William, our wedding day cannot come quick enough. I cannot stand being apart from you. What possessed you to think I would ever want to wait to marry you?” 

He blushed again. “I do not know.” 

“Silly man.” She admonished kissing his cheek. “No. But I think waiting to announce you as King Consort would be beneficial.” 

“I do not need to be named King Consort or any title for that matter.” He desisted. 

“Yes, you do. But I believe if we wait it will be more well received in the future after the people see how wonderful you. Once you have built up your image as my husband in public and they see how beneficial our marriage is, I think they will be more receptive to you being King. For now,2 however, I believe elevating you to a Duke for our wedding would be enough to make others feel more comfortable with your royalty status without overstepping.” 

His brow raised, impressed with her, as he took in her words. “That’s very wise of you, ma’am.” 

“Ma’am?” She asked amused. 

“Old habits.” He answered, blushing once again, his hand becoming lost in his hair subconsciously. 

Victoria laughed aloud and took his hand pulling him to her, enabling her to kiss him soundly. “I do not mind…Lord M.” She replied, her eyes brimming with playfulness. His eyebrows raised subtly as his eyes began to reflect her own. 

As they gazed into each other eyes one common thought floated between them, ‘ _I cannot wait to be married to you’._  

                                                       XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

“I believe congratulations are in order, William.” Emma Portman said with a knowing smile announcing her presence to him in the library. 

Melbourne jumped at the sudden sound of the voice behind him. He had been completely absorbed, writing his vows, when the sudden intrusion drew him out of his head. When he saw Emma, he rolled his eyes. Who else would have dared to invite themselves in? Well…Victoria probably. 

“Emma. To what do I owe the pleasure of your unexpected visit?” 

“Just saying hello to my friend. Engagement seems to suite you well. I have not seen your face with such color and life in many years.” 

He smiled and shook his head with a soft chuckle, looking down at the floor rather than his friend’s prying gaze. “Yes well…Victoria has a way of bringing life to everything she touches.” 

“I see you’ve moved past formalities and propriety.” 

“Ah well, that’s the beauty of marriage is it not? I am no longer bound by duty to refer to her by such impersonal terms.” 

“Indeed. Though used by you, they were never impersonal to begin with.” Emma replied, her eyes shining mischievously as she took a seat in his chair. 

“Did you come here just to gossip about my life, or is there some matter of importance which drew you from the comfort of your home?” He asked exasperated. 

“Well, seeing as you are marrying our sovereign, I believe that is a matter of importance. After all…you are my friend foremost William, and my MP second.” She spoke, face softening with genuine meaning. 

“Thank you, Emma.” He replied sitting down in a chair across from her, the very one Victoria had once sat in, his mind reminded him. 

“Are you nervous?” She inquired. 

“A little. To tell you the truth…I will be more relieved. Our marriage will be legal and finally recognized by the state. All barriers for affection will finally be removed.” 

“Legal? Recognized?” Emma asked noticing his peculiar choice in words.

Melbourne blushed, and he began to wring his hands together. “Yes. We um…we first married that day she came to Brocket Hall. We both said the traditional marriage vows and agreed from that day forward no matter what, we recognized our marriage to be just as binding and permanent as any other marriage in England.” 

“William, have you…” She trailed off, her face pale, unable to say the words. 

“No!” He shouted in defense, eyes wide. “No.” He repeated, softer this time. “We have talked about it but…we’ve been waiting, hoping that our marriage would be publicly recognized and we would not be committing treason.” 

Emma breathed out a sigh of relief. “Good, good. Never the less, I am happy to see it has worked out in the end. That you both are happy. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you so in love.” 

“I don’t believe I’ve ever been so in love Emma, as I am with Victoria. I…I love her so completely. She has captured my heart and somehow I find myself unable to put my feelings into words for my vows.” 

“You are thinking too hard, William.” She enlightened, reaching out and patting his hand. “Stop trying to be eloquent and simply speak. Don’t use your brain, let the words flow from your heart…you’ve always been good at that William, leading with your heart.” 

At that he smiled, reflecting on his life and how his heart lead him to Victoria. “Thank you for the counsel, Emma.” 

“Always William. How is our little Vicky doing?” 

“She seems to be settling into a new routine with Peel well enough. She says he is a callous booby who would not know what fun or charm is if it snogged him the way she does me.” Emma laughed flamboyantly at his words and he smiled, amused himself. “She is still cautious of her new ladies; not entirely sure she can trust them and so she leans on Harriet more. She misses your friendship and feels your loss keenly. She relied on you a great deal.” 

“Indeed.” Emma spoke, her tone inflection just different enough to tell Melbourne she felt the loss as well. “You can tell the Queen my duty did not in any way reflect my inclinations.” 

“She knows that Emma. And she’s grateful for everything you did for her. I owe you a great deal as well. After all, you are the one responsible for my happy marriage.” He spoke, eyes smiling just as brightly as the one on his lips. “I am forever in your debt.”

“Nonsense, William. I was all too happy to play a part in your painfully obvious romance. The Queen did seem to disappear for a portion of time too large not long after your departure to be completely inconspicuous. I picked up on it quite quickly.” 

He stayed silent, but his cheeks and eyes gave him away. She patted his knee and winked. “Your secret is safe with me.” At that she stood up and fixed her bonnet. “Well, I must be going. I am meeting Robert for lunch and am already late. I wanted to stop by first to see how you were doing.” 

“I thank you for your company. Victoria is not the only one to have missed you.” 

“Oh, I have no doubt I will be seeing you both in the future.” She replied, that same mischievous, knowing, smile on her lips as she made her departure from the library. Melbourne laughed and shook his head. Emma was quite the odd friend, he mused. 

He went back to his desk and with a deep breath and closed eyes, re-focused himself to finish writing his vows. Taking Emma’s counsel, he didn’t think about the words he wrote and simply wrote them finding it flowing from him just as she’d said it would. 

                                                         XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

The following evening just before dinner Victoria requested a ride out in the landau with her beloved. It had become somewhat of a routine for them. Once a week before dinner, they would ride out to endear themselves to the people and show her subjects that they both loved each other dearly. It was an hour in which they could speak privately without curious ears itching to hear gossip. 

With the hand hidden by the carriage they held each other while waving with the other, genuine smiles on their faces as they talked amiably with one another. 

“You’re so beautiful.” William found himself saying as the setting sun caught her in a particular light. Her smile was amplified and her whole frame seemed almost angelic. She was so focused on him that she did not see the sudden darkness attempting to blot out her light. Just beyond her William saw an arm raise and heard the report of a gun not a moment after he pulled her down into the seat and swung his body over her own. 

Their screams were drowned out by the ringing in his ear and his own cries to the driver to get them to safety. He felt Victoria clutching the hem of his coat, her small frame shaking in his embrace as he held her down. 

They were speeding back to the palace and it was not till they arrived and the adrenaline began to wear down that he began to feel tired and in pain. He must have pulled a muscle with his quick movements. The driver quickly told the footman what happened and Melbourne instructed for a Doctor to be called and the Queen checked for injury immediately. Her ladies were coming out of the palace to escort them back inside when William stood up and felt himself sway. When he moved his arm out to steady himself, there was such a sharp pain that he cried out. His vision began to blur in and out of focus as he looked down to see a large stain on his coat. 

“Victoria.” He said breathlessly. She turned to look at him just moments before he collapsed in the carriage. 

                                                          XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

William awoke screaming as the surgeon began pulling the bullet from his shoulder. The bullet itself was poorly made and had fragmented upon impact. All he could feel was overwhelming, mind numbing pain as his hazy vision connected with the piece of shrapnel the surgeon was holding and once again he blacked out. Four times he awoke screaming seeing the same thing before passing out again after only moments of consciousness. 

When he awoke the next time, his bleary eyes could barely make out the person sitting beside him. His subconscious supplied his brain with the missing pieces and told him who was there. Victoria. He knew her well enough to only need a silhouette in order to make her out. It took another minute for his vision to clarify to see the scene in front of him properly. Victoria laid asleep with her head on the bed, hand holding his (rather tightly too) and her body slumped over in a chair.

He looked down at his own body and saw that his chest was bare. There was only a bandage covering his wound (a rather bloody one that was needing to be changed if you asked him) and cloth tied around his arm and shoulder keeping his arm securely to his chest. 

He was vaguely aware of a dull pain in his shoulder and speculated that they had given him heavy doses of opiods. He opened his mouth to try and get Victoria’s attention but found his mouth dry and rather than words a faint sound came out. Instead he squeezed her hand rather hard a couple times until she roused, hazy and unaware of what had woken her up. He squeezed again and watched as understanding struck like lightening. 

“William!” She cried jumping out of her chair. Tears rushed to her eyes and began to caress her face.

He opened his mouth to attempt to soothe her but once again nothing came out. He looked around, Victoria following his wandering eyes until they landed on the pot of water that had been used to clean the blood off his chest. 

“Water?” She asked him through tears. “You’re thirsty?” He nodded his head gently, trying not to disturb his shoulder. She quickly walked over to the pot and basin and searched around for a glass to pour the remainder of clean water into. She brought it back over and held the glass to his lips, smacking away his hand that tried to reach for it. “Let me help you. You’ve done enough for me.” She instructed her voice losing its firmness at the end as she remembered watching him collapse, his screams penetrating her soul. The tears renewed and she could barely see his face through them. He drank the whole glass and cleared his throat, before attempting to speak again. 

“I’d do it again.” He rasped out. 

“You most certainly will not.” She all but yelled, eyes blazing with fury. “You nearly died from the surgery alone.” 

“Better me than you.” He simply replied. 

“How can you say that?!” 

“Because you are the Queen, and I am but a cog in the machine. Small, insignificant. My death would be meaningless.”

“How dare you!” She yelled, anger shaking her small frame. “How dare you say that to me.” 

“It is the truth, ma’am.” He said gently, unable to meet her eyes as he slipped into muscle memory. 

“Don’t call me that! Not now. I am not a student in need of a lecture! I am a woman in mourning! I nearly lost the man I love, my husband, my world; the most important man in all of England. Stop belittling yourself and subsequently my affections. You are not insignificant nor meaningless. I have watched you suffer, heard your screams, felt your pain and I thought news of your death would drive me to become my grandfather. I have known grief like never before, far worse than anything I could have dreamed and I would not wish such soul-wrenching emptiness on my worst enemy. You are the center of my world and to lose you would be tantamount to my own death. You hold the lifeblood of this very nation in your hands. Your heart is connected to the life of all of England because your heart is my own.” Victoria was heaving with emotion when she finished talking, her breath exhausted from the strength with which she spoke. Her eyes shone bright with the rage and grief that had begun to consume her. 

William stayed silent in reply. He had been struck speechless and consumed by her words. Emotion began to rise up and catch in his throat. His own eyes became teary and he said only, “I’m sorry.” 

It was then that her strength drained and she climbed into the bed beside him curling against his side and beginning to sob on his chest, careful not to hurt him further. 

With his one arm he held her and kissed her head only able to utter the words, “I’m sorry. I love you.”, as she cried and let him be strong this time so she no longer had to. 

They stayed like that for an undeterminable amount of time, him constantly repeating those words as he silently cried and she cried loudly, exhausting herself of the emotions she’d kept pent up. 

                                                   XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

When he awoke in the morning it was because of pain, but he was distracted by the soft breathing beside him. There was a heavy weight on his chest that he identified as Victoria’s head and without the drugs numbing him, her weight was causing him pain. 

“Victoria.” He said softly, biting his lip to resist crying out. “Victoria.” He uttered again squeezing her waist. 

She released a hum and nuzzled her head closer to his wound. This time he could not withhold the yelp. His cry awoke her and she quickly got off of him looking on in shock, guilt flooding through her. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s…okay.” He panted, trying to breathe through the pain and ease her mind. 

“I’ve hurt you again. I’m sorry.” She said quickly, her eyes clouding with tears.

“No, no. My love you have done no such thing. The medicine has simply worn off and I am in need of more. My bandage needs to be changed and re-cleaned as well.” 

“I’ll go and get the Doctor.” 

“You must be careful. Though I am injured and incapable of doing any such activity, people will still be suspicious if they find you never left my room last night.” He cautioned, ever the voice of reason. 

Victoria nodded and quickly left, in search of the Doctor she’d instructed to stay in the Palace in case they needed him at a moment’s notice. When she returned it was not a moment too soon. The pain had begun to worsen and he had begun to sweat in concentration of not shouting. When he was once again injected with the drugs he began to settle minutes after. The lines on his face softened and he began to breathe easier. It was not as labored nor painful. 

Guilt began to eat at her conscience but Victoria could not find it in her to leave him. Sir Robert and dispatches would have to wait. She could not focus on anything but her husband that had escaped death by the skin of his teeth. The Doctor left after cleaning and changing out the bandage, staying silent about the fact that his patient was quite indecent for Victoria to be present. 

“William, I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” 

“Stop apologizing. This is not your fault. You are in no way responsible for my injury.” 

“You were shot. It should have been me.” She said softly, the tears pouring down her face. 

“And if you had been shot, do you suppose I would be faring any better than you? Had I not intervened, I would have watched that bullet tear through your skull and watched you die.” He snapped. “I will never let that happen, not if I can protect you with my own body instead.” 

Victoria said nothing in reply. She hadn’t even thought of where the bullet would have connected with her, but he was right. Of course he was. She would have had no fighting chance. She would have died there instantly had he not sacrificed himself. Silently she crawled into the bed beside him again and kept a safe distance choosing instead to reach out and caress his face with her fingers, to comb through his hair, place gentle kisses over his face. 

“Thank you.” She whispered before kissing his lips. 

William groaned as she began to kiss him with more fervor. “Victoria.” He moaned after one particular heated kiss. “Stop.” He said in warning. She did not listen and instead continued kissing him, her hand raking through his hair.

With every bit of self-restraint he could muster he took hold of her hand and pulled his face back. He watched her eyes blink open in surprise. She’d become so lost in him that he’d brought her crashing back down. 

“Look at what you’re doing to me darling.” He said nodding his head towards his torso. 

She looked down and blushed seeing a bulge in the sheets. “Sorry.” She said sheepishly, putting some distance between them. 

He chuckled and said, “Soon, you won’t need to apologize for that.”

“I got carried away.” She explained, her face a brilliant red. 

“I can see that.” He replied with an easy smile.

Victoria bit her lip and glanced down at his torso again. “What…how…I did that?” She asked innocently, not understanding. 

“You do this to me frequently as it is. I just am better at hiding it and before now you did not know to look for it.”

“What…is it?” She asked having an idea but not understanding. 

He smiled and answered, “It’s the pleasure a wife brings to her husband. And when finally, we are married in a matter of months I’ll explain it more then.” 

Victoria nodded and gave a small smile, content with his answer. She lay beside him and watched as he soon fell asleep again. 

                                                   XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

William’s recovery was by no means swift and easy. The wound that the doctor had so carefully cleaned had become infected and as a result the skin had been burned to prevent further infection. It had also been made known that the bullet had fragmented due to impact with bone which had also left a fracture on part of his shoulder blade. The fracture caused more pain when moved which left William laid up in bed with heavy dosages of medicine. Victoria thought they had a rather funny effect on him as every time he would gush about how beautiful she was and how much he loved her. Occasionally they made him rather brazen about the kinds of things he wanted to do to her the moment they’d married that day in Brocket Hall with the rooks echoing their praise of such a joyous union. 

It took weeks before he began to get up and take walks around the palace with Victoria. William’s injury had been very advantageous for them, in that due to his condition of being unable to move and the doctors instructing it best for his health to remain in the palace under constant supervision, it gave Victoria the chance to sneak to his rooms and sleep beside him. 

For all the pain and suffering Victoria and William went through, the country began to see their engagement in a new light. Papers told the tale of the selfless viscount who’d thrown himself in front of death’s door so that Victoria would be out of harm. Hearts softened at the news of how the man had almost died in surgery all because he loved the Queen so much. 

Because of where his rooms were located he could not hear nor see the people that would gather outside the palace, but Victoria could and what she heard warmed her heart. She would awake to cries of ‘God save Lord Melbourne’ and similar sentiments. Occasionally she also would hear cries to bless the marriage between the two of them. It never ceased to bring her to tears. Though he’d nearly been taken from her, and her heart broken, the country once divided was now united in their support of such a marriage between a man of selfless honour and a woman too much in love to care about his title. 

When it came time for William to be made duke a month later he no longer wore the sling and his shoulder was nearly healed. The country believed him worthy of having such a title; he had earned it after putting his life on the line. There was a large gathering that came to see the ceremony and Victoria swelled to know that her people loved her husband just as much as she did. Finally, they were beginning to see who she knew he was all along. 

                                                XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX


	7. Overwhelmed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> William and Victoria are married at long last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well would you look at that. Two chapters in a day. Must be some kind of record for me. Thank you guys so much for all the love you keep pouring my way. I greatly appreciate it.

Finally. The day had arrived. Four months had passed since the announcement and today marked the day of their wedding. Both members were a jumble of nerves and excitement, fear and desire, joy and dread. Victoria feared tripping during her walk to the altar; William feared forgetting his vows and stuttering. Victoria dreaded her mother and uncle’s words and perhaps a stranger yelling their protest in the middle of vows. William dreaded the same, but worse, he dreaded the insults that may be hurled at Victoria. She kept a strong face in public and tried not to let it show that their words affected her, but they cut deeply. 

William was being fastened into his Windsor uniform by his valet in the palace at the same time Victoria was having her corset tightened. It was during this time that both person’s dread came to fruition. King Leopold stepped foot into his chamber while Victoria’s mother stepped into hers. He knew that if Leopold had come to talk to him that Victoria was likely going to receive a similar speech. His heart clenched. He hated how they kept hurting her. All they continued to do was push and push and soon it would be their own fault when Victoria lashed out, finally tired of the abuse.

“Ah Lord Melbourne- my apologies, Duke, I hoped I might find you here.” Leopold spoke, his tone just as condescending as William remembered all those months ago. 

“Is there something I can help you with, your Majesty?” He asked, trying to maintain propriety and not let his utter annoyance be displayed. 

“I wondered if I might have a word with you…in private.” Withholding a growl, he kept his face plain letting no emotion show as he dismissed the others in the room. 

As soon as the last person had disappeared and the door was closed, Leopold’s niceties dropped. “I know you are a man of principle, but what you are doing is not honourable. You have taken advantage of a young girl and seduced her to forego all sense and propriety; to throw away her dignity and find some loophole that allows her to propose to you.” 

“The fact you believe that, your Majesty, shows that you do not know the first thing about your niece. She chooses her own path and no one, not even myself, is capable of steering her toward something she does not want. I attempted to push Victoria away and she would have none of it. She fell in love and so did I. I know I am not the man you and her mother wanted her to marry, nor did I myself believe to be worthy of her…but Victoria taught me something. She taught me that worth is not always determined the same way. Her worth as a Queen is immense, but her worth as a woman is even more so because her perspective and her mind is what has lead this nation. And whilst young she may be, that does not make her unworthy. As such, my background and my social standing may very well not be ideal, but such things do not make me unworthy of her love as I once believed. In fact, she believes me to not only be worthy but deserving of her affection. I marvel at the fact she chose me, but that is exactly what she did, King Leopold. She _chose_ me. Of her own free will. I did not seduce her. I did not manipulate her. The only joy I ever took was in seeing her step fully into her role as a Queen. The one thing you cannot claim is that Victoria was not in her right mind when she proposed to me. There was no advantage on either side except perhaps hers as she stole my heart without permission. Now, if you are here to ask me to leave her at the altar and to not say ‘I do’, I’m afraid your efforts have been in vain, your Majesty. We look forward to seeing you at the Chapel, Sir.” William spoke, his anger taking charge of his words before walking out of the room, needing to be as far away from the Belgian King as possible. 

He found himself out on the balcony, taking deep breaths, trying to channel the excitement and joy he had felt before, expelling the anger. Today was meant to be happy. By the end of the day he and Victoria would be one in every way. That very thought softened his anger and made him smile. He spent a few minutes out on the balcony before returning inside to finish dressing, his mind re-centered on the ceremony to come. 

He focused on his vows and took a deep breath, letting the valet continue to fasten him in the coat. He was not going to let Leopold disturb what would be the happiest day of his life. 

                                                     XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

Victoria was trembling with rage, her lips curled in an undignified fury. She wanted to scream from the top of her lungs and send her mother to the tower. Insults to her character she could handle, she’d grown accustomed to receiving such insults while at Kensington; but insults about the character of her husband and his faithfulness, that was something she would not tolerate. She stood and listened to her mama’s tirade about the critical error in marriage she was making, how she would shame her father’s name and her own. She even listened to the rant about how it was her duty as Queen to marry royalty and set an example. But the moment her mother implied William was a man of dishonor who would leave her for another the moment he took away her innocence, to seek out a woman with far more experience and a disreputable position, one who could truly please him, that was as far as Victoria allowed it go and in that moment she snapped. 

Driven by a passionate rage she verbally decimated her mother and cut the remaining thread their relationship had been tethered by. Her mother ran out of the room in tears, and Victoria went to the window of her room pacing, trying to rid herself of the adrenaline driven by anger. 

“Lehzen!” She called out, voice loud and tone short. The baroness entered the room and rushed to her side. 

“Yes, Majesty?” She asked with a bow. 

“Bring me Duke Melbourne, now. I don’t care about tradition or rules or bloody decorum. I need him here at present. No delay.” The look in her eye left Lehzen with no room to argue and she rushed out of the room just as quickly to find Melbourne. Ten minutes passed and Victoria felt just as angry, unable to stop pacing or rid herself of the anger. She did not want to be rash and the only person capable of bringing her back to reason was her sweet husband with his soothing voice and gentle touch. 

“His Grace, Duke Melbourne, your Majesty.” Lehzen announced upon entering the room again, William right behind her. 

Victoria turned around and as soon as she saw him her anger fled and was replaced by grief. She ran to him, in only her corset and petticoat, bare feet pounding the floor as she threw herself into his arms, tears streaming down her face, sobs wracking her body.

“My darling.” He said quietly, holding her tightly. His heart was devastated at how broken she appeared. In that moment, he felt a hatred for her mother he’d never experienced. He wondered what things the Duchess had spoken to bring Victoria to such a state. She had been the one who had adamantly enforced not seeing one another until the ceremony and yet she’d broken it in desperation for his comfort. 

“Shh, it’s alright my love.” He soothed, rubbing circles on her back, holding her tightly to his chest as she continued to clutch him and sob. For minutes, he could get no word from her, tears pouring down her face just as heavily as when he’d first entered the room. Slowly he listened as her sobs became sniffles and her grip on him loosened. 

“I’m sorry.” She spoke finally, her voice raspy and hoarse from crying. 

“It is I who am I sorry. I was not here to protect you.” 

“Nor could you have been. It is not your fault, William.” She assured shaking her head, knowing he felt some level of guilt for her mother’s hurtful words. 

“Do you wish to speak about it?” 

“No.” She voiced softly. 

He kissed her head in reply and held her close. They stood there silently, Victoria closing her eyes and breathing in his scent, grounding herself with the weight of his hands on her sides that were keeping her secure against his chest. She sniffled every so often and wiped at her face, feeling the tears begin to itch her face. William began to hum a lullaby to her in their embrace. It was one he often would sing to his son at night to pacify the frightened and upset boy. 

“Thank you.” Victoria murmured when his song had finished.

“Anything to give my wife ease of mind.” He replied contentedly. 

Victoria pulled herself from his embrace and leaned up on her tip toes to kiss his forehead, pulling his head down to her. He smiled when she released him understanding she wanted their first kiss of the day to be at the ceremony. 

Feeling better Victoria smiled and said, “You have permission to withdraw my good husband. I must finish getting ready for our wedding.” 

Melbourne smiled and bowed continuing with the role Victoria had stepped into. “Of course, milady.” 

Victoria giggled at him and matched his smile as he exited the room and sent her ladies in. With a deep breath, she steadied herself and focused her attention back to dressing. She did have somewhere to be and someone who would be standing there waiting for her to say, ‘I do’. 

XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

When the music began playing Melbourne found himself in a daze. When she came into his view upon a stolen glance his knees felt weak and his vision blurred. It was a dream. This all had to be a dream. Discreetly he pinched himself in an attempt to wake up, but found himself rooted in the exact same place as he’d been before. It wasn’t a dream. His throat felt suddenly dry standing in the Chapel Royal. He concluded that there must be a God because he was about to be married to Victoria. To the Queen of England. Him. A Viscount turned Duke. A man marred by scandal and gossip. A man who had done no good deed worthy enough to marry a woman of high standing such as Victoria. He was old and worn, yet somehow Victoria found him to be desirable. He was her sole desire and he marveled at how she could have fallen in love with someone like him. He was in complete awe at the lengths she went to for them to be standing in this place, about to pledge themselves to one another for the rest of their lives. She would no doubt have a longer life, but any moment with her was worth more than any years of his life before she entered it. 

Suddenly she was standing beside him and he had to blink twice, how had she gotten there so fast? Or was he so lost in his thoughts that she’d indeed been walking slowly, but too fast for his mind to comprehend. Her smile was blinding and it was directed at him. Her eyes sparkled with such joy and vigor he wondered once again how he had made her feel such things for him. He was the one responsible for her bright smile, for her adoring eyes, for her gentle caress of his hand. His eyes brimmed with tears and he saw the confusion filter through Victoria’s eyes. He assuaged her with a smile, assuring her that such tears were not out of sadness, but complete joy and satisfaction. Her dress was beautiful, but it was nothing compared to the joy she wore on her face. The jewels that sparkled on her skin did not come close to her smile. He was mesmerized by her and it wasn’t until he was nudged did he snap out of his stupor. 

“Your vows, Sir.” The Archbishop said again in courtesy. 

William smiled in thanks to the man and took a deep breath. He met Victoria’s eyes again and his heart leapt into his throat. He opened his mouth but no words came out. He closed his mouth and eyes, took another breath and tried again. 

“Victoria…” He smiled, the knowledge that there were other people around slipped from his mind as he focused in on her. Speaking became easier then as he recited the words from his heart. “You chose to love me but in loving you I had no such choice. You stole my heart the moment we met. I tried not to love you; I tried to push you away but my yearning grew stronger. The more I knew you the more I loved you against my will. Now, I embrace it as you have embraced me. I vow to cherish you with my every breath, to love you boldly, to honour you above my own desires, to comfort you in times of need, to strengthen you when you feel weak, to devote my life to the pursuit of your happiness rather than my own, and to serve you faithfully, committing myself to no one but you for the rest of my life as a rook.” 

He observed how Victoria’s eyes were filled with tears. He would have felt guilty had it not been for the smile stretching her lips. The Archbishop spoke again, but he could have very well been speaking German to William as his ears did not comprehend a single word. It was only when Victoria began speaking did his ears begin to work again. His eyes were glued to Victoria and the beautiful crown of orange blossoms she wore, matching her ring. 

“William Lamb Melbourne, you came into my life and everything in my world went from black and white to colour. My world became filled with joy and laughter. Over time your kindness and compassion, as well as your sense of duty, drew me to your heart. The only time I ever feel whole is when I am with you. It was all I could do to keep my heart from leaping out my chest and into your hands. It was when my life was threatened that I realized something, and it was that I did not want to die nor live without you by my side for the rest of my years. You are my heart and my soul and I vow to cherish your heart the way you cherish mine. I vow to love you well with every heart beat, and to honour you. I solemnly swear to remain faithful to you alone in sickness and health, to obey and uphold you, until death I do depart. In the presence of Almighty God, I make this vow.” 

William felt the sting of tears burning in his eyes, few having escaped their confines and run down his face. His heart had never felt so full and he wished to kiss her then without waiting for the Archbishop to finish. He knew there was no part in which it was said he could kiss her, but he figured it best to wait until the man was done speaking and had pronounced them man and wife. He noticed the same energy in Victoria, as they continued to gaze at one another, vision never wavering. Finally, it was time for the rings and William took it off the Bible putting it back on Victoria’s finger where it belonged. 

“With this ring, I thee wed. With my words and my touch, I thee worship. With all my worldly goods I thee endow, in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.” He spoke, reciting the words he had once repeated to Caroline, altering them slightly to be unique to Victoria. 

“I pronounce that they be man and wife together.” 

Both Victoria and William broke out in smiles and for a moment they only gazed at one another before they could withhold themselves no longer. He cupped her face and drew her into a kiss, tender and languid. He cut himself off seconds later minding the people around them. Victoria only smiled, and he felt himself in a haze. He was married to the most wonderful woman on Earth, and she’d fought for the right to marry him. They held hands and walked out of the church together, smiling brightly, unable to keep their eyes apart for longer than a few seconds. 

 _I married Victoria. I married a Queen...the Queen._ The thought stole his breath away and he did not seem to breathe again until in a carriage alone with his wife, headed for the Palace. 

They had no sooner departed from the public eye than Victoria assailed his lips. He laughed at her quickness but gave into her moments later, joyful to be bound to her in such a way that this intimacy between them was now not only permitted but expected. 

“I love you.” She said in between kisses. 

“I. Love. You. Too.” He replied, his words broken as Victoria would not allow her lips to part from his long enough for a whole sentence to be said. 

Her lips were swollen by the time they arrived to the palace. Melbourne had been fighting the urge to consummate their new stately marriage in the carriage. The fire had been burning for months and only increased in intensity the moment they married their souls together and again when he had been on death’s door. He could feel Victoria’s desire for complete intimacy in the way she kissed him. He attempted to placate the fire within her until they were away at Brocket Hall, where they would spend three days away. First, however, they had to get through the reception and he had no doubt they would indeed enjoy themselves; but all he wanted was to love her in body, to shower her in affection, to place kisses along her untouched skin, to awaken her to the pleasure that came with marriage. 

As they walked inside the palace together, hands held firmly, he rubbed the pattern of a heart into the skin of her hand with his thumb. 

“You are my husband.” Victoria said breathlessly, breaking the silence, revelation hitting her the same way it had him. 

“I am.” He affirmed, a proud smile on his lips as his heart leapt at the words. 

“My _husband_.” She repeated, awestruck. Her next step staggered and she gripped him tighter. 

“Victoria, are you alright?” He asked stopping their movement and turning to her. 

“I’m more than alright I’m…I’m wonderful! You are my husband; how could I be anything less than wonderful?” Her voice cracked as he watched tears appear in her eyes. She was so overwhelmed with joy and relief that the only way she could release it was through tears. 

He squeezed her hand and kissed her forehead, understanding that she was in fact alright but overcome with strong emotion. He felt the same. It all seemed too good to be true. They had each other and that seemed too high a prize to have without being wrongfully won. But their marriage was legal, he reminded himself. It had been (more or less) approved by the Privy Council and much accepted by her subjects. 

When they arrived in the ball room minutes later, Victoria now stable and once again presentable, they marveled at the grand cake. He had seen his share of wedding cakes, and indeed his own had been nice but this one…it left him at a loss for words. It seemed to leave Victoria in a similar state. They shared a dance and went around to all those present, chatting amiably, until an acceptable period passed in which the reception could end and they could make the journey to Brocket Hall. The carriage was loaded and they boarded quickly. As excited as Victoria was to leave, she could not leave without first saying goodbye to Dash and having Harriet and Lehzen promise they would take excellent care of her furry friend. William said his own goodbyes to the spaniel and promised they would return to him soon. 

Once inside the carriage they waved goodbye to all the people standing outside, the palace growing smaller as they drove further away. There were people outside in the Mall cheering for them as they drove past as well. Both waved to the people and smiled, the atmosphere charged with excitement. When finally they were out in the country night began to fall and Victoria began to feel impatient. Melbourne could feel her impatience rolling off in waves and he placed a hand on her knee in effort to assuage her. 

“You’re moving just as restlessly as Dash.” 

“I do not know why I feel this way.” She confessed. 

“I think I know why. You have waited months for this and now that we are legally married you do not wish to wait a moment longer to experience what has been denied so long. Peace, be still. I promise you our time will come.” 

She smiled and kissed his cheek. “I am sorry.” 

“Do not apologize. I feel the same way. I am just able to mask it better.” 

She blushed and looked out the window at the trees rolling past. “I hope we are almost there.” 

“Almost, my love.” He assured her gently. “Almost.” 

                                                       XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

When they arrived, they were directed to the dining room to eat dinner as their luggage was brought into the bedroom they would be sharing. The very thought was enough to make Victoria’s pulse race. Dinner was a small affair and were it not for William being famished, Victoria would have eaten much too fast and made herself sick. She thanked him, and he reminded her of the vows he’d made. With a smile, she ducked her head and began to eat slower, determined not to let her impatience and nerves ruin their night. When they finished, Melbourne showed her around the palace, telling her a story about each room of when he’d been a child. He ended the tour with their bedroom being the final room. 

“What’s behind this door?” Victoria asked curiously. 

“Our future.” He replied softly. Victoria’s features twisted in confusion. “Behind this door is the moment I show you the full extent of my love for you.” 

Her breath hitched, her eyes widened slightly, and she gulped. “Are you ready?” He asked, a hand on her side. 

She nodded. “Yes.”

With a smile, he pushed the door open and allowed her to walk in first before following, turning around and closing the door, locking it in place.

                                                    XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX


	8. Blissful Marriage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honeymoon & Pregnancy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys and all your sweet words to me. Thank you for taking the time to do it.

Morning ushered in the songs of the rooks flying around Brocket Hall; their joyful noise serenading the ears of the two lovers tucked away in bed. The echo of birds singing drew William from his peaceful slumber, his wife laid across his chest. It took a moment for consciousness to wash over him and for memories to fire up his synapses. When realization dawned, he looked down to see Victoria still holding him with an arm, her head perched on his chest, as she loved to do. His heart skipped a beat as he was overcome with joy. This woman laying vulnerable in his arms was his wife. It seemed impossible to wrap his head around the idea that this was his new reality. Waking up every morning with Victoria on his chest, going to sleep with her by his side, unveiling to her the pleasures of marriage. It seemed like the greatest honour in his life to be by her side and teach her such things. 

He stroked the expanse of her back lightly with his fingertips, trying not to wake her. It was still yet early and they had been up late. He suspected when she awoke her muscles would be sore and she may just want to lie in bed a while, savoring their first morning together. 

He continued to trail his fingers along her smooth skin, unable to resist moving his head to kiss her hair. She held him tighter and nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck in response. He chuckled and held her again, content to just lay there and feel her weight on him. His wife. His lover. There was a passion that had awoken from deep within last night, and he began to feel the embers burn again. 

He lay still for almost an hour before Victoria began to stir from her sleep. The intake of breath alerted him to her consciousness before he felt a kiss pressed to his neck. 

“Good morning.” She mumbled through her sleep haze. 

“It is indeed.” 

Victoria hummed a laugh against his throat, her eyes still closed. “I never want to move from this spot.” 

“Nor me.” 

“My body hurts.” She grumbled moving her head and cracking one eye open to look at him. 

“I suspected as much.” 

“Is this normal then?” She inquired, closing her eyes again. 

“Quite, my dear. Your body is not accustomed to such activity.” 

Victoria giggled before replying, “I am glad I have you to help me become accustomed to such activity then. I rather enjoyed it.” 

“I told you that you had nothing to be afraid of.” William answered kissing her forehead. 

“No…I did not.” She opened her eyes fully and looked at him, a smile of reverence and happiness etched on her face. There was a comfortable silence between the two as Victoria became more conscious and brushed her fingers lightly over the scar on his chest where he’d saved her life. 

Minutes elapsed by in silence before Victoria asked, “Tell me…what are your thoughts on repeating last night’s activities, at present?” 

William’s eyes widened. “I thought you were not feeling well.” 

“I am well enough. I should like to experience my husband again this morning however.” 

“Is that an order, your Majesty?” He asked playfully. 

“It is, Lord M. Are your going to disobey your sovereign?” She challenged, raising an eyebrow. 

He grinned. “I find it impossible to refute an order direct from the crown, ma’am.” 

“Good, then the matter is settled.” She answered confidently, moving her head up to kiss him. 

“Indeed.” He replied as she kissed him. 

                                                      XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

After breakfast, they went for a walk in the gardens before visiting the rooks. As they walked hand in hand, memories flooded back of a day months past. 

“We were standing just over there when we married the first time.” Victoria remembered happily, pointing to the statue. 

“I remember.” He spoke softly. “It was the day I felt something within me change, and a desire for you was brought to life that has since consumed me and come to fruition as of last night.”

“William…” She paused, seemingly lost in thought. 

“Yes, my love?” He asked in response. 

“Will you dance with me?” She turned her head to look at him, imploring him to agree. 

“Here?” He asked, brows raising in surprise from the question. 

Victoria only nodded, a silent plea on her lips. He acquiesced and offered her his hand before they begun to spin around the clearing, the rooks singing overhead, sun shining brightly on them as the trees blew with the gentle spring breeze. 

She spun freely in the breeze and William swore he’d never seen such a beautiful sight. She was carefree and happy, swaying with the wind as the sun shone down highlighting her blush filled cheeks that told she’d been awakened to the pleasures of love and marriage. She laughed as they danced and closed her eyes, letting him lead her, trusting him to not mis-step and send them tumbling. The image was enough to stop his heart. This beautiful woman was his. His wife, his life; and he was the source of the colour in her cheeks, the smile on her lips, and the joy overflowing from her heart spilling forth from her lips in giggles. 

“I love you.” He gushed. 

She laughed as he pulled her to him and let his words seep deep into her bones, rewriting her core DNA of who she was. She was his. She was his wife, his love. And she returned his love whole heartedly. It was all she could do. Her very being cried out for him, for his love. It was a part of who she was. 

“I love you too, William; with every inch of my being.”

He smiled teasingly and replied, “I don’t believe you have very many of those, my dear.” 

Victoria laughed in jest and lightly smacked his chest. He chuckled in turn and kissed her lightly, the sun bathing them in it’s warm glow. 

“It is such a beautiful day, is it not? It is as if God and the whole world agrees with our marriage.” 

“Indeed.” 

Victoria closed her eyes and smiled breathing in the crisp country air as the wind gently shook the leaves of the trees and caressed her hair, entangling its’ fingers within her loose plaits. “Isn’t it just magical?” She asked opening her eyes again to find he husband’s glued to her with the most peculiar look in his eyes. “What is it?” She asked amused. 

“Nothing.” 

“That look is not nothing.” She disagreed with a laugh.

“I just…I was struck by your beauty is all.” Victoria blushed and gave a small smile, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I find myself in awe of you quite often.” She divulged. 

“I am old and worn, you are young and beautiful. I do not see the appeal.” He dissented with a shake of his head. 

Victoria stretched up on her toes and took his face in her hands. “Do you want to know what I see?” She implored. He looked at her curiously in response. “I see a man whose spirit has undergone great turmoil and somehow emerged from it alive. I see a man whose eyes look upon me as though I am the only one who walks this earth; as though I am a woman, not solely a Queen. I see a man whose heart has endured great pain and sorrow yet gave what he had left to me without hesitation. I see a man who showers me in kisses saturated with love. I see a man who speaks kindly and feels most deeply, yet does not withhold truth. I see someone with whom I love completely and am honoured to call husband and someday soon…the father of my children, the future heirs to the throne.” 

“You see all that?” He croaked. 

“I do. And you should too.” She replied with utmost conviction kissing him soundly, an outpouring of her joyous love. “Come.” She beckoned, grabbing his hand and pulling him into motion to continue their walk around Brocket Hall. 

                                                      XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

Not a moment was wasted in the time at Brocket Hall. Victoria was keen to utilize every minute with her husband during their honeymoon. Whether it be riding horses (much to her discomfort), listening to William read about John Chrysostom in the library as she painted him, taking walks around the house as he regaled her with tales of his youth, dancing under the stars, playing piano concerts of Mozart, resting on the couch in the library while holding one another close, or learning one another more intimately (which happened quite often); they made sure not to let a single moment go to waste. Not for a moment were they ever apart, much to their immense delight. 

Every night Victoria requested to dance with him before going to their room where they would partake in a different kind of dance. Brocket Hall was their own bubble of happiness that nothing from the outside world could penetrate. All manner of business was refused at the door as Victoria was insistent she have three full days of no distractions and no government business until they returned to the Palace. It truly felt like a break from her role as Queen, one where all she had to focus on being was a woman in love with her husband. It was simple and organic, there was no need for propriety or certain manners. Here, isolated at Brocket Hall, there was no need to put on a front. They could show affection freely, love without reserve, and simply be. 

On their final night together, they went outside for a walk around the glasshouse that housed the orchids Victoria had become fond of. William cut her off a flower and adorned it in her hair. She kissed him in thanks and asked they dance amongst the flowers. He’d started to become accustomed to her asking and though he did not understand the reasons behind it, he took immense delight in the sparkle of her eyes upon his words of agreement. 

As they waltzed around the orchids and gardenias, he finally inquired as to the reason behind her continuous request. 

“Why do you wish to dance every night?” 

“Do you not remember?” She questioned, a flash of disappointment in her eyes.

“I…” He floundered for words not wanting to lie, but wishing to take away the hurt behind her gaze. Guilt washed over him as he tried and failed to remember. 

“The night of my coronation ball, I said that I wished I could dance with you every night.” 

The memory was recalled and the scene replayed behind his eyes. “Yes. It was the first night we kissed.” 

She nodded. “Now that we are married, I can dance with you every night. Unless this is something that you do not enjoy.” 

“No! No!” He yelled aghast. “I delight in dancing with you. I was not suggesting that I want to stop, merely curious as to why. I love that you want to dance every night, and we will. Every night.” 

“Really?” She asked, the hurt banished from her eyes and replaced with hope. 

“Yes.” He promised, a smile on his lips. Victoria pushed herself up and kissed him passionately, her fingers tightly wound through his hair keeping him in her reach. 

“Take me to bed William.” She commanded, bold and breathless. He smiled, breathless himself at her newfound confidence, and took her by the hand.

XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

As they rode in the carriage away from Brocket Hall and back to London, Victoria looked back feeling a sense of loss. She could live carefree and happy there, but as soon as she returned she would be Queen again, and every eye would be back on her, on them. She sighed and curled into her husband’s side, laying her head against his chest. 

“Can’t we just go back and stay there forever?” 

He hummed in agreement. “You are needed. Your people need you.” 

“What about what I need?” She protested. 

He kissed her head. “It will not always be so burdensome. You have me and your ladies.” 

“All I really need is you. So long as you are by my side, I will be capable of enduring anything.” She looked to him adoringly and he smiled pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. 

They sat in companionable silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts when Victoria spoke again. 

“How soon do you want children?” 

“I don’t believe such a thing is really up to us.” He chuckled. 

“What do you mean?” She questioned. 

“Well…we cannot plan to have a child. It either happens or it does not. Tis a thing of nature that cannot be controlled on our behalf.” 

“I wish to have one immediately, and distantly as well. I want to give you another child, one that is shared of us, but I also do not wish to share your affections.” 

William laughed heartily. “Victoria, I do not think you will have to worry about that. I do not think anyone has thought of having children in such a way as you.” 

“But it is true. I want you all to myself, yet in the same moment I want to watch you sing our son to sleep, watch you teach him about politics and flowers. I want to watch you hold our baby in your arms as you both fall asleep in our bed.” She confessed as the images flowed through her mind. 

He smiled at her imaginations and knew that one day very soon she would get her wish. He would be a father again and his child would be born of Victoria. They would sire a child together and the very thought was enough to put a lump in his throat. 

XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

**Six Weeks Later**

Victoria lay on her side watching her husband sleep peacefully in their bed. She trailed her fingers across his chest lightly, not wanting to wake him, but wanting to touch him. She always reached for his scar, a reminder of the depth of his love for her and how close she’d come to losing him. She smiled down at him and sighed, happy to have him beside her. 

The past six weeks since they’d returned from their honeymoon had been stressful to say the least. William seemed to be even more present at the House despite no longer being Prime Minister, and she was kept busy by her duties. Still, amidst the long days and late nights he kept his promise and they danced every night after dinner. Some nights they stayed up later and indulged in one another; others they used the last of their energy to physically put themselves in their bed.

Victoria found the days more fulfilling and bearable with him by her side. There were more nights than not that they spent burning the midnight oil and enjoying one another’s bodies. It was knowledge of him that drove her passion and desire for more. She wanted to consume knowledge of him until she knew him better than her own mind. 

On nights when they had engagements they would often reach out with their fingers to find one another when close enough in proximity, yet too far for comfort. It was during one such engagement as they were reaching for each other that Victoria suddenly felt the urge to expel the remnants of their dinner. In the middle of the concerto she abruptly stood and began to run, ignoring what she knew her prime minister would speak about. William followed, and she allowed him to chase after her rather than Lehzen. The bathroom was too far for convenience so she ran faster, in an effort to make it before an accident happened. The servants looked after her curiously, but all she cared about was not ruining her dress or home. She made it with just seconds to spare and her husband was right there with her, holding back the layers of her dress as she dispelled the source of her discomfort. 

He said nothing and she was grateful, yet also embarrassed he’d witnessed such a thing. As always, he knew her too well and as she picked herself back up he broke his silence. 

“Sickness is all too familiar to me, it is not something to blush about my dear. Are you alright?” He asked softly, placing a hand on her cheek. 

She smiled reassuringly and nodded. “I believe so. I think dinner was not agreeable tonight is all.” 

“Shall we go back in or retire for the night?” 

“No. I…I can do it.” 

William smiled at her stubbornness and show of strength. He kissed her cheek in response. “I love you.” 

“I love you as well.” 

As they walked back into the room, William became suspicious of Victoria’s sudden illness and resolved to send for a doctor in the morning. If his suspicions were correct, then their family would soon be expanding. But he found it best not to get his hopes up for fear of being crushed by them. 

                                                         XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

“William…why is Sir James Clark here to see me?” Victoria asked with a brow raised, knowing the answer. Her husband was protective and she suspected that he would go so far as to send for the Doctor without her request simply because he cared about her health more than she did.

To his credit, he did turn red and looked to be asking for forgiveness. There was no way Victoria could be angry with him when he looked at her in such a way.

She shook her head and bid him to her. “Your punishment will be determined later, for now you owe me a kiss before you send him in.” 

He smiled sheepishly but did as she bade him, happy to kiss her. He let in the doctor and sat beside Victoria on the bed, holding her hand as the doctor began to ask questions and preform his exam. 

His heart sped up as the inquiry from Sir James turned to questions relating to pregnancy. He tried in vain to quench the fire burning in his heart, for fear of being burned again. All too soon the doctor confirmed what he had hoped to be true. She was with child, with _his_ child. 

Victoria’s reaction was priceless. She turned to him and a tear fell down her face. She was speechless. All she could do was squeeze his hand and cry. Her eyes shone with a mixed emotion of fear and love. They quickly thanked the doctor and dismissed him. No sooner had the door shut than Victoria held his face, her forehead against his own.

“This is yours. Your child.”

He shook his head against hers and kissed her. “No. Ours.” He corrected, placing a hand on her stomach. 

“William, I…I’m afraid. What if…what if I become like Princess Charlotte?” 

“No. You must not speak such things. You and our child will be the picture of health. I will not do this without you Victoria, I cannot.” 

“Nor I without you.” 

“You must not worry, it will only make you sick. I will help you. I have seen and gone through pregnancy before. You will not be alone.” He assured, stroking her face with one hand as the other lay protectively on her stomach.

“I love you.” She whispered kissing him. 

“I know my dear. I love you with the same fervor.” He found himself beginning to tear up from the overwhelming emotions upon the understanding he would be a father again. 

“Our child, William.” She whispered reverently, kissing him again. 

“Our child, Victoria.” He echoed, a smile on his lips as he returned her kisses.

Their tears of joy mingled in their kiss, tainting it with the flavor of salt in their shared happiness. 

“Did you know?” She asked, breaking apart from his lips. 

“No.” He shook his head. “But I suspected.” 

“Why not confide in me?” She asked curiously, not at all disappointed with him. 

“I…I was afraid.” 

“Of being wrong?” 

He nodded in affirmation. “I thought if perhaps I spoke it then it would no longer be real.” 

“Oh, William.” She admonished, holding his face in her hands, kissing away his tears. 

“I want our child to have your eyes.” He spoke. 

Victoria shook her head. “No, they must have your eyes and hair.” 

“Then they must have your smile.” William insisted. 

She smiled and kissed her husband soundly, her current circumstance becoming more real as they spoke their hopes aloud. 

“I shall be satisfied simply with the knowledge the child is a product of our love.” Victoria spoke, giving voice to the truth seated deep in her soul. 

“With that, I have no argument.” He agreed, a smile etched on his face, now the tears were gone. 

They kissed again and William bent down to press a kiss to her stomach. He whispered softly, “I love you.” Victoria pretended not to hear it and allow him his moment of fatherhood again, but her heart could not pretend as well. It soared and melted in unison. She felt as though this moment was a representation of the moments that would follow in their lives once this child greeted them at first cry. 

                                                       XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

  

Victoria knew her mother and her ladies were trying to be comforting and offer her words of encouragement, but all their words left her with was a pit of despair and nausea. She would have run to her husband for assurance, but he was at the House helping his party try to fight a new bill the Tories wanted to employ. She took a deep breath and steeled herself. She had to do this alone and be strong. She had to portray the resolve of a Queen, not the fears of a small girl. She closed her eyes for a moment and envisioned one of William’s smiles that always helped her regain composure and fight off her own emotions. 

With his smile in her mind’s eye, she in return smiled and thanked them for their council before diverting attention to another subject. Upon suggesting a walk, once more her mother hastened her ears with instructions to sit and rest, along with demands for her sole focus to be on keeping a healthy child so as not to die in child birth like her cousin. 

Victoria could feel the tears burning at the back of her throat and choked out the scream of frustration sitting there. In its’ place was a smile that conveyed none of Victoria’s true expressions.  In a single moment, she seemed to have gone from innumerable worth to merely a vessel for an heir. The footman announcing Sir Robert’s arrival was considered a well-timed blessing. With a curt smile, she dismissed her mother and ladies and left to her study to meet with Sir Robert and handle the dispatch boxes. 

The hours spent with Sir Robert were mercifully dull with no talk of pregnancy, apart from congratulations. For the first time in days, she finally felt like a Queen again with important tasks to accomplish and documents needing the signature of a sovereign rather than a vessel. 

At the end of the day when finally, she was alone with her husband in their chambers, she confided to him her pent-up frustrations along with her fears. He calmed her nerves with a warm embrace and a soft kiss to her temple. He in turn, revealed to her his own concerns and the renewed heartache of a child lost too soon. They held each other, finding comfort and solace in the caring embrace of one another. 

“I love you.” Victoria murmured in his ear. 

“And I, you.” 

“William, how is it possible to have so much love for someone whom I cannot see, nor know?

“It is a bond which none can fathom, that between mother and child. You can feel our child growing within. This baby is a physical manifestation of the love borne between us and to know that your love was enough to create life…it is the greatest privilege.” 

Victoria smiled and took hold of his hand placing it over her stomach. “I know this child can never, nor should ever, replace your own children, but I do hope our son or daughter brings you solace.” She spoke twisting her head from where she sat against him to meet his eyes. 

“Indeed not. They are going to be their own person just as Augustus and my daughter were their own, however short their lives.” He affirmed kissing her lips. 

                                                 XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

With the woes of pregnancy, Victoria was eternally grateful for the easy temperament of her husband and his enduring kindness. In moments when she felt completely horrid he was there assuring her of her beauty and his unwavering love and affection for her, despite her increase in size and her spells of sickness. With pregnancy came sudden changes in mood, and dear William took them all in stride, indulging in her sudden desires for certain foods, walks around the gardens, and more dances in odd places. William was the only person capable of keeping her in an agreeable mood, and sometimes even he struggled with such an arduous task. 

Sir Robert was at the receiving end of the Queen’s changes in mood from agreeable to irritable most days. It was one such of these days that Peel was not looking forward to, knowing the business he had to discuss… a regency should the Queen not survive childbirth. The thing he was dreading was her reaction when he told her that her husband was not a suitable person to serve as Regent should their child survive and not her.

The Queen was known to be quite persistent and stubborn when it came to matters concerning Melbourne. As much as Peel himself did not like the marriage, he had to admit that now seven months in, their marriage, though improper, was a love match rather than a grab at power. It was only ever the Queen who insisted upon Melbourne becoming King Consort rather than Melbourne himself who, so far as he knew, did not want the title nor power and responsibility that came with it. The sorrow that seemed to perpetually hang over the man Peel once knew, no longer existed since the day of their marriage. Melbourne now was the picture of contentment and utter satisfaction. His disposition, though still calm, was now cheerful and there was an excitement buzzing about him with the oncoming arrival of his new child. Whenever he was over for dinner at the Palace he could not help but observe how Melbourne and the Queen would find each other with their eyes every few minutes and exchange words only the two of them could hear. He could not deny that the two were in love, however unsettling it was to him. They were completely devoted to one another and he suspected it would never change no matter the length of their marriage, unlike so many others. 

Their love was strong enough to win over the British people and despite initial reservations from everyone, Melbourne was quickly cleared of suspicious intentions and even came to be praised for helping steady the Queen and bring about sound reason. She was friendlier toward members of both parties and more gracious in receiving counsel from someone who was not a Whig minister. There were still times when her spontaneity and fiery temper reared its head where matters concerning her husband were involved (such as the precedence of him not being allowed to escort her in to dinner when someone of higher rank was present). Though they had agreed upon him becoming King, it was also agreed upon that he would not receive such a title for years to come until a time when the public and privy council agreed it was acceptable. 

“Sir Robert Peel, Your Majesty.” The footman announced as he walked into her study. 

“Sir Robert.” The Queen greeted as he knelt and pressed a quick kiss to her hand. 

“Your Majesty. I’m afraid I have something of utmost importance to discuss with you that you will find most disagreeable.” Sir Robert took a deep breath, but decided to press on wanting to resolve the matter quickly, and not dwell on bringing the matter up later. He noticed how the Queen looked most uncomfortable standing with the now noticeable six month swell of her stomach. “It is to do with your pregnancy, ma’am. It must be discussed who is to be appointed as Regent should, God forbid, you perish in labor and your child survive.”

“Surely that is no hard matter. My husband is to be regent.” She looked to him confused as to why he was asking. He took a deep breath and steeled himself for the Queen’s temper that was to come. 

“Unfortunately, ma’am, though Lord Melbourne is a Duke now, he does not yet possess the royal title of King Consort which would allow him to act as Regent. Someone of a more royal standing must be put forth to the Privy Council, perhaps the Duke of Sussex?” He asked trepidly, fearing the Queen would suddenly develop a taste for violence. 

He could see the anger and frustration rising, but in a moment it disappeared and rather than snap at him she simply said, “I shall bear this in mind Sir Robert. I must think on it further.” 

Melbourne had taught her something of merit it seemed. His surprise at her calmness must have showed as she quickly asked, “Are you alright, Sir Robert? Is something the matter?” 

“Um uh, no, ma’am. Nothing is the matter.” 

“Should we continue to the dispatches now the matter of the Regency has been broached?” 

“Yes, Your Majesty, a most excellent idea.” 

“I am not feeling quite so well today, Sir Robert and would most like to lay down soon. Is there much to go over?” Victoria asked, a hand on her stomach as she shifted from foot to foot, a grimace on her face. 

“Mercifully not, Ma’am.” Sir Robert answered with a small smile. Perhaps Melbourne wasn’t all bad. 

                                                     XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX


	9. Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victoria experiences pregnancy and love in its fullest and a Prince is born.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well guys...here we are the beginning of the end. We have one chapter left and then this journey will be over.

“I am never going to be pregnant again William!” Victoria cried out after another bout of sickness. 

Their child was expected in a matter of days and still Victoria fell ill upon the slightest smell that disrupted her nose, and incidentally, her stomach. William was there with her over their chamber pot holding back her hair with one hand, and stroking her back gently. He remained silent after her outburst knowing she didn’t mean the words, but spoke them in frustration with the constant sickness. He knew how it made her feel undignified and that she hated him seeing her in such a way, but after multiple months, finally, she had accepted that there was no place he would rather be than at her side holding up her hair for her. His patience was endless and Victoria was thankful to be going through this it with her dearest friend and treasured confidant. She could only imagine the roughness with which Albert would treat her. Or perhaps he too would see her only as a vessel whom would produce his heir. He was cold and brash. Victoria had no doubt Albert was not capable of soothing her fears and calming her moods the way dear William could. He was an invaluable asset to the country due to his capability to soothe the Queen like no other. Now was one such time. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” She apologized to him as he brushed out her hair before Skerret came into their room to help her dress. 

“I know my dear.” He replied. “I hate that you are ill so often.” 

“At least it is no longer every morning and only when something assails my senses.” She agreed with a small smile, hand on her bulging stomach. 

“Are you ready?” He asked softly. 

“Yes. I want desperately to see what our child looks like and to see you hold our son or daughter.” 

“As do I. Rearing a child is the most difficult thing I’ve had to do in my life but it was also the most rewarding and now I get the privilege to do it with you.” He punctuated his sentence with a kiss to her temple and finished brushing through her hair. 

Victoria looked at him in the mirror and smiled brightly. “Dance with me.” She said. 

“What?” He asked with a laugh. 

“I want to dance with you.” 

“Are you sure the movement will not make you sick?” He asked concerned. They hadn’t danced together in weeks because of how sick and dizzy she became. 

“We shall find out.” She replied slowly getting up from the chair. They waltzed slowly around the room to the sound of the beating of their hearts for the next few minutes until Victoria began to feel dizzy and lay back on their bed with a smile. 

“I love you.” She said watching him as he dressed for the day. 

He looked back over his shoulder and smiled. “I love you too.” 

“I still wish Peel would accept you as an acceptable Regent in the event I do not survive with our child. Instead our child would be under the reign of my silly uncle Sussex.” 

“You are going to survive, so it’s really not something worth arguing heavily.” 

“They know you will be King in a few years so I do not see why they should not like for you to be Regent now.” 

“I would really rather not be King. Prime Minister was hard enough and I do not think it wise to make me King. We’ve discussed this before.” 

“I know we have, but I would like for our children’s Father to have a title befitting of his worth.” 

William smiled weakly. “I have a title befitting of my worth.” 

Victoria shook her head in disagreement. “You are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for. You are invaluable to this country and more so to me. The people will see how blessed they are to have you in such a position of authority. You do so much for them and yet they do not know.” 

“You and our children are blessing enough and more than I could have ever hoped for.” He spoke, remembering the early days of their relationship. 

Victoria stayed silent and thought back on what should have happened. She should have married Albert. She found herself swelling once again with love for William and for the product of their love. She placed her hands on her stomach and whispered how much she loved the child growing in her womb. In just days she would get to meet their child and both fear and excitement were present in equal measures. 

                                                 XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

She’d never experienced pain like this before. It was excruciating and her vision was blurred. She understood why her cousins and so many women died in childbirth now and she feared she may become one of them. Everything hurt. It felt like she was being torn apart from the inside. She wanted so badly to float away from all the pain, to fall asleep and succumb to the darkness that was pulling her. But she felt something squeeze her hand and a gentle voice whisper in her ear. That voice. She knew that voice. It brought comfort and peace. It pulled her back to the brightness of the room and all the ringing in her ears vanished to be replaced by that calming low voice once again. She couldn’t make out the words but they brought her unexplainable peace. Everything snapped back into focus and she could see Sir James standing there telling her to keep pushing and the other doctors in the room helping to birth her child. Her head fell to the side and there she saw her husband. There was fear in his eyes. 

“Stay with us Victoria. You’re nearly there. Keep pushing for me dear.” 

She stared into his eyes with awe and found the strength to continue through the pain. She took a deep breath and summoned his strength into her muscles to push their child out into the world. She screamed through the pain clenching his hand with the strength to bruise and continued to push until a cry not her own broke through the noise. She’d done it. That cry. That was their child. 

“It’s a boy!” Sir James cried out over their child’s wails. 

Victoria closed her eyes panting, feeling weak and sweaty from the exertion. “William.” She whispered through a pant. 

“He’s here. He’s here my love.” William answered. She could hear the tears in his eyes and opened her own to look at his face. He kissed her quickly and continued to cry as he stood to take his son in his arms. 

“My little boy.” She heard William say reverently. Immediately the crying ceased and the boy’s head turned toward the sound of his father. “Hello son.” He greeted quietly. 

Victoria watched their interaction and began to cry herself. William came to sit on the bed beside her with their son cradled in his arms, swaddled in a blanket. 

“Say hello to your mother.” He instructed the newborn babe. 

“Hi.” Victoria murmured in awe. Already she could see William in their son’s features and it brought a fresh wave of tears. “Hi.” She repeated taking one of their son’s still bloody hands. His little hand wrapped around her finger and Victoria felt her heart swell with love for their son. 

“What shall we call him?” William asked entranced with their son, taking care to wipe him off with the blanket. 

“Shall we call him William?” She asked hopefully. 

He smiled and kissed his wife’s head. “I’m afraid our son will not be well received if he is to be a King named after me.” 

Victoria frowned. “But it is a strong name for a King. And if he becomes even half the man his father is, this country will be most grateful to have their next monarch be King William the second.” 

“I applaud your tenacity, but I should like our son to have a name unique of his own. Something to grow into and become his own man rather than an imitation of another.” 

“I have always been fond of the name Edmund.” Victoria offered. 

“Edmund William?” He asked, acquiescing to her request. 

“Yes. Edmund William Melbourne.” She affirmed tilting her head to reach William’s lips. He met her lips and they lay there together as the Doctor’s continued to fuss over Victoria and then their son. 

It wasn’t until later when they were alone, and Victoria was drifting off to sleep watching William pace around with their son humming him to sleep, that she finally felt the satisfaction and contentment that William told her about all those weeks ago. 

“I think I want another one.” She murmured breaking the silence. 

“Another child?” He asked with an amused smirk on his lips. 

“Yes. Another child with you. Our son is so beautiful, more so now he is clean.” She said as her eyes fluttered closed again. 

“Sleep, my love. You’ve done enough today. I’ll take care of Edmund.” He assured kissing her forehead. Victoria smiled and nodded her consent before quickly falling to sleep, exhausted. 

                                                  XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

The weeks that followed Edmund’s birth were a whirlwind of introductions and visitors to the palace. Victoria’s sole comfort through all of it was retiring to her shared room at the end of the day to spend some time with her husband and son. William had insisted Edmund have a bed in their room rather than spend all his time with a nursemaid. While she enjoyed the active role he took in fatherhood, she also missed having time alone with her husband and being able to sleep through the night. So often their son was hungry and would only sleep a handful of hours at a time. William was quick to run to his side and she was ever so grateful for his help and devotion.  Motherhood was difficult but as William said, it was also rewarding to be able to watch her son grow day by day and look more like the man she’d so easily fallen in love with. 

Edmund had his father’s eyes and curly hair just as she’d hoped and so often she found herself staring into her son’s eyes and running a hand through his hair. When he smiled, she saw her own smile and she smiled back at him. He was so beautiful and such a happy baby. Anytime his father spoke Edmund would go silent and stare in awe. It seemed he’d taken to his father the same way Victoria first had. So often William would take him for walks in the gardens and explain the different flowers and their meanings. He would talk to him about the rooks and tell their son stories. She fell more in love with William the more she saw him interact with Edmund and she didn’t think life could get much better. She was happy and content with her life in a way she’d never been before. England had their male heir that they wanted, and she had a piece of William that would continue to live on even when he was gone. History would never be able to forget him now or say he was of no importance when he had helped to produce the next heir to the throne. Victoria was satisfied. 

                                                   XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

 

On the day of their one year anniversary three weeks later, Victoria awoke to an arrangement of flowers consisting of dark red and white carnations. There was a note that came with it telling her of the meaning of each flower and short paragraph thanking her for a wonderful first year of marriage. At the end of the note was an invitation to meet her husband that evening for dinner at Brocket Hall and instructions for Edmund to stay at the palace with his nursemaid and an explanation that they would return to the palace the next morning. 

Victoria found herself excited at the prospect of a night alone with her husband. It had been so long since they’d had any time alone together at night and she was aching for his body’s loving caress. 

After completing her tasks for the day with Sir Robert she received yet another note from William whom she had yet to see. This note she found herself blushing at profusely. She set off for Brocket Hall just after lunch and kissed her son goodbye finding it hard to leave him even if only for a night. 

As she rode to the country home she’d grown most fond of, she felt her heart beating just as fast as the day she’d rode there to propose to him. The day her life had first began to radically change. She had been assured in the note that he’d prepared everything and she need not worry about a single thing nor bring anything apart from herself. She wondered just what her husband had planned and knew if it was anything like what he’d done for her birthday she’d be most pleased. He took such care and time into planning these things, even down to the smallest detail. All she’d managed to do for him was surprise him with a glasshouse of his own at the palace. While he’d said it was more than enough she couldn’t help but feel that everything she did for him paled in comparison to what he did for her. He was too good of a husband and father. He was good at everything he did and she envied him for it.   

When she arrived at Brocket Hall she was greeted with another flower arrangement, this time of red tulips and a small note explaining their meaning and informing her that there was a change of clothes for dinner waiting in their bedroom. When she walked to their room she saw the dress laid out on the bed and it took her breath away. It was so beautiful. Such an elegant evening gown. Royal red and silk. Her husband must have spent a fortune. On the dress was another written note from William inviting her to dinner outside with the rooks at half past six. She looked to the clock and noted that was only a short while from then. She smiled feeling giddy and summoned a dresser to help her change. One thing she hadn’t missed being pregnant were the corsets. She had the dresser put the flowers in her hair and smiled at her reflection in the mirror. Her heart was beating wildly, ready to finally see her husband after such a long day spent apart and all the lovely notes proclaiming his love and devotion for her. 

As she approached their notorious spot she noted a table in the middle of the clearing. There were candles flickering on the table casting dancing shadows, as well as servants off to the side. Standing beside the table was her beloved. She broke out into a smile and quickened her pace, eager to hold him. Before she ever reached him she could see his own blinding smile and the bouquet of red roses held in his hands. She smiled broadly and greeted him with a kiss not caring about the others present. 

“Happy anniversary, darling.” He whispered into her ear. She smiled and took the flowers from his hands to smell them. She adored how he spoke in flowers. 

“Thank you.” She spoke softly, afraid of showing the tears burning behind her eyes. 

“Come, sit down. I’ve been waiting for you all day and have missed you terribly.” 

“As have I. But your beautiful flowers and gifts have sustained me until this moment.” She sat down at the seat he pulled out for her and was delighted when he kissed her cheek and began to weave the newest flowers into her hair alongside the others before going to sit in his own seat right beside her. 

“How is Edmund?” 

“He’s doing just fine. I gave him a kiss for you before I left and was assured that if something happened we would be told immediately.” 

William smiled and nodded his head. “Good. Tonight, is just for us. No talk of Edmund or boxes or Sir Robert’s blunders.” 

“I’d like that.” Victoria agreed with an easy smile. “It has been far too long since we’ve been truly alone.” 

“Indeed.” 

“What have you planned for dinner for us?” 

“I asked the chef to make your favourites of course.” 

Victoria’s eyes glimmered in delight. “You spoil me too much, William.” 

“I do not.” He argued. “I give you all the things a husband should so willingly bestow to his wife.” He corrected with a glint in his eye. 

“Then I must be luckiest woman in all of England to have found such a willing husband.” She said reaching out for his hand. 

“I am the lucky one.” 

“I think I am the one who is most lucky. I would be lost without you. My Lord M, my companion, husband, my dearest William.” There was a nostalgic smile on her lips that was mirrored on his. “I thank God every day I have you.” 

He picked up her hand and placed a kiss to it. “If you continue my dear you may overwhelm my heart.” 

“Good.” She replied happily. “I want you to know how much I cherish you.” 

“You can show me tonight when we’re alone.” He murmured just loud enough for her alone to hear. 

Victoria blushed under his gaze that had begun to warm her. She looked away but with his words she felt the first stirrings of desire. 

                                                      XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

  

**8 Weeks Later**

“William! William!” Victoria cried running through the gardens outside, desperately trying to find him. She was bursting with joy, laughing giddily as she ran, her feet bare. 

“We’re in here my love!” He called out from the greenhouse. Edmund must be with him then. 

Sure enough, as she ran into the greenhouse she saw Edmund sitting in the dirt and her husband standing over him, watering one of the flower buds. She noted the exact moment he saw her as his eyes went wide and dropped the watering can. She ran straight into his arms and collided with a thud. She heard the ‘umpf’ come from him but he held her securely and laughed. 

“What has got you in such a pleasant mood?” 

She pulled back from him holding onto his hips and looked up beaming a smile at him. “You know I love you, yes?” 

“Of course I do.” 

“Do you know how much I love you?” 

“Enough to potentially risk your crown.” He replied with an eyebrow raised, curious where her line of questioning was going. When she remained silent, still only smiling like a fool in love, he laughed again and asked, “What? What is it?” 

“Our family is going to be one bigger in nine months.” 

He gasped and his grip on her tightened. Rather than smile at the news like she’d expected she watched as tears began to form in his eyes. 

“You’re with child?” He asked in a whisper the first tear falling. 

“Yes!” She said unable to contain her joy. William pulled her quickly to him and crushed her in a hug. 

“A baby. We’re having another baby. I’m going to be a father of two.” His voice quivered. 

“William, are you alright?” Victoria asked now afraid. 

He laughed through the tears and kissed her head multiple times. “Alright? Alright? I’m more than alright my dear. I’m happy. I’m overwhelmed with joy that I’m crying. A baby! We’re having another child!” He cried holding her tightly. 

Edmund continued to sit in the dirt playing with the worms wondering why his mother and father were both crying and laughing and just why they kept pressing their faces together. He did not understand what was going on but was happy that his father was happy.

                                                         XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX


	10. God Save the King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> William is made King.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so here we are...the final chapter.

**5 years later**

“Edmund, Winnie stop playing with your breakfast. You’re in your nice clothes. You don’t want to get them dirty before the ceremony for Papa do you?” Victoria admonished her children as she tried to feed baby Alice. Her son and daughter constantly amused themselves by playing with their food, it was still a habit both her and William were trying to break. 

“Listen to your mother, children.” William instructed as he walked into the room. 

“Papa!” Winnie cried sliding out of her seat and running to her father. The little girl had taken on Victoria’s blue eyes and smile, but William’s curls. She had her mother’s temper and Father’s interests. 

William pretended to struggle as he picked her up grunting. “You’re getting so big my little girl. How old are you again? Are you six?” 

Winnie giggled. “No Papa! You know I’m four.” 

“Are you sure?” He asked looking to Victoria with a knowing smile on his lips. 

“I’m sure! Eddy is older than me! He’s almost six!” Their daughter giggled. 

“I guess you’re right.” He relented with a playful smile and a kiss to her cheek. “Finish your breakfast sweetheart. It’s going to be a long ceremony and Mum isn’t bringing snacks.” 

“Yes Papa.” She complied happily wiggling to let him know she wanted down. 

“Edmund. How are you doing, son?” 

“I’m fine Papa.” The boy answered. With time, they’d watched Edmund develop his father’s ease of manner and take on a passion for learning and painting. He was a handsome lad who, even at the early age of five, was quite popular with the ladies.  

“Anything new you’re learning in your studies?” He asked walking over to his side of the table to sit beside his wife. He kissed her cheek before sitting and kissed his youngest daughter’s head as well.

“Oh, yes! My governess is teaching me about our family history. Is it true that I’m going to be King when I’m older?” The little boy asked, eyes alight. 

Victoria and William shared a smile before William answered. “Yes. When your mother is too tired to be Queen then you will be King.” 

“I don’t want to be King yet Papa. I think you are a better King, and mum is a great Queen. The other children I play with think she is beautiful.” 

Victoria smiled at her son. “I think you will make a wonderful King, Edmund.” 

“Thank you Mama. I hope I make you and Papa proud when I am King.” 

“I have no doubt that you will son.” William assured with a kind smile. “How are you doing my love?” He directed to Victoria. 

“Thankfully, I was not sick this morning and managed to eat a full meal.” 

“Our little one is being kind to their mama then. How fortunate.” He smiled and placed a hand on her belly rubbing gently. Baby Alice began to squirm reaching for her father and wailed when Victoria held her tighter trying to feed her the mashed food. 

“Let me, love.” William offered taking Alice from Victoria. She sighed and shook her head. “Why is she always like this whenever you’re in the room? She’s never fussy when we’re alone but as soon as you come she screams until you hold her.” 

“I guess she takes after her mother.” William quipped with a smirk. 

“Tread softly William Lamb.” She said with no real malice. He in turn just grinned and took over feeding Alice her breakfast. Alice was the spitting image of her mother and seemed to take on most all of her traits, including her attachment to William. The one thing that Alice took from her father however was his love of flowers. 

“How are you feeling about today?” Victoria inquired. 

“Nervous.” He admitted. “I’m not quite sure how I feel about all of this.” 

“After today you will finally have the title you were always meant to have. King Consort William.” She spoke proudly. 

“I’m more than happy with the titles husband and father.” He said glancing over at her. 

“I know you are, but it’s time. We’ve waited long enough. The council have already agreed and the people have spoken. Just listen. Can you hear them outside?” She asked with a smile, pride welling in her heart that he was finally being accepted. 

Faintly, if everyone was silent, the cheer ‘God save the King’ could be heard. She watched his face turn pink and she smiled even brighter. He’d always thought of himself as being so little, but now his true worth was finally being affirmed. King. 

                                                       XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX                   

 

William felt his heart racing as the crown was being lowered onto his head. He felt his hands shaking and he could only hope it was not very noticeable. From the corner of his eye he saw his wife sitting proudly beside him and it made his heart jump. She’d done this. All of this for him. He still didn’t believe himself quite worthy of being King but she, and the people, even a majority of the council, believed him to be worthy of the new title. And if they all believed in him, and his wife and children already saw him as a King, then maybe it was time he began to believe it as well. 

He repeated the words of the archbishop and after being anointed he stood and heard the people begin to chant again, ‘God save the King’. 

In that moment, he felt so overwhelmed that he couldn’t fight back the few tears that fell. All his life his mother had told him he was destined for greatness; never could he have imagined this. First, he’d married where it should have been impossible, then he’d produced an heir, then three others, and now…now he was King. It was better than any dream. 

As he walked outside the Abbey with Victoria at his side he paused and looked at her, a smile on his face, as the crowd cheered loudly and shouted for them both. He took her hand in one and with the other waved to the people. He stood there and let the cries of his people wash over him. 

 _“God save the King!”_  

                                                 XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX        

 

When they arrived back at the palace Victoria surprised him with some peony’s and purple tulips. His wife never ceased to amaze him with her small gestures. 

“Your Majesty.” Victoria greeted playfully in their bedroom. He laughed and smiled at her. 

“Thank you for the flowers.” 

“I know how much they mean to you. And with how often you give me flowers, I wanted to return the gesture.” She explained wrapping her arms around his waist. 

“Thank you, Victoria.” 

“You already said that.” She laughed stretching up on tip toes to kiss him. 

“No…thank you, for this entire life you’ve given me. You brought me back to life the day you entered mine, and even now you’re giving me more than I could have ever hoped for.” 

“I didn’t start living until you entered my life.” She countered. “We saved each other.” 

“Of all the stories I tell our children, I think this one is my favourite.” 

“What story?” She asked, eyebrow quirked, not understanding his meaning. 

“Our love story.” He replied kissing her. She smiled through the kiss and held his head to her deepening it. 

“It’s not over yet, King William.” She murmured in between kisses, pulling him toward the bed. 

“I don’t believe it is either, my Queen.” He agreed smiling through their kiss. “It’s only just the beginning.” 

                                                  XxxxXXxxxXXxxxX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the interest you've shown in this story and as our dearest Lord M said, this is only the beginning. The next story I planned as a bunch of different one shots showing the life of the family that has become known as the royal rooks.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts, comments, questions. I'll take em all. General praise is accepted too but not required. :p


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